87 posts
9/24/2005 1:54 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


Maybe I spoke too soon.

In my first blog posting I posed the question; about being an AdultFriendFinder member Is it worth it. I spoke of the tremendous disappointment that I had experienced; and shared some of my trials and tribulations. What a difference a few weeks can make! Now I have a new set of problems. What does a person do when presented with a number of serious potential “hook-ups”?

I shared this concern with a friend of mine this morning before I sat down to write this posting. She suggested that I just “Go with the flow”. Hmmm, interesting suggestion but not practical, at least not for me anyway. Going with the flow would mean possibly meeting about a dozen people. That’s just not my style. Sure, I’m always horny; and I’m looking for some action on the side. But, going with the flow is risky, very risk; even if I were single.

So, how do you decide which of these potential “friends” to actually go through with meeting? Almost as important, how do you tell those potential “friends” who you decide not to hook up with that you have decided to meet someone else and not seem like a flake?

Of the dozen replies that I speak of I have exchanged at least two emails with them all. I have had multiple IM conversations with 7 of them and had phone conversations with 5. I reasonably could see myself choosing any of the 7/5 I have had extensive conversations with. But, I only could seriously continue to interact with 1 maybe 2.

I know that there are some veteran AdultFriendFinder members who can give me some advice.

rm_NipplyCanuck 41F

9/24/2005 2:14 pm

Go with what your gut feeling tells you. What was your first impression? and most importantly who do you think you could actually be friends with as well.This will usally narrow down the possibilities

Straycatsetsuko 61F

9/24/2005 3:22 pm

I find a lot of the people here, well, the men who have contacted me, were full of hot air about actually meeting. I'd see who has follow-through.

your_gypsy 51F

9/24/2005 5:46 pm

i can't do that, either. i have a child and discretion in front of him is a must. i tell this to everyone i meet. some pay attention and respect my wishes, some don't and are quite pushy.

i am very frank, but try very, very hard not to be rude. i tell the one or two i have chosen to meet that i will meet them and then go through with it. the others i would still like to consider i tell them i'm in the process of meeting people and will get back to them very soon... if they don't mind waiting, which has been the case with me many times, then i can pick up with them at a later time *unless* i have hit it off with someone in the meantime. in that case, i tell them that i have met someone and i'm sorry ... but i wish them well. most guys i have chosen to go that far with in the preliminaries are gentlemanly about it and don't get crazed. you just have to be nice about it.


9/25/2005 11:22 am

Thank you all for you responses. Gypsy you have given me the greatest insight and best advice. I really hadn't considered "putting people on hold". Thanks again. I'll keep you guys updated as to how things go.

rockwriter58 56M
1389 posts
9/26/2005 6:44 am

Good luck with your progress. As they say, these are good problems to have.

I think gypsy also gives good advice here. My policy is honesty. Folks who are here should know people are here to play (of course, some are out for the serious LTR... and either won't admit it to themselves or won't admit it to you... see: Fiction or Friction?) ans many will understand.

Like you, at one time, I had seven folks lined up here... and really only had time for one or two. But in the process of getting to know them better, I decided almost all of them would have presented problems. (See this entry: Flakes.) But as you note, flakiness can be a two-way street.

So then we go back to politeness and honesty. Good luck with this.


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