Arkansas Jokes  

HeadToYourToe 63M
20 posts
7/26/2006 4:06 pm

Last Read:
8/21/2009 3:58 pm

Arkansas Jokes

Saw these on another website. You could substitue another place name, but the pronunciation jokes might not make sense.

People in Arkansas...Lord help us..

The owner of a golf course in Arkansas was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Arkansas. If
I were to give you $20, 000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

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A group of Arkansas friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, a hunter returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

"Where's Henry?" the others asked.

"Henry had a heart attack. He's a couple
of miles back up the trail," the hunter
replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" the others wondered.

"A tough call, " nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

**********************************************************************

A wise old man in Arkansas was overheard saying... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Arkansas ."
When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Arkansas because everything happens in Arkansas 20 years later than in the rest of the world.

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The young man from Arkansas came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"

Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?

"The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

*************************************************************

NEWS FLASH! - Arkansas's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two University of Arkansas students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today...
Search and Rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.

****************************************************************

An Arkansas State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-90.
The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

****************************************************************

A man in Arkansas had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.
Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passing driver was so curious he turned around and went back to ask the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell
you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it either."


bardicman 50M

7/26/2006 5:24 pm

Being from Arkansas I should be offended but they seem mostly true.

Oh well, back to screwing my cousin. She is a hottie



I am not dead yet


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