The Unexamined Life...Kinda Sounds Nice Right Now  

HardlyYours4Now 52M
951 posts
7/29/2005 11:41 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Unexamined Life...Kinda Sounds Nice Right Now

Hi. I'm in my mid-life crisis. How are you?

Don't you wish you could be that honest? Wouldn't you like to be able to just let it out without fear of judgment or rejection?

No? Just me? oh.

I play piano (more like play AT piano), and just came across the lyrics to one of my favorite Billy Joel songs, "Honesty." I've been struck by the fact that so many of the profiles I've viewed here at AdultFriendFinder say that the writer is looking for someone who will be honest, and how many of the women say they like a man who knows what he wants. They also frequently talk of not being judgmental.

I'm only talking about the women's profiles because I don't hang out in the guys' profiles much - so the same stuff is probably there to some extent.

But how many of the people who write these things are truly being honest? I see married women wanting to find someone on the side (I'm not judging here - just observing; I'm doing the same thing), insisting he be honest. But must be discrete - hubby mustn't find out.

Plus-sized women filter out guys who aren't 'athletic' and insist they want someone who is interested in their heart, not their bra size. I'm not an 'athletic' build, and I also put in size preferences. I met someone recently who was about two body-types off of what their profile said (although that is subjective; no claims are evaluated by the FDA).

When I first signed up a few weeks ago, I wrote an initial bio that was about 80% fantasy. I lied outright to a couple of others in hopes of getting to meet someone. I lied about my marital status because I saw so many profiles that said, "married men - go elsewhere." And I really believed it didn't matter - pretty sure there is a much higher % of marrieds here than the profiles would suggest.

But I've since corrected it. I'm not terribly good at lying, and somehow I would get caught eventually.

So what about the biggest lie - my marriage? That's a hard one. I suspect anything I write here will sound like I'm trying to justify my behavior (not that I would ever be so self-deceptive). And many of the women who might read this would probably not hear much, having highly sensitive BS-meters.

"Honesty is such a lonely word -
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard
But mostly what I need from you."

I may never meet anyone else through this site. Maybe this is just my wacky way of processing the stuff in my life.

Maybe there are a few other people out there who can relate?

rm_thumb54 62M
1 post
7/30/2005 3:22 am

well put i applaud you
and would like to continue the talk

_CoffeeNoCream_ 52F

7/31/2005 2:53 am

"Sex is full of lies. The body tries to tell the truth. But, it's usually too battered with rules to be heard, and bound with pretenses so it can hardly move. We cripple ourselves with lies."

~ Jim Morrison~

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