Curse of the relevant  

Jack619 57M
15 posts
8/6/2005 10:11 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Curse of the relevant


Trying not to whine as much as the last posts, but then I feel I have to say something worthwhile. The problem with a lot of blogs I read is that they're banal and I don't want to be accused of that. On the other hand, I'm still to self-conscious to be as open as the more popular blogs.

So, I'll settle for this, for now. The fellow that writes this weekly summary for Harper's Review is brilliant, summarizing world-wide events in single sentences and conveying a sense of perspective, tragedy and the absurd. Boy, I wish I could write like this:

As the culmination of its $1.4 billion “Return to Flight” effort, NASA launched the Space Shuttle Discovery into orbit. Almost immediately, the shuttle shed pieces of insulation and hit a bird. President George W. Bush watched the launch on a small television and clapped his hands, and NASA grounded all future shuttle flights. Russia offered to send a rich person to orbit the moon in exchange for $100 million. New Mexico announced its first case of bubonic plague in two years. “Plague,” said a New Mexico man who contracted the illness in 2002, “changes your life forever.” The U.S. House of Representatives voted down CAFTA, the Central American Free Trade Agreement, even though it was already approved by the Senate. House leaders then held the vote open for forty-seven minutes until they had changed enough Republican votes to approve the agreement. A study found that 43 percent of the House and Senate members who have left public office since 1998 are registered lobbyists. The Boy Scout National Jamboree was held at Fort A.P. Hill, Virginia. The Senate passed the Support Our Scouts Act of 2005, guaranteeing the Boy Scouts the right to use federal land whether the organization discriminates against atheists and gays or not. The Senate also noted that holding the Jamboree on a military base gave U.S. soldiers the opportunity to practice the “preparation, logistics, and leadership” needed in combat. At the Jamboree four scout leaders were electrocuted while setting up a tent, and three hundred people were treated for heat-related symptoms. In California, a scoutmaster and a thirteen-year-old scout were killed by lightning.

American forces killed eleven Iraqi militants near Iraq's border with Syria, a suicide bomber killed twenty-five Iraqi army recruits northwest of Mosul, a suicide bombing at a Baghdad hospital killed at least five people, and a bomb killed two Britons in Basra. Iraq’s Prime Minister Ibrahim al Jaafari called for the prompt withdrawal of U.S. troops from the country; General George Casey, the top U.S. commander in Iraq, said that troop withdrawal could begin by spring 2006 “if the political process continues to go positively.” King Fahd died. A massive dust cloud thousands of miles across was heading from the Sahara Desert toward the United States, and the Pentagon was stalling to avoid the release of more photographs and videos from Abu Ghraib prison. The videos are said to show young boys shrieking as they are anally . German archaeologists reconstructed a 28,000-year-old stone phallus nearly eight inches in length. There was evidence, they said, that the phallus had been used as a tool. President Bush’s favorite dirty joke was reported to be: “The only time I ever hit two good balls is when I step on a rake.” The Senate went into recess, and George W. Bush appointed John Bolton to be ambassador to the United Nations. The Bush Administration started referring to the War on Terror as “the global struggle against violent extremism,” and Karl Rove received a $4,000 raise.

In New York City, subway crime dropped 23 percent in the wake of random bag searches. Ukraine fired all of its traffic policemen; traffic was not noticeably affected. British police had arrested nineteen people believed to be connected to the London bombings. A huge patch of ice was discovered on Mars, and an object possibly larger than Pluto was discovered beyond the orbit of Neptune. “Someone should have found this before,” said an astronomer. Canada and Denmark were arguing over the claim to Hans Island, an uninhabited one-half-square-mile of land 682 miles south of the North Pole, and ultra-nationalists in Israel held a “pulsa denura” ceremony to call on the angels of destruction to kill Ariel Sharon. An executive at Coca-Cola said that the company would soon start producing a soda that burns calories,and monsoons in India killed at least eight hundred people and scattered the carcasses of seventeen thousand goats around Bombay. Officials in Senegal, concerned about the encroaching desert, were considering a proposal to plant a three-mile-wide, 4,375-mile-long wall of trees. A Nebraska man was charged with having sex with the thirteen-year-old girl whom he had wed legally in Kansas, and a homeless man in Nashville, Tennessee, confessed to strangling two other homeless men. “I got addicted,” he explained, “to sucking the souls out of people.” In Pinetown, South Africa, two little boys found a fetus without legs or a head; police said that they found no animal saliva on the fetus. Kansas police took away, then returned, the left foot of an amputee named Ezekiel Rubottom, who had been keeping his foot in a bucket on a friend's porch. “It’s all good,” said Rubottom. Florida was infested with iguanas, an Australian eel nicknamed Eddie was seen swallowing a goose, and British zoo authorities sent a parrot into seclusion after the bird told two policemen, a mayor, and a vicar to fuck off.

Oh, and according to a recent poll, reported on CNN.com, W.'s popularity has dropped even lower and, for the first time, 50% of those polled say they don't trust him.

Shame, that. What took you so long?

Mccartney2003 38M
281 posts
8/7/2005 2:11 am

To hell with Iraq. If they want it so bad bring our people home and let them fall like Vietnam. If they want to be a shitty national state that's going to fall to loons so be it. That's why we should not give a shit. They hate us for helping them. I never agreed to the war in Iraq anyway. I've lost two friends and a cousin there.
To hell with Iraq.


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