|Blogs > JohnerH > My Innocence...|
The last sort 4 years have been quite difficult to deal with.
This is mostly due to the fact that my social management skills are not the best.... Or to be honest, are really really crap.
Since moving over, I've managed to loose a childhood friend, loose a long term girlfriend and kinda of loose touch with people I've met in the meantime.
Not only that, but I have a serious issue with keeping friends (on the girl side of things) as friends.
Now correct me if I'm wrong, but how hard is it to keep girls as just friends?
Last year I met a girl that was my image but of the opposite sex...We became instant friends, had a right laugh shared the same kind of humor, shared the same sort of tastes, even got to the point we where agreeing and pointing out which boys and girls would suit us both...
So what happened? One night, we where out on the booze having fun and we ended up sleeping together (mistake nr. 1). The next couple of days where a bit weird, we didn't really know how to approach it. Should we give it a go or should we just class it as a one off and move on?
Finally we decided to give it go, all was well, weird at first, because neither of us had had a relationship in quite a length of time so, it was like finding out new stuff all over again...
But then, what did -I- go and do.................
One night, I was out of mates and one of her best friends joined the group. We started drinking having a laugh and what not, by the end of the night all my friends went home expect for my bf's best friend.
We decided to go to a club since neither of us where really in the mood to go home (mistake nr. 2).....We continued to drink (mistake nr.3).....
Note: that night between me and her we must have had about 2 bottle of JD between us...
By the end of the night we where so pissed we could barely walk let alone dance, so we kind just sat down in a corner and leaned against each other...guess what happened...
We ended up not only snogging but actually sleeping together...
Ahhhh! Next morning, apart from waking up with one of the most severe hang over's in my life, I came to realize what I'd done the night before and who I had laying next me....Instant guilt and remorse I came to feel...
Dropped the girl off at home, instantly called my girlfriend telling her what I'd done, 4 hours later god knowing how, she managed to forgive me (Like I said I don't know how, and until this day I still don't)....
Note: Up to today they're still best friends!? Goes to show how little I understand women...
After about a month or so we came to the conclusion that having a relationship on that level wasn't the best thing, so we decided to call it quits. After this we remained friends but it was never quite the same thing... All the best times I had before any of this happened I realized I'd never have again and that really pissed me off.
Above anything else I was disappointed with myself.
But at the end of the day I think I just deserved it....Perhaps I'm just not cut out for the whole social thing at least with female friends....
I just wish sometimes I'd learn and be mature enough to be able to separate things....
Or maybe, the best option yet, just never drink again in life.
Here's me hopping I'm not the only one gone through this boat.
5/14/2005 7:48 am
We all make our mistakes in life. We learn from them and move forward. We occasionally get second chances; when we do, we take full reign of them and avoid all mistakes from the past.|
Best of luck to ya!!
5/14/2005 10:16 am
It's all good now... I think I've finally been given the gift of learning...|
7/8/2005 3:17 pm
Hey txrose is right, we are taught to beat ourselves up for mistakes, nothing in this life is perfect least of all us. |
The most successful people make mistakes and learn from them, at least that's the mantra I keep holding onto