Goodbye friend...  

JohnerH 35M
44 posts
5/30/2005 10:55 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Goodbye friend...

One week holiday,

That's what I had. Isn't it great when you finally realize your going home. Not just home.... but home home...

Family, friends, food wine and works, you tend to think that it's going to be the perfect place to be pampered for a week.

Under normal circumstances this would be the case, but this holiday went but normal...

Before I start...

Has anyone ever suffered from being an emigrant? Well, suffering is probably not the word for this, but, I tend to think that no matter how good you are in maintaining contact with your friends you always seem to loose it when you move away.

This has been the case for me at least. Out of 4 years here, slowly but surely I lost contact. I tend to see them mostly when I have a chance to go home and “chase” them up frantically.

The reason I'm saying this is because this time I went home, my chasing up come up with the news that one of my childhood friend had passed away. Now I'm not going to get into how it happened because to be honest it's quite irrelevant to this.

I don't really know how to describe anything of the week I had.

All I can say is that I regret not spending more time with him, and ultimately loosing immediate contact with him.

For that I leave something he introduced me to when I spend long days and nights with his company.

This described how he was and how he though and how I'll miss him.

Quote from Baz Luhrmann lyrics from - “Everybody's Free”

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering

I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth;

oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.

But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….

You’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future;

or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.


Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.


Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.


Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…

The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…

what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either ‒ your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body,

use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..


Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents,

You never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and Lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.


Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…........”

Fair well friend...

Note: sorry for any mistakes or misspelling. I wrote this on the fly and didn’t really want to edit it.

rm_Elysia2005 43F
412 posts
5/30/2005 8:16 pm

Wrapping you in my arms from afar, and sending prayers and healing strength your way. Remember that home is where the heart is, and therefore you will always have a home here.

Lill27 45F

6/1/2005 4:01 pm

Sending prayers your way hun,it is not easy to live away from your home country but you never really feel it till you get a bit down and then it catches you,when you are unaware.Sending you hugs XX

rm_SpnshButrfly 39F
26 posts
6/5/2005 3:13 pm

You know J, it's those special ones in our lives that we should cherish even when they have passed. I know it hurts to lose someone and feel guilty when you weren't able to say your good bye.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.
Everyone has a purpose for coming into your life even if for a second.

Losing someone can be hard but, the treasure of ever knowing them, especially as closely as you knew your friend, is a gift in itself.
May that make your heart smile and help your wounds heal.

I have a little poem that was sent to me by a cousin of mine that lives far from me but we stay 'close' by staying in touch with emails. I hope this will help your heart smile.


I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

~I wish you enough hugs to help you heal J.

gordi1978 38F
633 posts
6/10/2005 1:50 pm

I have no words to express this feeling. I lived 2 years in Scotland (I'm Spanish) and know how it feels to be far away from home, not only physically. In those wonderful years I only came back home once for a week. That Christmas, a friend of mine died.

It shocked me, we had been friends since we were at nursery but lost contact when we started university, and then when I left Spain. She was one of my best friends, really, she knew me better than any other, and I didn't have to speak when we were together. She knew how to respect that quiet way I have sometimes, and we didn't feel uncomfortable at all. I couldn't understand how I let her go, time before she went for good. I guess you think it's not going to happen, that you still got time to do it, or call her, or meet her whenever you have some spare time. It's the lie of youth, I guess.

Inmortality. I still remember our afternoons together, or the day she came running to my house saying she had a new sister, or when we said goodbye when I took the train to Madrid to catch the plane to Edinburgh. I remember many things, but I still can't forgive myself completely for not phoning her more than twice since I left.

Friends are one of the most precious treasures we have, and it's sad that loosing someone makes you think... I wish we thought about these things before they happen.

I'm really sorry about your friend, J, if you need to talk or something,

All the best for all of you.

Become a member to create a blog