HUMPty DUMPty  

HotLilSouthAngel 47F
232 posts
12/6/2005 6:00 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

HUMPty DUMPty

Since it is quickly approaching Hump Day, and my life seems to be shattering like a broken egg shell around me revealing my soul to be tossed to the frying pan, I am reminded of a Nursery Rhyme. A whyme that reminds me of my life slowly falling to pieces and out of my control. It’s disappointing to live life when it appears you just seem to be in a funk, appearing endless. The proverbial light at the end of the tunnel is flickering like a candle that is out of wick. Days like this week have provided make me want to bury my head in the sand and not come out until the tide ebbs and I no longer feel a swimmer that cant come up for air. I feel Im flailing aimlessly with water forcing me down as if an anchor were tied around my ankle. Am I the Titanic, with no place to go but down? As I sink my nursery rhyme rings in my head. It is Humpty Dumpty and unfortunately equinox day is loosing its glimmer. I have my own version, similar to the old well known version. My version goes something like this:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a crappy fall.
All of Humptys family and all of Humptys friends
Couldn’t put Humpty back together again.


Have you ever wondered who this guy is that takes the proverbial fall? Sure, you know the answer. You’ve seen pictures of this egghead since you were old enough to fall out of your crib. But long ago this riddle stumped many a medieval minstrel. “Humpty Dumpty” was street talk for a short, clumsy person with scrambled brains. Today we’d call Mr. Dumpty a nerd, a dork, a geek, an egghead or something equally unflattering. Again, reminding me of myself.

“Humpty Dumpty” is thought by many to reference King Richard III, the hunchbacked monarch. At the Battle of Bosworth Field, he fell from his steed, a horse he had named “Wall” (as dramatically rendered in Shakespeare’s play “Richard III”: “A horse! A horse! My Kingdom for a Horse!” Richard was surrounded by enemy troops in the battle, and was butchered on the battlefields. His body was hacked to pieces. Hence the final part of the rhyme: “All the King’s Horses and All the King’s men couldn’t put Humpty together again!”

Other nursery rhyme scholars (is there really such a thing?) believe that it mimics the Roman Empire. Romans used a war machine called Testudo. The Romans often used this predecessor to the modern tank to cross moats and climb over castle walls. As the story goes, the British army was trying to conquer a castle with a moat, but they had no way to get over the wall, so decide to construct a Testudo. During the night, while the British army was working, the opposing army widened the moat. The next morning when the British attacked, their valuable machine plummeted from the wall into the moat. This failure is why the Testudo was the only Roman warfare technology not widely used by the British Empire. Humpty Dumpty refers to both the look of the machine (it gets its name because it looks like a tortoise) and also to the noise the wheels make as the machine moves forward. This Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, All the King’s Horses and All the King’s men, Couldn’t put Humpty together again. The rhyme works perfectly.

Many others believe this nursery rhyme relates to Charles I, who was beheaded. There are many theories to this nursery rhyme. I could go on for days with theories, but I digress. I simply know one thing; today, this rhyme reminds me of myself and my life. So the moral of this story:
It is not easy being an oval.

Keep it bent south,

HotLilSouthAngel


AnEnigma517 59M

12/6/2005 8:25 pm

That's really amazing... I mean, the imagery in your first paragraph is so vivid that one can imagine the exact same emotions. And the history of a nursery rhyme... something so simple yet so complex. You're right... it ain't easy, and a lot of times I feel like the square peg trying to fit in a round hole. The only thing that keeps me going at those times is believing that sooner or later I will find a square hole!

Don't give up...


rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
12/6/2005 10:33 pm

Hey Lil,

I don't know what to say to you but my heart desperately wants to find and say those words to you. I know you are hurting but I don't know how to reach you.

You are not a nerd, a dork, a geek, or an egghead. From the tiny glimpse I've seen you are an exceptional person that cares and hurts. As Trav said you aren't alone.

I hope you have friends and family to help you through. If you need more friends I'm happy to listen if you need someone to talk to. I know a little about Trav and Nooner, they're good guys and I'm sure they would be willing if you need someone to talk to. Jez probably too.

You are not alone you just need to reach out your hand. Friends won't let you drown or stay broken if you let them in so they can help you. Just see them and reach out you hand.

