The short story of why I am on this thing  

HolliHawt 36F
15 posts
2/27/2006 12:17 am

Last Read:
3/9/2006 5:31 pm

The short story of why I am on this thing

Okay, basically I am here because I have not been on the "scene" in a long time. The gist of it is that I was a member on here a couple years back with my fiance. We never hooked up with anyone or anything like that. It was a lot of fun just messin around.
Unfortunately he became the victim of a homicide in the beginning of 2004. Since then a lot of shit has been confusing for me and I really haven't known where I have stood in this life. I guess you might be able to call it survivors guilt.
I haven't had a boyfriend or anything since that time. Either I am scared or the fact that this person I loved passed away scares others off. That is fine with me however. I seem to have baggage. I am not all depressed about it any more, it still hurts of course.
I am kind of getting old. I have no children. I don't have any prospects of love or even a relationship at all.
Maybe I just need to experiment. I will not go around fucking all kinds of people (but yes, I have had sex a couple of times since he died). Thats for damn sure. But at some point I imagine I will find someone I feel is worthy of giving my "flower" to. So who knows what will be happening in my near future. I suppose that time will tell.

demonicsexkitten 41F
10671 posts
2/27/2006 12:40 am

sorry for your loss.
Best of luck to you.

ninawantsit2 40F
2 posts
2/27/2006 12:43 am

u sound like a good girl and thats what im looking for. me and my fiance is looking for a female to have fun with and hopefully cheer u up. if your interested to talk and see email me at AdultFriendFinder

rm_carpephila 51M
3 posts
2/27/2006 12:44 am

HH - wow, it's great that you got through it all and are back looking for love. Shows real strength. Good luck here.

MrTickleStick4u 41M

2/27/2006 12:52 am

I'm sorry for your loss Holli and i'm glad you've been getting better. Just for the record, i'm not scared and would love to get know you better, lets chat, and btw, thats a very cute pic of ya!!take care and hope to hear from u......

astralcurl 55M

2/27/2006 12:56 am

Hey, good luck.

americanu1979 37M
15 posts
2/27/2006 2:03 am

sorry for your loss, holli. i hope you'll find what you are looking for.

sassybelle21 32F
13313 posts
2/27/2006 2:23 am

I'm sorry to hear about his death. Good luck

elysianpleasure 47M

2/27/2006 4:19 am

I am really sorry about your tragedy... and I can understand wanting to get back out there. Take your time... and I hope you find what you are looking for... Drop by and say hi.. elysian

rm_opus1indy 42M
3 posts
2/27/2006 9:15 pm

Very sorry to hear. I guess I wished I would have read your blog before I blatantly hit on you. Good luck in your search and I hope all is well.

rm_MDEngr 46M

2/28/2006 11:26 am

It is difficult to find someone you trust enough to be as open as you were with him. Being a member on AdultFriendFinder with him shows that you both were honest with yourselves and each other. My deepest regrets for your loss, and hope you find someone who is willing to be honest and open with you as well.

sexywhiteboy07 46M

2/28/2006 2:23 pm

Sorry to hear. You are very beautiful and should have no trouble finding someone. We saw you were in Indy, let us know if you need a friend.

darksmooth8000 34M

3/1/2006 2:17 pm

well im sorry to hear that i understand first hand my father was killed when i was 7 so i feel ya there. Well if you are interested in chatting more just hit me up and maybe we could do lunch or a movie if you interested im on yahoo my name there is chuckyw2004 Later cutie

curioustoo48 59M

3/6/2006 2:29 pm

Life is always throwing something at us, you just got hit hard at a young age. You sound strong though and are carrying your baggage well. It will always hurt though, and that's fine. You probably also have many good memories to bring a smile to your face. You've had a life changing event happen; be patient, be strong, and someone will come along. I believe there's a reason for everything that happens -- we don't know what that reason may be in the present, but it will become clearer in the future. Good luck!

constructionm62 54M

3/24/2006 6:35 pm

you need a sympathy fuckin'?
I live in greenfield, work in Indy.
I'm not bad lookin'. I eat pussy real good.

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