Genesis - it all starts at the beginning  

rm_JJandTee 59M/56F
2 posts
7/30/2006 1:41 pm

Last Read:
5/4/2010 7:55 pm

Genesis - it all starts at the beginning

In my early 40's I was with my first wife. I was a successful career person who had made a point of taking weekends off to be with the kids. If you were to tell me what would happen to me as the decade wore on, I would have called you irrational.

But it happened.

I had grown up with a very "Leave It To Beaver" outlook on family life. I was taught that the father went to work, the mother took care of the home (or we both went to work and we both took care of the home, as both my parent worked and set an example of cooperation) and a fairly repressed sex life. By which I mean, it was almost like that famous quote from Richard Burton "suburbia; watch the telly all week and bang the wife Saturday".

I had met my wife when I was 19, two months from turning 20. I was a DJ at a wedding which she attended as a guest with her boyfriend. I guess I should have taken note of the fact that I ended up with her phone number despite her being with a boyfriend. I would pay for not noticing the significance of that many years later.

I threw myself into my own business in my 40's. I became successful at business, but did not notice the growing distance between my first wife and myself. In 1993 I suddenly developed the symptoms of a heart attack; you know, pain in the chest, difficulty breathing, pain up the left arm, dizzy. I asked her to drive me to the hospital. We lived on a country estate that I had bought two years prior, 3.5 acres about 30 minutes from the nearest town with a hospital. She said she couldn't because she had to go to the gym.

Yes, you read that right. I was beside myself with pain, anxiety and confusion. I did the best I could, which was to threaten to call 911 and tell them that she refused to drive me. I figured that would impact the inheritance situation, and she obviously thought the same since she did drive me into town.

I was too ingnorant to know it at the time, but that was the day our marriage ended. I believe marriage is a partnership between two people. And if one side breaks the deal, there is no deal any more, thus no marriage.

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