How do you see this?  

JohnerH 35M
44 posts
1/2/2006 10:54 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

How do you see this?

First of all happy new year everyone!

Here's me wishing you all had a good one and I hope the new year brings you whatever the one last one didn't...

Today I wanted to write about something that is somewhat subjective and differs from person to person...

How do you know when your falling in love?

What are the indications you see and feel that indicate that you have more then just an attraction for the person your with? The reason I'm asking this is because, in my personal experience I've only really fallen and been in love once.

This was back when I was a young and naive boy and didn't really know otherwise. Sex for me was just a term used to indicate that people were “mating” and therefor were on their way to having kids. I simply had no clue that it was also used to express how you felt for someone or just for plain fun.

It's just in recent years I've been trying to overturn this tendency I have to just be “content” with someone. You know, when your with someone, you like being near them but at the end of it just stays like that (ie.: a one sided affair). I don't feel the overwhelming desire I once felt with my first love.

Now, I've heard close friends of mine say that you feel different things about different people. You love people differently and in different ways and that the love you once felt for one person will never be the same as the love you would feel for the next person that pops in to your life. Is this true?

Don't get me wrong I'm not sat here saying, I WANNA FALL IN LOVE ( because that would just be totally childish and no like me really) or I need to be loved. At the moment I'm quite happy as I am, but sometimes I feel a bit frustrated that I spend quite a bit (or a long amount) of time with someone only to find out that I only feel for them up to a certain degree. It never goes beyond “that” certain barrier.

I tend to think that perhaps in the years after I left my first girlfriend the experiences I had weren't exactly the best ones and as a result I was never actually able to fully open up to someone thereafter although I wanted to share myself emotionally. Is this normal?

I'm no angel thats for sure, with the people I've been with and that I actually tried to open up with I ended up not totally committing myself (because something in me wouldn't let me) which in turn led to the belief of the partner I was with that there was something wrong with her, which obviously wasn't the case.

This kept happening to me quite often. I'd get in to what seem to be a relationship only to have it end because I simply couldn't feel what the girl felt for me. Every time this happened I ended up hurting her without any intention of doing so...

What should I do in future? How can I prevent myself from hurting anyone? (If I were to get in to another relationship that is...) Should I just remain celibate? Should I just content myself by knowing that I'm only good for one night stands and that In the long run I would only fail every time I tried to have a relationship with anyone?

Boy this is a hard though to bear.

But hey you know what? New year, new life as they say, and as I'm writing here I feel really happy inside, although this popped in to my head, It did so before I'd had one of the best early new years I could ever had...

So for now boys and girls I will bid myself goodbye wishing myself that whatever happened before this new year started I'd get more as this new years ends...For it truly made me a happy man

Adious....

J


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