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Why no photo?
Why no photo?
Hi, I’m new here, and feel compelled to explain my reasons for not posting a photo. It’s certainly not for lack of trying. Three times I bought one of those convenient new disposable cameras, snapped some particularly alluring self-portraits, opened this home page on my laptop, carefully placed the little cardboard box on the keyboard and slammed the lid. Three times nothing happened. Apparently my “plug and play” isn’t working properly.
Please don’t conclude that I’m digitally challenged, for nothing could be further from the truth. My IPod overflows, from the complete recordings of Robert Johnson to the latest from the White Stripes. I’m also an active E-mailer who has recently made friends with a number of Nigerian bankers, and I’m confident something called “webcam” will soon resolve my lack of photographic presence here. Just this morning a 19-year-old-co-ed offered to introduce me to the technology.
And for the record, the aforementioned laptop is a carefully researched upgrade from its Neanderthal predecessor. In the old days, a crash by “The Dell From Hell” meant I had to hold down the power button until all the lights went out, wait ten seconds and then start over, often with loss of valuable data. Now when crashes occur, my system shuts down on its own, reboots, reassures me that it has recovered from a serious error, and then automatically sends Bill Gates a report on the problem. So you see, you’re not dealing here with digital idiot, and I’m confident I’ll get this photo thing handled.
Meantime, let me just describe myself the old-fashioned way…in words. I’m 6’3”, 210 pounds, blue-eyed and brown/gray haired, though the hair thing is minimal. As it began to gray and recede, I decided one day to set the adjustable shaver on 5 and just have at it. In combination with the gray close-cropped gray beard and mustache, I think the effect is somewhat Sean Connery-esqe, though it may be closer to George Carlin.
I have a fair thatch of chest hair, some of it also graying, accenting highly erogenous nipples. (C’mon, guys, admit it, we like to have ‘em sucked too…most of us just aren’t comfortable enough with our manhood to admit it!) And speaking of manhood, thanks again to my already-documented prowess in the E-mail category, mine is expanding nicely and should be significantly “enhanced,” perhaps by the time you finish reading this profile.
I have six-pack abs somewhere under there, and I’m actively Bowflexing away the love handles to make myself more attractive to that special someone. But enough about the shallow aspects of physical appearance; I’m all about inner beauty, and am seeking the same in a friend.
Thanks to another round of electroshock treatments, I’m a confident and secure individual working hard to get through the recent changes in my life and start over again…or perhaps just keep going the way I am. Faith is important to me, though I’m not particularly fond of the beliefs of Protestants, Jews, Catholics, Moslems, Hindus, Indus, Buddhists, Nudists, Taoists, Maoists or Mormons. Politics interest me, but no Republicans please. And I’m big on biker chicks.
I’m as comfortable in jeans and a sweater as I am dressed up in stylish jodhpurs and a flashy vest for a drive downtown, swinging my light saber at the surprised citizenry through the sunroof a pink Hummer.
I love all kinds of animals…nothing is more satisfying to me than popping in a movie and snuggling on the couch with my assortment of dogs and cats, or getting together with my Eskimo friends for a day of clubbing baby seals.
I’m not a wild kind of person, though I did once know a guy whose idea of fun was to sit on the deck and take hits off a bottle of nitrous oxide, then mow down back yard trees with a 50 caliber machine gun. I never did that, you understand, I just knew the guy.
I’m not interested in one-night stands, cybersex unless it’s really intimate, or anything kinky except once in a while I like to put on hip boots and boink the neighbor’s Ukrainian midget catalogue bride. (They have an open relationship.)
Mostly I’m just an ordinary guy looking for an ordinary gal with similar interests. Serious inquiries only, please.
11/28/2005 11:49 am
My Home Page [post 135712]|
yu are a youngster...lol
I dont put up a pic either, but I do let those in my network see me... I did a Post about how these cameras always take awful pics of me.... yep blame the camera...
Blogging is great, or perhaps yu are an expert? even if yu are or not.. then the bloggers group is a good place to get some hints and tips.... bloggers of this friendly site...
Hope you have fun in the land of Blog.
You arrived just in time for the Christmas festivities,
so have a great one, when it arrives....
There is a bloggers group on here,
if you are interested. Its a forum for any blogging
problems. I found it very helpful, as this was the first time I had opened a Blog.
- See the link here bloggers of this friendly site It has been around since
blogs were set up on this site....
and they are a great bunch of people.... great blogs, great bloggers and
a great sense of fun and humour.
Do Have fun.
Theres lots of great stuff on here.....
My Home Page [post 135712]
a member of bloggers of this friendly site
11/28/2005 12:07 pm
HowOld - Welcome to blogland! Oh my gawd, that is one of the funniest posts I've read in weeks. Thank you so much for the laughs this afternoon. My cheeks hurt (yeah, the ones on my face! ).|
Again, thanks and welcome!
11/29/2005 12:38 pm
Hey Lusty...I'm glad my post made you laugh. I hope that puts at least one of my feet on the "giver" rather than the "taker" side of the line.|