New Intros  

HardlyYours4Now 52M
951 posts
9/13/2005 1:58 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

New Intros

New starts to classic rock/oldies. Don't try to make 'em fit into the rhythm of the original song; most won't.

Morning has broken -
Got any duct tape?

When this old world starts to getting you down,
That's why there is Welbutrin

I close my eyes,
Only for a moment,
And my exit's passed.

When are you gonna come down?
When are you going to land?
Damn airlines don't care about on-time arrivals anymore.

I can't get no satisfaction -
Customer service ain't in action

Now the seats are all empty -
Guess that hockey strike wasn't such a good idea.

All I wanna do when I wake up in the morning is see your eyes -
Believe me, I don't wanna smell your breath.

Well I'm a-runnin' down the road,
Tryin' to loosen my load;
'Cause I can't afford to fill my tank.

I have tried before to tell her
All the feelings I have for her in my heart -
But I'm a guy, so I end up just suggesting we screw.

I'm hot-blooded
Check it and see;
The doctor tells me
There's a virus in me

When I think about you,
I think about a restraining order.

Well I built me a raft
And she's ready for floating...
Now I need some liability insurance
Just in case it sinks.

All the leaves are brown,
And the sky is gray;
Guess I'll buy a rake
No weekend time to play

Slow down, you move too fast;
I can't push this walker that quickly.

As time goes on,
I realize
Just how much time I've been spending on my blog.

There's something happening here;
What it is ain't exactly clear.
Think I'll just Google it.

Imagine me and you,
I do
I think about you day and night
And watch you through your window.

You say 'yes'
I say 'no'
Now that's a role reversal.

Bet you're wonderin' how I knew
About your plans to make me blue;
I hired a detective three weeks ago.

You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you
'No, that dress doesn't make you look fat.'

Love me tender,
Love me sweet,
My butt's still sore from last night.

So you want to be a rock and roll star?
Then listen now to what I say
Get a really good agent and sell your soul to Satan.

Coming to you, on a dusty road -
{hack} {hack} {wheeze}
Where's my friggin' inhaler?

It's no poetry - but I hope you got a grin.

AlbertPrince 58M

9/13/2005 4:24 am

I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played it til my fingers bled
Now I can't type

I get up in the evening
and I ain't got nothing to say
I come home in the morning
Why am I always this drunk?

Beat on the brat
Beat on the brat
Beat on the brat with a baseball bat
And if you need any further child rearing advice, see my blog Random Musings

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
9/13/2005 4:24 am

I think this is the first time I ever sang along with a blog. Follow the bouncing ball er balls, um, put your pants on Hardly, you're distracting me.

Well I'm a-runnin' down the road,
Tryin' to loosen my load;
What did I do with that Metamucil?

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

Theflinkychick 105F

9/13/2005 7:39 am

Thanks for making me giggle...

Not all who wander are lost.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
9/13/2005 1:58 pm

Hardly, do you take funny little pills before you write these or "Hardly" ever?

HardlyYours4Now 52M

9/13/2005 2:48 pm

saintlianna - Believe it or not, this is just me. Adn the product of living too close to the power lines while growing up.

HardlyYours4Now 52M

9/13/2005 2:49 pm

Albert -

Bryan Adams - how did I miss him? Nice ones.

HardlyYours4Now 52M

9/13/2005 2:51 pm

Daphne -

Not sure whether to laugh or say, "Ewwwwwww!" Okay, I'll laugh. And I think those may have been Albert's balls. He's the one dropping trou these days.

HardlyYours4Now 52M

9/13/2005 2:51 pm

nbtnt & flinky - thank you, and thank you!

HardlyYours4Now 52M

9/13/2005 2:54 pm

saintlianna - Sadly, this is the result of having grown up a little too close to the power lines. And several severe beatings from my older brothers while growing up. The metal plate in my forehead has some magnetic efect on my thought process...I'll be able to explain it better once I graduate from MIT. I suppose I'll need to apply there first, though.

ProtonicMan 48M

9/13/2005 7:33 pm

You are TOOO funny! But, looks aren't HARDLY anything.

Thanks for the grin.


HardlyYours4Now 52M

9/15/2005 3:36 am

Thankee, gents.

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