Infatuation  

JamesBondage1964 52M
12 posts
12/9/2005 8:23 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Infatuation


He loved her completely. He was sure he did. He thought about her whenever his mind wasn't occupied by practical matters. He wanted to possess her, but she was not his to possess. He had never met her husband. She never brought him around. She came to parties alone or with a girlfriend. He loved everything about her. He loved her hair and her body and her voice. It didn't bother him that she was small breasted or that her face bore the scars from teenage acne. He wanted her to love him. He wanted her to think about him and wonder about him when he missed a party. His heart raced when they would have conversations. They would talk about books and authors. They both read Anais Nin and Henry Miller and liked to talk about their erotic works. She would talk about Audrey Hepburn and how wonderful she was and this made him think about a party when she wore that black dress and fixed her hair like Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's. She would talk about Hepburn with such reverence and awe and cast her eyes down when she spoke. This made him love her even more. He knew that if she had been his he would be miserable with jealously, yet he was miserable without her. Damn rumors! Or were they rumors? Tales of her infidelity buzzed in their circle of friends, but she never spoke of them and never seemed affected. Nor did she try to hide her interest in men. She was sometimes seen in public places with men. He hated them because it should've been him, but it never was. Such a relationship surely could not last. It would crumble from the inside. Either she would lose interest in him and his pining or he would have to leave. So he left and regretted it for awhile but the ache eventually subsided. The thought that hurt him the most was that she probably didn't care that he'd left and that she never thought about him or wondered about him. Later he decided that he'd never really loved her at all though he never really fully convinced himself.

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