I Cheat for A Reason-What is your Reason if you know?  

Infidelityisme 50F
23 posts
12/13/2005 9:56 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

I Cheat for A Reason-What is your Reason if you know?

That’s right I am a cheater, a beloved infidel by my husband, I doubt that, would be revered and respected by my two great kids, I would be a shameful mother and a despicable wife to their father. The lingering question would be why, why would you do something like that. How could you do something like that, it is unthinkable.

At twenty-four I was pretty naïve and had two men prior to meeting my now husband. I had heard about orgasms but never had one. How can you really pine for something you have never truly known about? As the years went by, and as women talked I got pretty damn curious about this thing called an orgasm, the vaginal, the clitoral, the ultimate toe curling type. What the hell is this I thought, and knew damn well I was missing something that all of my friends thought was pretty damn important to a meaningful relationship. Yet, I was not having this experience, albeit my desire and curiosity was overcoming my loyalty and devotion to an otherwise great husband. Maybe although not so great because to this day he won’t even try, sex is all about his ass, his rocks, and I should be able to cum when he gives me an at most ten minute fuck. I think not!

Ten years went by and I remained faithful I didn’t allow my sexual frustrations to get in the way of my life, I had learned how to get off by masturbating which a good friend taught me, it wasn’t the greatest orgasm, but better than none at all. I would do it right after my fast Freddie fuck husband went to sleep after the bastard asking, well, baby was that good for you too ugh? I would tell him, no it wasn’t how can we work on you getting me off, and the sonofabitch told me that was my issue and I would have to deal with it and he really didn’t want to discuss it, off to sleep he’d go.

My husband is a good provider, he does well in business and is very successful if making money makes one successful. At thirty-three I got a job with the company I work for now and my sister is our nanny, she is paid well, and the kids are fine. Fine as possible and loved, but life is too damn short to live for your kids once they are past thirteen years of age, the nipple so to speak has to be taken away from the ever hungering needy mouths.

Four years ago while on an assignment in Toronto I met a man at a health club I visited, after working out we went our for drinks. Damn, this guy understood what a frustrated woman was and was very intelligent and caring. The next time I got to Toronto I called him and asked him out for dinner. Afterwards, he and I fucked all night and I had multiple orgasms like I had only heard and dreamed about, this was what I had been missing? I wanted to kick myself in the ass, hard!

When I got home I asked my husband out of the bedroom if we could go to a sex therapist or do something as I needed to have orgasms when we fucked. He was curt and told me that was my problem. That before me, all his women had not complained, so he knew it wasn’t his problem, okay shut me off you bastard, we have kids and you make ten times what I make, I will fuck on you until they are grown then I thought, you asshole you-are going to take the proverbial hike out of my life forever! And for my time I will get half of all you got and you will pay the kids college and my alimony-That is what selfish uncaring asshole accrue from wronged women who really do try. And I will get just that should I live so long to enjoy it. In the meantime, I want to get my rocks off real good, and insatiable I cannot get enough, (making up for lost time?) That is why I am trying this site.

That is exactly why I fuck around, now what is your reason? I know that every now and then on here I will get a response from a man who is not some pathetic loser who couldn’t get laid in a whorehouse, or is some pervert or braggart who has so damn much to offer and hasn’t shit going for him in any way whatsoever. I will now and then and probably not too often get fucked by a man who can meet my requirements and who can fuck and suck me the way I like it, because fellow women, I am not settling for a pervert or loser who just wants to get his dick wet. Can you ladies spot their responses the second you read the first words they write? I bet you can and are probably faster at the delete button then me, give me time I am just warming up on that delete thing-lol!

The point of this literary exercise: Why do you cheat if that is what you are doing, all single people are exempt of course, you all are merely looking for a good fuck and perhaps in so doing will find him or her for your life mate, maybe that is it, I don’t really know. So Cheaters –Why do you fuck around-have a reason or are you just that kind of person with no valid reason, I’d like hearing from you.

rm_CDRoss 34M
655 posts
12/13/2005 11:08 pm

Well, personally I had never cheated, so I don't really have an answer of my own to your post. (Do not worry... not taking a high and mighty stance - just explaining my lack of an answer. But, I did think yours was a great write-up, and felt I should leave some words.) I cannot begrudge you your reasons, and I do think he is wrong in saying it is your problem alone - for your problems should be his as well.
Have you tried anything like offering a threesom? A few of my female friends (not "with benefits") have said there's nothing like a woman's touch sometimes. Not sure what your stance on that would be - just offering suggestions.

