Funny Mails and A WTF ?  

JoLeeS 40F
249 posts
4/25/2006 11:31 pm

Last Read:
4/28/2006 12:17 pm

Funny Mails and A WTF ?

OK... I just have to laugh with some of the e-mails I get.... Do not get me wrong. I get great e-mail sometimes(can always use more...hint hint). But I get some off the wall ones too. Let me just share with you my latest barage of.."OMG did you really type that"....
As always I will not mention who they are... Silly fucks that they are....

1. Hey baby let's fuck at the bathroom in the mall... Ummm.. No thanks?
2. You don't know me but will you lick my asshole? Again.. I am getting a fuck no storm....
3. Would you let my brother(yes...she said brother)fuck you while I watch? No and you need professional help on that one....
Last but certainly not least....again with the animals... It was so gross I won't type what he said.....

And as for the WTF..... I was sitting here minding my business when I get a knock on my door.... I see some guy standing there(as usual..same ol shit different person)only the bastard is holding something white and furry..... It's our GD cat(who by the way has had the kittens...don't know where though). I got my Titleist Princess golf club(my weapon of choice) and opened the door with the chain across. I said... Yeah what ya want? He said is this your cat? I said yeah why? He said I will give her back if you give me five bucks.....

I said hold on a sec... I flipped on the porch light and grabbed the club.... I swung the door open fast and grabbed his shirt. Now, ya'll can pretty much tell I am a super nice chicka.. I don't like messin with people... Not a mean person by nature... But he wants me to buy my own cat back? I DO NOT think so.... I yanked the cat out of his arms and put her inside... I said THIS cat is my childs cat. THIS cat has kittens somewhere. THIS cat is my personal property and I consider you stealing it when you ask me soemthing like that. Are you stealing my shit buddy? He just looked at me.. I stepped out on the porch and closed the door. I shook him and asked again. He said no no ma'm I ain't stealing nothing from you. I am hungry is all. I asked if he planned on eating the cat. He said no just bartering for some cash. I said you can't barter with shit that's not yours.... It don't work that way.

The damn guy teared up and started crying. He said he didn't mean it at all. I am a softie ya know... I said.... I tell ya what dude... You pick up all the trash in this yard and bag the leaves there and I will make you something to eat. Just so happens I have an assload of leftovers from Sunday. He said yes ma'm... Now when I came back I expected him to be long gone. He was picking up trash and leaves(at 12:30 at night no less)... I handed him a trash bag and went to warm up 2 chili dogs and beans. I scooped up some potato salad and a handful of chips and poured him some tea. To my surprise by the time it was done so was he. Did a damn good job. He bowed his head, prayed... I watched him eat it like he hadn't eaten in weeks... HE thanked me for the food(while crying) and said he would not bother me again. But not before telling me I was an angel sent to him. With that he walked away.

Now, I feel like a total bitch. I was ready to club the guy without thinking twice. He said I was his angel..... How weird is that? I don't think anyone has ever told me that before. I wonder if I will see him again. Hopefully he won't be bartering Well, I am calling it a night....

rm_cockmerollme 45F
1223 posts
4/26/2006 12:09 am

I like that.
Good story.

Write more.
love, ckmerlme


JoLeeS 40F

4/27/2006 9:36 am

Lol Mz... I just refuse to be pushed around anymore... I had 10 years of that and never wanna go back to it... I won't lay low while somebody messes with me, kid, family, animals..... I just won't do

patrick8463 54M
124 posts
4/28/2006 10:14 am

Can I have your E-mail address

I will not talk about , dogs,cats,pigs ,or anyones ass hole or come to that , sex in public toilet ,

we can chat about the weather , ( Joke !!)

Patrick XXX

JoLeeS 40F

4/28/2006 12:17 pm

Hey there.... I am afriad if i post it then I will get some weird Can you send me a mail here and then I will send it to ya that way?

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