I Suck!!  

HotTXpussy4U 48F
2177 posts
4/6/2006 3:32 pm

Last Read:
5/4/2006 5:05 pm

I Suck!!

Well, that too - but THAT is not what I'm talking about.

Sometimes I think I am the most rotten person in the world. With all the confidence that I exude, I have no balls. Not really. When it comes to giving bad news, confrontations, letting a good guy down easy - - I SUCK!!!

Even with all the blogs about "bad dates" that I have done, I know I rarely write about the good ones. And the last few guys I've met, have been good dates. Nothing happened on the level that this site expects... but good meals, good conversation and good guys are hard to come by.

Do the good guys always finish last?? Well, since I don't juggle well - someone always has to be the loser.....dont' that suck?? YES!!!

So, how do you do it? How do you tell a good guy - that he's just not it. The spark is not there...not in the way that they would like? I find that guys are generally more interested in me than I am them. GOD, does that sound bad or what? I didn't mean it that way..but I do seem to fit what most guys are looking for. Independent, adventurous, sports nut, flirty and feminine, love to joke around.

They like me - THAT WAY... but I don't feel the same way. So - - what do I do to end it???? Nothing... I chat less and less, respond less and less....I guess hoping that they will just stop. Lots of "we will just see what happens", etc. Exit Stage Right...

The few times I've been upfront and honest..right there, face to face - - oh, not a pretty sight. Emails and IM's don't work either...seems they always have to have the last 10cents worth of words.

I realize by putting this out there - now everyone knows what a coward I am. Hell, I admit it..and would like to figure out a better way to handle this situations...the last thing I want to do is hurt a good guy's feelings. But I don't want to lead them off in a direction that I have no intention of going.

SO - I guess I'm asking all the good guys out there...how is it that you want to be told that "You're a nice guy, but I don't see/feel anything other than us just meeting tonight". (if I said this, I'd just want to turn and walk away - I DON"T WANT TO DISCUSS IT) Do you want to know right then and there, in the parking lot...or would you prefer a phone call?

If I am ever going to improve on this matter - then I need to find my balls and just do it. But who better than my blogger friends who don't judge me, to ask??

I'm viewing it like a bandaid that's been on for a few days... do you rip it off quickly OR slowly that the hairs don't get yanked, but you still feel the sting?

OUCH - gotta feeling I'm gonna get some "opinionated" comments....let's bring it and get it over with...LOL


bedroomice2003 43M

4/6/2006 3:52 pm

The really good guys will understand that no two people want the same things and will try not to let it get to them personally. I'd say to let them know as early as possible and don't let the other parts of their personality that you do like cloud your judgement. I respect a woman much more if she tells me on the first date that I'm not her type rather than getting emotionally invested after two or three more dates. And be prepared for the fireworks (and not always the good kind). Sometimes a man's ego will get the better of him.

handyrandy1963 53M

4/6/2006 4:22 pm

Heres a tip from someone who knows, The thing that I appreciate most is honesty. I have been in past relationships that weren't going to work. and went along (Bad idea) Maybe I was thinking that I wouldn't meet any one else. Do men settle? absofuckinglutely! (I think that this statement applies to some women too). If I am not the right one for somebody I like it if a woman is up front. I might be dissapointed But after all the world is full of women. people know what works for them, I know I do.I has to be a two way sreet.

norprin5 55M

4/6/2006 4:41 pm

rip off the bandaid!

i would definitely want to know right away...and tell me why, if you can...'cause if there's somethin' wrong with me that i'm not seein'...ya know what i mean?

...um...so this means you don't want me hanging around across the street anymore? i suppose the flower bed under your window is out too, huh? *sigh*

k...see ya...

*shuffles sadly off down the sidewalk...*

King Nor XVIII

docdirk 47M

4/6/2006 5:50 pm

Obviously, you don't suck! Instead, you are a very conscientious person who doesn't like to inflict emotional pain of any degree on someone else. It's hard to be like that, but the alternative is worse.

When I was younger, I definitely would have preferred to be let down easy. But, I truly have no balls when it comes to such things. Now, a little bit older (but even less wiser) I'd opt for the quick swat. There's no wondering; "what did I do wrong?" "How can I make it better?" "Can I make it better at all?" "What's she thinking now..." The list is endless and forever swirling in the back of your mind. The quick boot might sting, but the discomfort ends as quickly as it arrives!

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

rm_hockeyfanguy 44M

4/6/2006 5:51 pm

As a guy trying to get your attention (I'm in your network), I would appreciate the bluntness. We're all multi-tasking here, and not all connections lead to much of anything. The best we can do is not waste anybody's time. It doesn't take long during the first date to decide whether we want another one. And guys, being hunters-gatherers, will keep hunting until you tell them to stop. And telling them to stop is better in the long run than giving them false hope.

As for why, it's not always easy to answer that question - you just know things aren't clicking, sparks aren't flying. It doesn't matter why.

So, I'd like to ask you out. What do you say?

FunintheSun1966 50M

4/6/2006 8:40 pm

Hello there... Lets see.. do you want my opinion ..hummm.. hah.. well your going to get it anyway.. Be blunt.

I have to wonder the fundamental reason we are all on AdultFriendFinder. If you are looking for a soulmate, marriage, or lifelong partner by surfing "who's online with pictures", I would say you need to see your therapist. Finding an intelligent, nice, 'good', friend with personality on here who knows how to throw it down at some point, well... that you can do. Your chances are excellent if you know how to weed out all the rest of the BS. So as long as you keep your expectations in line with the purpose of meeting people on the website, and keep your own ego in check; I would say only a man with a fucked up ego himself would not appreciate rapid notice if the attraction is not there..

I like you. You know that. but I have to say.. If you don't juggle well.. then don't try too. You will spend way to much time writing emails, chatting, etc.. we all have too little time for that. But don't jump to quick decisions before you have had a long deep kiss..

gnr8nrg 45M

4/6/2006 9:33 pm

Hi HotTX Being a former "nice guy" I'd say let us know. I pinned for a woman while another one came to my house and jumped in bed with me. I told her NO SEX, just sleep. I was a fucking idiot. I wanted both women, but the one I was pinning for was the nice one. Nothing ever happened with her, and I've ALWAYS regretted not having fun with the other one. So the moral of the story? Oh wait, I've lost my morals.
P.S. I just put this in my profile today.
I'm the nice guy, but I've never finished last. I'm too competitive.

HotTXpussy4U 48F

4/7/2006 8:36 pm

THANK YOU - - ALL OF YOU.... I do appreciate your thoughts, emails and advice. As you can tell..the whole thing bothers me - and I am trying to do "the right thing"...just frustrating.

SO - OFF WITH THE BANDAIDS, let the bleeding begin!!!

Kisses to ALL! {=} {=}

SirMounts 102M

4/30/2006 12:09 am

Well, the sexual strategy of women has always tended more toward being selective, while with Men, the tendency is more toward seeking variety. Given that, Men would tend to be attacted to more women, and women, to less Men.
Ah, but beyond that, no one can truly know all the mysteries of the heart.
Um...except for Me, that is. *winking*
I really like your blog, HotTXpussy4u. *smiling*

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