|Blogs > JDgirl_biatchy > FindOutWhoIAm|
ok its very late.. and Im up thinking.. what Im thinkin about is why I seem to always end up alone. is it a conscious idea? it is karma? is it just meant to be that I have no one in my life right now? or am I just to picky in finding someone to love and be loved by?
is there such a thing as being to picky when trying to find that special someone to make you be more than you thought you could be. someone to make you feel everything that you always wanted to feel about someone besides your family and close friends.
if it is possible to be too picky: who sets the rules? who says that YOU are wrong? why is it soo complicated to find someone to love you for yourself without that person trying to change you?
if it is not possible to be too picky: how do we find that someone? where do we look? where do we search? how many almosts and maybes do we have to go through before we find that person?
if we have to go through wrong ones to find the right one: why does it hurt so much when the wrong one leaves? why do some of us stay with wrong ones even though everyone we know is trying to tell us they are wrong for us?
what insecurities does humanity have that makes us soo complicated? how, in the midst of all that insecurity seem to want adn yearn for that special person?
is it because we are destined to be with that person? or is it because society has taught us that we should all be onepart of a pair to be whole? why is being ok with yourself ALONE not part of the overall plan?
I, personally, believe that we are meant to go through this world and life with a partner, someone who watches out for us and we watch out for. someone that loves us as much as we love them. some, single, person that makes you feel like you are the most important person on the planet and you do the same for them.
I do NOT believe that it is necessarily a man with a woman that makes this couple. if you find anyone, and I mean ANYONE that makes you feel like what I have described, you had better stay close and stay connected. In the words that I like the most, grab on and never let go. fight for that relationhip no matter the trials, no matter the troubles, because you may NEVER get it back if you loose it.
I have never known that feeling, sadly as that is. I am 34 almost 35 and I can honestly admit that I dont think I have ever been truely,madly, deeply in love with anyone outside who I consider my family.
to me that is a very sad admittance, but I have hope, faith, and my belief that it IS out there.. somewhere.. waiting for me to find and hold forever.
if you think you have found that person... my advice.. tell them, and see where it leads you. It might just lead you to the best thing you have ever had, or will ever have.