Hot Sects  

HardlyYours4Now 52M
951 posts
9/21/2005 8:53 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Hot Sects


Please do not read if highly offended by religious humor. just tryin' to get ourselves a little bit of fun.

Presleyterians
Founded in Memphis, TN in the mid-70's, members can be seen wearing rhinestones and sideburns. Traditional meetings begin with the worship leader chanting. "I'm in love," with the congregation (known as the Elvi) responding in unison, "I'm all shook up."

Kathyleeists
Have a huge missions organization to help employ children in Asian countries. Very giving people. And seem to smile regardless of the many tragedies in their lives.

Methochists
No one has been able to figure out exactly what they believe in, but it is believed that they may be at the center of a large drug distribution network.

Jujubeeism
Faith built around the tradiional hymn, "I Want Candy." Services are often held in movie theatres, and many members are very productive for a short while following services. Then they totally crash.

Bantists
Group seemingly dedicated to the eradication of fun. Has been said they fear extra-marital sex because it might lead to dancing.

Dowists
Spend long hours daily meditating over the wisdom of their holy scripture, The Wall Street Journal.

Bootyists
Often found in Groups with titles like Ass Worshippers of St. Paul (believed to be a reference to the city in Minnesota; not the early Christian author/itenerate preacher). Noted for their wild calls to worship.

'ismommists
Group founded by blokes from England with a Cockney accent. They fancy shagging each others' mums. Wouldn't it be loverly?

Winduism
Group which focuses on the wisdom and thought of Samuel L. Jackson's character in the most recent Star Wars trilogy. Members shave their heads as a symbol.

AlbertPrince 58M

9/22/2005 1:51 pm

Is it true that all monks think about is sects


HardlyYours4Now 52M

9/22/2005 2:33 pm

sscc*

*snare-snare-crash cymbal

(Hardly attempts to create some new netspeak)


ProtonicMan 48M

9/22/2005 7:36 pm

sscc has officially been added to my vocabulary. Well done!

TJ


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