To Judge or Not to Judge?  

HotLilSouthAngel 48F
232 posts
12/18/2005 8:32 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

To Judge or Not to Judge?

Who are we to judge? Are we not the peers of other mere mortals standing before some higher power? When we judge do we know the person in which we have deemed judgeable? Have we heard both sides of a story? Is the viewpoint we heard the correct interpretation of the person?

Recently, in fact, today I was reading blogs of some of the fellow bloggers on AdultFriendFinder. I came across an interesting blog in which a blogger appears to be upset with members of AdultFriendFinder for not treating a friend of his as he felt the friend should be treated. I commend the blogger of supporting his friend, however, must the support come in the form of a judgement? Did the friend portray the COMPLETE story, or did the friend merely highlight facts in which he deemed necessary for his blogging friends to know? Had the friend been promised something or in fact led astray by this lady? Had she somehow been his only light at the end of the tunnel or were there many tunnels? I was unsure from reading the blog, but I did get the distinct point that this particular blogger felt the lady was an ignorant bitch that preyed on vulnerable members of AdultFriendFinder. He further felt the lady was a fake. My inquiring mind was interested in knowing if in fact this blogger knew the person in which he judged? Had he spoken to her? Did he have a personal relationship with her in which he knew the lady? Had he attempted to befriend her so he could understand her life and what she was dealing with at the present? It appeared he did not and in fact I surmised he only had received one version, one viewpoint of the scenario as it had played out. I find it interesting that peers on AdultFriendFinder can sit and judge others. For if you judge, are you not just as bad an individual as the one you sit and judge? Is there some unknown ranking in which one can sign up to become a judge? Do you need tenure on AdultFriendFinder or acceptance by certain bloggers in order to be deemed an appropriate judge? If so, where do you sign up? Is there a secret list?

Being a person that tries to realize we all have our lives, our reasons, our needs and our limitations, I do not try to judge others. For I realize, I rarely would or will walk in their shoes. Even if I did, would my interpretation not be skewed by my own emotional complex of which my being hosts? Of course, to each his own and those that feel they must judge or form opinions based on one viewpoint of a scenario, then more power to them. I however, lean to the point of allowing everyone to live and let live. For I do not know what encompasses decisions at times that others make, I don’t pretend to understand. It is not for my understanding. I support my friends just as this gentleman did but in a different way. I always try to realize if the friend correctly interpreted what was happening and what was being said. For I am a mere mortal, filled with my share of mistakes, flaws, wrong-doings and complex life events. I prefer to allow others to be who they are for the reasons in which life has provided to them. Life, our environment, chance and individuality make us who we are. To judge another is not for me, it is neither my will nor desire to determine if another person is an ignorant bitch. Isn’t it all in the eye of the beholder?

rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
12/19/2005 12:34 am

Ouch! I guess I know which post you are talking about and you know that I have appointed myself the head judge.

This is something I thought months about before doing. There have been occurrences within just the Blog community where people have been mistreated by the same person sometimes using a new profile.

I see your point but I still don't think I can stand by and do nothing when I see friends and acquaintances get emotionally abused by liars and manipulators even if I don't always have the first hand proof to determine the truth.

Trust me this is the last thing I wanted to do because it will end up giving me nothing but grief. It's just not my nature to stand by if someone is abusing someone else.

I don't feel comfortable hearing that men send emails to women on this web site calling them every foul name they can think of just because she chose not to have sex with them. To me that is wrong and they should be accountable for what they said and I think others should know what type of person they are so they don't fall for their lies trying to convince other women they are a decent guy when they have demonstrated that they are a creep.

Another example is a man who pretends to be single when they are really attached and they lie to a single woman looking for a long term relationship. Personally I think that type of lie is nothing but the most malicious use of another person and should not be tolerated.

My feeling is that it is wrong to maliciously use or manipulate others and I can't in good conscience just stand by and do nothing.

I think it is also wrong to be excessively rude to someone without provocation. I will require a description of what happened and will have to make a judgment call to determine if I should be big brother in each case. If it isn't clear then I won't list them. I hope to avoid listing anyone involved in a he said she said argument.

This responsibility was not something I wanted but it wasn't something I could ignore either. To let people continue to hurt people with their words or worse yet their actions and do nothing as they go on the hurt others seems wrong.

I hope my decision to do this doesn't ruin our possible friendship. I wouldn't be much of a man if I didn't though. I will take what you have said into consideration and I do intend to get both sides report on what happened when possible.

S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo

MillsShipsGayly 51M

12/19/2005 7:03 am

There is a Secret List ...... held by

Am sorry to see your moods on these two posts. People make mistakes, forgiving them is divine.

WIshing you a merry xxmas and a great new year !

zorgnot2 60M

12/19/2005 8:53 pm

Written like an Angel, Angel.
How can I remove the splinter from my fellow human's eye when I haven't removed the log from my own?
You cannot separate the just from the unjust and the good from the wicked;
For they stand together before the face of the sun even as the black thread and the white are woven together.
And when the black thread breaks, the weaver shall look into the whole cloth, and he shall examine the loom also.
By our own judgement are we judged.
Paraphrased from ones wiser than I could hope to be.

rm_capone1946 70M
2 posts
12/21/2005 9:00 pm

unless some of you are alien we are all human thus having emotions.Emotions is as diverse as the planet.there are women on here that play on guys emotions and guys that do the same thing.every body uses every body,the problem happens when it becomes abusive.if you dig deep within yourself you will realize this true.all of our thoughts and actions is self serving to many a what extent you use a person or persons is not always determine by you.some people like to be used,some take on all of this is the title of this site;AdultFriendFinder.i guess the word adult needs some defining for some thoughts,Peace.

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