In the Beginning...  

HawtRenoCpl 39M/36F
2 posts
11/7/2005 6:19 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

In the Beginning...

Our decision to open up to this who idea of sharing our marriage began as joking around between the two of us about having a girlfriend over a year ago. Slowly we began to take notice of other women and commented on what we liked and didn't like about them, but it was still sort of lingering joke and not yet a serious consideration.

After we joked around about it for a while, it slowly worked into a "you're joking, right?" sort of conversation. So we started poking off-hand comments here and there to our female friends about it, kinda just feeling for a general reaction to it. We got mixed results for the most part, but honestly I don't think any of them but one would have seriously engaged though.

Finally one night we started into a conversation about whether or not it was a reality. We approached the conversation not as a matter of whether or not it was ok, we skipped that part intentionally. We instead discussed what sort of rules and precautions we would need to take in order to protect our marriage. By the end of the conversation, we agreed that it was feasible to have another woman involved with us, and not affect our marriage. Whether or not it was OK or not was moot at that point.

Now there was some motivation from both behind agreeing to this plan. We have a MAJOR divide in our sex drives. She has a condition called endometriosis. It basically means that she has some open flesh areas in her uterus. Don't worry, it's not contagious at all. What it means for her though, is that sex is commonly an uncomfortable experience for her. He as become quite adept at avoid her areas of pain, but it is just not possible to have perfect, painless sex for her. As a result, she is content having sex about once every 7-10 days. For his sex drive...once a day or more...this poses a problem. For nearly our entire marriage, we have both been in a constant state of frustrating compromise.

Once we did reach the decision to go ahead with the plan, it started off as our partner being there only for sex and nothing more. No emotional attachment at all. After our first week, however, we realized that it's just not fair to ask most women to put their personal and emotional lives just for us to have a sex toy. So we discussed the idea of allowing emotional attachment and how it would affect our marriage. We came to the conclusion that our marriage is strong enough to not have any problems at all with another woman involved. We also know that our marriage is good enough to be appealing to a really good woman who is capable of loving as much as we are.

At this point, we are eagerly searching for a loving woman with a decent sex drive to join us in our marvelous relationship. Our search so far has been long and hard, but we feel we are making progress. In fact, just yesterday we met somebody here on AdultFriendFinder that seems to be pretty interested that we should get along well with. We're both extremely excited to meet her and see how things click when we're face to face. Boy do we hope it works out!!!

rm_cindy359 59F
3 posts
11/7/2005 7:44 pm

My DW (dear wife) and I have been through both types of relationships that you describe here-the no strings GF and the emotional attachment GF. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. First for you , dude....To have an emotional relationship with two women requires more patience and time than you can ever imagine. There will be 2 honey do lists. There will be two women with PMS at the same time (their cycles will sycronize). Two women to remember all those dates (b-days anniversaries etc)...but there is nothing like the love of two women. No strings sex doesn't come close.The sex is so awesome when you have that attachment. One thing to watch for though..women are very very very competitive. Eventually you will see this competitiveness come out. Be prepared to stop it or you will face the consequenses.We actually ended up living with our SO for almost two years. The first month she moved in I lost 15 lbs from the constant sex. So eat your wheaties and get ready for the ride of your life-both emotional and sexually.
For the little easy on the old boy. I am sure he loves you and would not do you wrong. Don't let petty competitive feelings get between you...communicate often more than often. Both opf you need to set ground rules. It was so great-for both of us-to let the emotional sex soak relationship spiral out of control. Luckily when thens took a turn for the worse communication saved us. (we're now married for 25 years).
Finding a good woman for a third is a long hard road. The way it happened for us (on every occasion) was by accident and in real life (not the net). We have been looking for a long time on the net and nothing works out just right. But I know others that have.
I guess my advise would be to keep it as a "no strings" sexual situation. Unless you have the time, the courage and the fortitude to make it happen between 3 people. It ain't easy but the rewards are very good if you make it.

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