Who's Waving

I ain't waving babe, I'm drowning
going down in a cold lonely sea
I ain't waving babe, I'm drowning
so babe quit waving at me

I ain't waving babe, I'm crying
I'm crying, oh why can't you see?
I ain't fooling babe, I ain't fooling
so babe quit fooling with me

this ain't singing babe, it's screaming
I'm screaming that I'm gonna drown
and you're smiling babe, and you're waving
just like you don't hear a sound

I ain't waving babe, I'm drowning
going down right here in front of you
and you're waving babe, you keep waving
hey babe, are you drowning too?

oh


~Ric Masten~


S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo
.
~Dante~


rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
12/6/2005 10:39 pm

You don't have to walk alone Lil. Your friends in your world will find you and walk with you if you let them. Reach out to your friends. Make new dreams Lil.

'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' by Green Day

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...



S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo
.
~Dante~


rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
12/7/2005 2:18 am

Sorry, one more song I found posted on saddletrampsk's blog that I thought might be meaningful for you because of the reference to falling apart..

"And every time you fall apart you can hide here in my arms"

We don't know each other well enough for me to be the arms you hide in but I hope you find it in that Utopia you seek. I hope you do have friends you can lean on right now. You can count on at least my friendship whenever you need it.

"Count on Me"

I know that life ain't always good to you.
I've seen exactly what it’s put you through
Thrown you around and turned you upside down and so you
You got to thinking there was no way out
You started sinking and it pulled you down
It may be tough you've to get back up
Because you know that life ain't over yet
I'm here for you so don't forget
You can count on me
Cause’ I will carry you till you
Carry on

Anytime you need someone
Somebody strong to lean on
Well you can count on me
To hold you till the healing is done
And every time you fall apart
Well you can hide here in my arms
And you can count on me
To hold you till that feeling is gone

I wonder why nobody's waiting on you
I'd like to be the one to pull you through your darkest times
I'd love to be the light that finds you
I see a silver lining on your cloud
I'll pick you up whenever you fall down
Just take my hand and I will help you stand

Because you know that life ain't over yet
I'm here for you so don't forget
You can count on me
Cause’ I will carry you till you carry on
Anytime you need someone
Somebody strong to lean on
Well you can count on me to hold you till the healing is done
And every time you fall apart you can hide here in my arms
And you can count on me to hold you till that feeling is
Gone so you can live today
Seems so long to yesterday
Keep on counting on me to carry you till you carry on
Carry on

You know that life ain’t over yet
I’m here for you so don’t forget
You can count on me cause I will carry you till you carry on

Anytime you need someone
Somebody strong to lean on
Well you can count on me to hold you till that healing is done
And every time you fall apart
You can hide here in my arms
And you can count on me to hold you till that feeling is gone
Remember life ain’t over yet
I’m here for you so don’t forget
That you can count on me to hold you till that feeling is gone
Remember life ain’t over yet
I’m here for you so don’t forget
That you can count on me to hold you till that feeling is gone


~Default~


S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo
.
~Dante~


rm_Matchless49 67M

12/7/2005 11:49 am

Isn't it interesting how things like the Bible and nursery rhymes can be so interpreted and the writings of the likes of Nostradamus can be found to be foretellings? Pete - Matchless49


zorgnot2 60M

12/7/2005 8:25 pm

Hopelessness, desolation, isolation, dispair, loneliness.
All feelings that everyone feels sometimes.
Sometimes a lot of times.
I'm no Psychiatrist (and I don't play one on TV), but maybe you should look into talking to one.
Your employer most likely has a program you can use with just one call. And no one needs to know but you and who you talk to.
At least make an appointment with your Physician and ask her if she can do some tests. Maybe it's a hormonal or an electrolyte imbalance.
People are out THERE that care and can help.
In the real world.
Away from this make-believe place where people may be here to help, but not in ways you need.
If you are in any way the way you describe,...
You are depressed. Maybe mildly, maybe severely.
You're a plenty smart person but smarts don't do a dang thing and might make it worse.
You might get out of it over time by yourself. You never see it until it passes and then you can't believe how bad you were.
Been there, done that. And I wouldn't be widowed if wishing alone worked. It can be an ugly climb up from the depths.
A perfect lover might help but it's ultimately up to you to do the things that work for yourself.
Being open to help offered can make life worth living.
IMHO
Namaste
(Ok, I'll shut up and go back and lurk)
Please feel free to delete this. I would.


jockey212 49M  
94 posts
12/10/2005 4:38 am

It is quite unexpected to find such a literate discourse and see how you relate your feelings to a poem and its potential origins. I tip my hat to you! To jump forward to the 20th Century, I think that Kermit the Frog once said, "It isn't easy being green." I think there's a lot to that one statement. I hope you find some holiday cheer...This time of year is often very difficult.


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