Hardly At the Bat  

HardlyYours4Now 52M
951 posts
10/11/2005 5:10 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Hardly At the Bat

The outlook wasn't all that great
for HardlyYours that day,
He hadn’t scored in a year or two,
and his thinning hair was going gray.

And when his first line died so fast,
and the second did the same,
A frustrated silence befell the man,
and he hung his head in shame.

A straggling few more hairs fell
out in deep despair.
The rest clung to that shiny scalp,
e’er more exposed to air.
He thought, "If only I could steal her glasses,
I’d have a shot at that.
I'd put up even money now,
with her as blind as a bat."


A bookish marm she seemed to be,
her glasses on her nose;
Hardly plotted, Hardly schemed
to get beneath her clothes.

She took them off (the glasses, friend)
when her Lemon Ouzo came
Hardly rushed to pass her chair,
though he knew his approach was lame.
And as he neared the targeted spot,
the table of the lady fair,
A careless waiter stepped in front ‒
tray, pitcher, napkins in the air.

And when the dust had lifted,
and men saw what had occurred,
there was Hardly safe in his seat
and grinning (how absurd).

In his hands, some spectacles;
his quest was not in vain!
He rose to near her seat again,
his objective very plain.
He knelt beside her and her chair,
and prepared to launch his banter
Moving the glasses to the other palm,
to drop them behind her in a planter

But then that friggin’ waiter appeared,
and kneed Hardly in the face.
How could he ever recover from this,
with pinache and a little grace?
He spun around to where he’d been,
about to make his pass ‒
But as his knee touched to the ground,
the sound of breaking glass…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Oh somewhere there’s lovemaking,
and joyful grunts and groans;
Somewhere a man shouts “Oh My GOD!”
as his partner softly moans,
Yes, somewhere folks are speaking,
in soft whispers and loud shouts;

But there is no joy in Woodstock;
for our Hardly has struck out.


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
10/11/2005 6:59 pm

Time to take that game on the road.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


keithcancook 60M
17846 posts
10/11/2005 7:14 pm

Hardly has struck out.

Dang! You used the line I had planned to comment with after reading the first two stanzas of this post. I shoulda known it would be there at the end... DOH!


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
10/11/2005 7:34 pm

Poor Hardly! *sniff*

DustStormDiva


HardlyYours4Now 52M

10/12/2005 2:35 am

daphne - Are you suggesting I should go play in the street? Mom always told me to do that...

Keith - I read sj365's post, Turn, Turn, Turn, but I have to admit I wrote this one from the last line backwards. 'Tis series time in baseball, and i have yet to hear Ernest Lawrence Thayer's classic this year...so I stole it.

dusty - Yep, I still have pieces of her glasses in my knee. Ouch!


keithcancook 60M
17846 posts
10/12/2005 3:08 pm

sj's post is a marvel of good penmanship. I am awed by her.


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