Mrtribent 48M

12/13/2005 11:11 pm

Me and my wife both see others from time to time as a means of spicing up our relationship, we can learn new tricks and the experience can often be very arousing. Of course we probably don't count as cheaters since we have a mutually agreed upon arrangement. I am sorry to hear that your husband is not willing to learn what it takes to please you, My wife has a difficult time having orgasms and early on in our relationship I was a little accusatory toward her because I knew that other women I had been with orgasmed pretty easily. I can kind of understand how he feels but he really should be willing to learn how to please you. Not all women cum easily, the thing is if you are with a woman who has difficulty and you take the time to learn her, she will appreciate you all the more. I am sorry to hear that your man isn't willing to put forth the effort. You really need to get others to help validate your point to him. I bet if he understood that it is HIS problem, he would be willing to put in a lot more effort.


GuyWhoListens2u 56M
325 posts
12/14/2005 6:15 am

It seems that a lot of people end up cheating because they are married to someone who is selfish. It sucks commiting yourself to someone who has no interest in pleasing you.

I found that no matter how comitted we are, being denied or starved long enough will change how any person sees food.

rm_Wwwunderlust 56M
2 posts
12/14/2005 7:53 am

Well, I have a similar situation.

I'll make this really short. My wife engages in sex with me about twice a month. In a good month she actually enjoys it at least one of those times. The other times its just a wifely chore for her. In between there are a long list of reasons to not be intimate with me. The rejections just tear me apart. I have no self esteem. I am not even desirable by my wife!

Why do I cheat, because I need to feel validated as a viable, healthy sexual man. I met a woman who truely enjoys our time together and for the first time in 10 years I feel like a real man!

OutgoingMale4 53M
18 posts
12/14/2005 9:33 am

I agree Wwwunderlust, my wife is similar. She also feels it's a wifely chore. To her having sex is I'll get you off, then get off, I'm going to sleep now. Sure just having sex sometimes is good, but I would rather make love. Going slow, exploring each others body and building the excitement... to me these are important aspects of reaching "Joint" orgasms. Knowing you're both exploding at the sametime is quite a feeling. Since i lack this at home, yes, I cheat. When I meet someone here on AdultFriendFinder, I'm not looking for a one email response, meet and fuck situation. I'm looking for someone who wants to get to know each other, learn what turns each other on and then go from there. I guess I'm more about quality than quantity. And I do enjoy learning different techniques that work with different women, who knows, maybe one of these new found tricks will help change my wife's outlook.

phangasm2003 106M

12/14/2005 10:38 am

I was the same, though I was naive at 33, when I got married. I just wasn't honest with myself about what I wanted. She's very conservative, strictly missionary and a BJ about every other year. I had lots of fantasies about what I wanted to do but had decided that they were never going to happen, so I gave up - big mistake, I just wasn't trying hard enough. So that's definitely my fault. There are personality conflicts, though. She would like to wear the pants and has a knack for pushing my buttons, and face it, it's hard to have good sex with someone you don't like very much. So we fuck about once a month, but it's just another household chore for me.

rm_jandh4340 45M/35F

12/14/2005 11:14 am

Well I guess I do for the excitement of soemthing new. I have a great sex life with my gf but I always liek the feel and taste of another woman. So for me that is why I do it.

dcos 55M

12/16/2005 10:20 am

i joke that my wife gave up sex for lent and forgot it was only suppose to be for a month. But that is exactly what happened. OK im ready for the bashing i will get from many of my counterparts about getting a life and leaving her.

As of today it has been over 5 years since my wife and I have not just had sex but even been intimate. This is really born from a horrible self image in her part and a complete disgust of the comcept of counseling in whatever form you want to try.

For me the idea of continuing with the balance of my life without sex is rediculous. Do i want to destroy my sons life and give half of what i have earned to my wife because she has huge issues. No that may happen anyway, however unlike you my wife has not worked a day in the last 14 years, she has never had a restriction on what she could spend and has honestly had so few real stresses on her that she has no concept of the real world. My fault ...yes probably.... the concept of marraige being a permanant thing is hard for me to break.... life was never meant to be easy or fair.... better than what you and i have experienced probably....

It all comes down to choices.... Cheating on my wife has been driven by the desire that all humans have to want the excitement and the catharsis of sexual interaction. Honestly to not have the ability to not only experience that excitement but to help someone else experience that would leave me empty and hollow. Not a feeling i like

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