JohnerH 35M
44 posts
5/16/2005 3:25 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


How far will people go to get attention?

I start thinking about it, and I suddenly divide the thing in genders.

I'll give you a slight insight into what I see in this...

First I'll start describing the simplest of the two (in my opinion at least).


"Boys will be boys"

But in fact now days they're not really boys anymore. They're starting to come out as more like home bread stallions then anything else (This a GENERAL approach so don't kill me).

As the world grows up so does the amount of effort and ways needed by boys to show off and impress the opposite sex.

Now, what do they do? For rich kid, it starts off with fancy cars, they wear Hugh Boss's (or whatever design label in vogue) new duuuddaa, they splash cash on anything and everything they can trying to smoothly pay their way into the attention span of others.

Others, are what we call, "The Dudes"! In other words they're the kewl boyz, they talk soo kewl and always know what to say. They know everything about the new trends and whats Hip. And notoriously they're the ones hanging around the web and general pretending to be something they're blatantly not.

And the third kind of boys (and the one's I seem to identify myself more with [for some unknown reason]), are the boys that show off they're b-r-a-i-n. Yes, the ones who attract people not by how they look, but how they're actually inside.

Now,moving swiftly along to the other side of the coin...


Ah ah! Now this where it gets interesting.

Have you EVER heard of a girl who doesn't seek/need/demand attention? Though so...

Why? Because they need it, it's genetically imprinted when they're born.

This is very well explained from a scientific point of view. It has to do with the fact that they're females, and as such they NEED the attention of the opposite sex (which I described above).

Sometimes they'll do anything to get attention (note AGAIN, this does not apply to everyone, I'm being very generally here...) even going through the boundaries of common sense.

Another curious thing about this is that as times goes go by the more selective they become towards who they allow themselves to be approached by.

So having said all that, how do they get the attention?

Well I tend to slightly class them a weeee bit.

The Barbie girl,

Let's see, they wear make up, they dress to kill, they spend hours on end trying to look good and most of the time they act totally different from what they actually are...(Normally it's here most guys google about)

The Business woman,

Hell, this is a though breed, they prove themselves and get attention through the hard work and the professional success they obtain. Again they, play a sort of game where they adapt to every situation they encounter, (The chameleon breed I like to call them...) and from my experience they're more interested in smashing the opposite sex then anything else.

And finally, there is the normal, simple lass, thats just herself, sometimes fighting very hard for the attention that all the others get,but sometimes hiding herself when wanting it because she's too shy to come out.

All and all I wish it was like the old days,

See, I recall the stories my mom old me, about how in her day and age, her first boyfriend still threw little stones at the window to get her attention.

Simples gestures of obtaining attention that back in that day, meant so much more then the complicated, sophisticated attention grabbing schemes that boys and girls alike use to get it.

In some way or another we fall into all sorts of different categories, which ones would you be in?

How do you seek your attention?

rm_Elysia2005 43F
412 posts
5/16/2005 4:25 pm

(Surprised that once again, it's me commenting? LO For me, like so many other things, it's situational. Even the way I meet people online differs to some degree from person to person. I guess I fall into that chameleon category, though it's less about pleasing/ attracting a guy, and more about what I want to get out of the deal and how I want to go about it. Let's take, hypothetically speaking, me and a man who lives in, oh, let's say the UK... the likelihood of us meeting in person is relatively low. Even talking on the phone is not particularly likely, and if that were to happen, I'm just not much into phone sex these days. So, though there's a definite sexual attraction here (on my part at least), a blatantly sexual approach would yield nothing but frustration, as that level of sexuality often precludes getting to know one another on a deeper level. Yet, being drawn to this hypothetical man as I am, I can't just turn away and ignore him. So instead, I talk to him, through messages, through e mails, etc. Hope that a friendship develops, and indeed do what I can to foster a friendship. To what end? Well, for that kind of distance, I doubt a man is likely to make a transatlantic "booty call" unless he's just stupid-rich. However, if he's inclined to travel anyway, and he knows there is a woman in Texas who he can genuinely consider a friend... PLUS he knows he can probably get a piece... well he's that much more likely to make a point of seeing me if it's at all possible. And if he does... if he comes several thousand miles, and there is for any reason less chemistry in person than there is online... well, we're still friends and can still enjoy each other's company and conversation.

In person, I seek attention in different ways, and sometimes I get attention I don't really seek, and never quite figure out how I got it in the first place. Sometimes I'm just being me, sometimes I'm deliberately flirty, sometimes I'm deliberately slutty, sometimes I guess I project an air of vuunerability that attracts guys - either because they want to protect me or because they want to prey on me. I don't think I have a hard-and-fast, tried-and-true method for getting attention.

rm_SpnshButrfly 39F
26 posts
6/5/2005 2:57 pm

hmm... I don't know about this all being necessarily true J.
I don't fit in either of your categories. I don't really care for attention. I am comfortable just being me and I tend to feel like a loner even though I usually draw some attention. I have been told it's because I have a way with people. I express myself freely and people can often relate to what I am saying.
I usually not comfortable being in the spotlight. I am actually very subtle usually. However, I am very opinionated, open minded, and expressive, and love a good conversation and sometimes even a good debate. So, being in some groups here (some we are fellow members of) it's in my nature to reply to some that I have a comment about.
If you were to meet me in person, you'd be quite surprised to find that I am actually kind of shy and reserved, well at first anyway. I just smile quite a bit and people can usually tell how I am thinking or feeling by the look on my face and body language. It isn't until I warm up that I get chatty. If I had to categorize myself, I would say I am more of a wallflower in person. I know that doesn't seem to be the case here on the discussion boards. LOL! I have discovered that it seems easy for me when I read something to just type what I think. That isn't always so easy for me to do in person unless I feel the inspiration to do so.
I like the fact that you actually THINK. Alot of guys on here don't do much of that and that doesn't even exist in the vocabulary of some. Then again, you are a Virgo. ^_^ It's in your nature to THINK and ANALYZE. I find it very stimulating and refreshing that you can be so expressive and open about your thoughts and questions. It gives us something to think about.

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