It Only Takes One...  

Iwakura16Eyes 37F
603 posts
6/9/2006 11:19 am

Last Read:
6/10/2006 5:02 pm

It Only Takes One...

indeed, it only takes one person to make me realize things all too well sometimes. I AM VERY HARD ON MYSELF. Seriously.... and I realized this last night while I was having some of the best sex I have ever had in my life (well, afterwards--I couldn't even move for awhile *blushes*) Why, you *might* be asking, did I realize this? because it took me an hour and a half to relax myself at all. Not to mention--I used to being the dominating one--not in a sense like a dominatrix, but I am used to taking the lead with things. I couldn't last night--I just couldn't... I got spoiled VERY MUCH... and I enjoyed every second of it. It was SO wonderful to receive.... I cannot wait to give.... (I always give, but this will be especially nice

you are right, my dear pal---I do need to raise the hell out of my standards. I'm learning through every experience I have here that the biggest asshole in my life is ME. I suppose I should admit that I never aimed higher out of fear and insecurity. The insecurity is being washed away by something else. I pity those that have to deal with it. That other woman you saw last night is starting to come out more n more. I like her--I think I'll keep her.... she's sassy... perhaps I was always worried about letting my confidence shine for fear of being regarded as an asshole, but dammit--I am a significant to myself... and that bloody well counts for something...

in the wake of some pretty bad shit lately, I find myself feeling incredibly and surprisingly good in the process. In the past week, I have been devastated by my ex's behavior and attitude towards me and I have also felt a twinge of what I think is rejection from a guy I had a serious interest in (like--I wanted to date him). I have felt like shit, but from 10pm-3am EST...? I felt like the highest queen in the world.... I dun think I realized another person could make me feel like that.

hfs... THANK YOU A THOUSAND TIMES....

but yanno what? it's funny... if I could have stayed overnight--we'd have both been in trouble at work the next day... lol if you hadn't gotten up and gotten dressed n all, I might have tried again... and prolly some more *giggles*


ProtonicMan 47M

6/9/2006 8:13 pm

Wow. Somebody got a dose of confidence! He (or was it a woman???) must have been a helluva guy (gal?).

Sassy is good. Do I sense a change in you from previous posts? You always seemed to me to have a fire smoldering inside, but you wouldn't let it burn freely. It looks like I'm seeing some flames licking out here. Is it here to stay?

"If I could have stayed overnight..." What, you were kicked out?!?! What kind of a creep does that to someone after she "was having some of the best sex I have ever had in my life?" I hope you can extract vengeance on this person!

"if you hadn't gotten up and gotten dressed n all, I might have tried again... and prolly some more" This makes you sound like a horny little minx. Are you?

TJ


Iwakura16Eyes 37F

6/9/2006 10:15 pm

    Quoting rm__6pack_:
    Good for you I say. I'm actually on the flipside of that, to an extent. I know I'm very hard on myself, the thing is I think that there are areas I need to be harder on myself. I'm very concerned that my personality might be the destruction of my realtionships, even though it is the thing that most women seem to fall for in the early stages... I need to be so much more vigilany of the negative effects I think I have. I want to be at that place you're at!
your personality concerns sound very much like my own. or it could be that we both blame ourselves for everything--even when perhaps we are not at fault. It's part of beating yerself up about everything, no?


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