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What's that bitter taste?
What's that bitter taste?
Okay. This is my first blog entry.
I'm kind of excited, nervous, and apprehensive at the same time. Why? I have no idea. It's just a place for me to write down what's on my mind. Things I've done repeatedly on various message boards in the past -- including this site. Yet for some reason, this seems more... personal. Strange.
Oh well, here goes...
One thing I've noticed on this site is the amount of sheer bitterness that stems from some of the members. So bitter that it leaves a funny feeling in my mouth after reading their posts. Yikes!
Men and women are both guilty. Many have brought the bitterness of their past experiences to this site and it is reflecting in their posts and messages. It seems like so many people have Paul Bunyon sized axes to grind, or have a Gibraltar-sized chip on their shoulder. I especially see it in how both sexes respond to each other.
I'm going to "pick on" the women for right now. Why? Because it's easier! Don't worry, though. I'll get to the men later...
First of all, from what I've read on this site through advice lines, articles, blogs, etc... there are a LOT of women who have a very negative attitude towards men. I understand that you may have had some painful experiences in the past and that some men do treat women horribly. And that those negative experiences have left some bitterness and resentment. That's understandable.
What I don't understand is what they are doing on this site? There are plenty of posts in the Advice section which really show how jaded some of the women members are. I always seem to find an advice post which is really just a thinly veiled excuse to bash men in general: Why are men liars and cheats? Why are men such dogs? Why do men always take advantage of women? Why do men contact me when I'm not interested in them?
Why do men only want sex? Why do men have to be players? Blah, blah, blah...
So... why are they here? If there is so much pent-up resentment and hostility towards men, then why be on what amounts to a sex site? I just don't get it...
The goal of this site and the advertising ploy is for people to "hook up" (for lack of a better term). How can you possibly expect to have a successful encounter on this site when there is so much animosity towards the opposite gender? It seems pointless...
Furthermore, many of these bitter women are "older" and presumably more experienced. Yes I know age is a relative term, but a 45 year old is still older than a 23 year old...
I wonder, what types of choices have they made in their life to have such a negative outlook towards men? What decisions do they keep making that leads them down the path to yet another negative encounter. What is the pattern of behavior? Why have so many women met so many wonderful men, yet these women have had nothing but disappointment and hurt feelings?
It's not as simple as "all men are pigs". It can't be. If that were the case, then there's no such thing as Mr. Right. And if they're searching for Mr. Right, then that means that some hope in men must still remain.
I wonder what would happen if they responded to a man in the opposite manner that they normally would? Perhaps that's the key. Perhaps they have had such bad experiences because they are inevitably attratcted to the wrong kind of men? What if when they received an email from a member and their first reaction is "ugh! next.." to stop and go "why not?"
If the choices they've made in the past have been wrong, and have led to negative expereinces, then can the opposite be right? Are they passing up their own Mr. Right and instead leaning towards Mr. Wrong? Are they simply self-destructive?
There are a lot of nice men out there, and a lot of women looking for nice men. So what is happening? Why can't they connect?
9/20/2005 1:56 pm
How many "nice guys" do you think are on this site? Why *are* guys such players? Personally, I find it easier to screen jerks and idiots online because men here will say what they are really about in an email. If the only thing they like about your profile is the pic, you understand that pretty easily.|