9th Circuit - Disconnected?  

HardlyYours4Now 52M
951 posts
11/8/2005 2:45 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

9th Circuit - Disconnected?


Heard about the 9th Circuit Court's ruling on sex ed last week? If you don't listen to a wide variety of news sources, probably not.

If you are a parent, you should know about this.

Mainstream media sources tell the story of a group of parents who signed a consent form for their kids to take part in a survey. The kids were ages 7 to 10. The consent form did not specify what the questions would cover.

The parents filed a suit after the fact because they felt the survey was innapropriate. The court ruled that there is no precedent to allow parents to control when their kids are taught about sex.

Okay, I can see both sides of that one. Some parents would never talk to their kids at all, and that ain't healthy; but I'm not sure I want a group of people outside of my family setting the agenda for something that can be such a loaded issue.

But then I read some of the questions.

Bear in mind, seven to ten was the target age range of the students.

Sample questions (True or False section):
- I feel dirty when I think about sex.
- I like to touch my private parts.
- I think about touching other people's private parts
- I think about sex all the time.

Okay, you get the idea.

The whole survey wasn't like this - but if I walked up to your seven-year-old on th street and asked those questions, how many of you would want me to be locked up?

I watch CNN and Fox (mostly the news portions, not the shout-fest lunacy) because I feel like neither gives a full perspective. I also read other sources - Wall Street Journal, Christian Science Monitor, Penthouse - to round out my views. So this ain't just right-wing demigoguery. I don't want to blog about politics, unless I can make fun of both sides of the aisle.

We'll be having age-appropriate discussions from age five or so on up, and are already seeing some curiosity in the toddler about where babies come from. That, by the way, brings up a whole diferent set of issues with an adopted child than biological parents have to deal with.

But as a parent, I have to tell you, I don't want someone asking my kids about masturbation at age seven.

Anybody care to weigh in on this?

helga_hansen 49F  
1987 posts
11/8/2005 5:21 am

Hardly, I'm not American, but I don't think that fact matters at all!

I have to agree with you that those questions were highly inappropriate, especially for that age range. While I can agree that not all parents like to talk about sex with their kids when they are older (WHY EVER NOT??) I would like my son to know what I feel is appropriate for his age. We've already started talking about personal hygiene, and when the time comes for shaving, his dad can tackle that topic... because he knows about these things. Personally I don't think I would be comfortable knowing my son was sleeping around before he was at least 16 (he's a few months away from 13), and as soon as I become aware that there is a "girlfriend" I will sit down and talk to him about his responsibility... not only to her, but to himself. I don't my son to ever be in the situation where he feels compelled, and by the same token, I don't want my son to be compelling either.

Living in a country which has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe breaks my heart, and having personal experience (I was an unmarried mother at 19) I just wonder whether youngsters are even aware of the impact a unplanned baby will have on their lives. I chose to allow my baby to be adopted, and it is a decision I have had to live with all my life, but I do know, hand on heart, that it was the best possibly choice, both for him and for me.

I guess the most appropriate age to start talking about these things with your children is perhaps when they enter high school, where I presume they will receive some sort of "sex education", but I would never expect the school to fulfill what is essentially a parent's responsiblity!!!

Hx

Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥


saddletrampsk 54F

11/8/2005 6:46 am

Well children have to learn that masturbation is normal and not dirty but to keep things age appropriate..I am not sure if this survey is for the children's benefit though..I am open and honest with my kids regarding sex and being on a farm the kids see sex all the time with all the horny animals here..Perhaps this survey wasn't appropriate but it is every parent's duty to know what is being taught to your child in every subject not just sex ed


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
11/8/2005 7:46 am

Sure, I'll toss in my two cents worth. As a mom and as someone who has worked with public schools, when I read this I kept thinking, "why a lawsuit?" Couldn't have this been addressed differently? I didn't read/see the orginal story so I'm interesting a hearing a larger context of why this was not handled through meetings, discussions, school groups, etc. Was the school board that closed off to hearing parental concerns? Additionally, although I would also would have had similar concerns about those questions, I would once again like to have a bigger picture of context - who was asking the questions, what was the setting, tone like, etc.

Basically I that the 'oh no, yet another lawsuit' aspect of it bothered me more than the actual questions. As a parent, the questions were more of a red flag, until I got the full story.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


AlbertPrince 57M

11/8/2005 7:48 am

I have to agree with you.

In this country a teacher has to to ring a parent to ask permission to put a sticking plaster on a child's finger. BUT ... they don't need the parent's permission to give a 13 year old girl advice on getting an abortion.


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
11/8/2005 7:53 am

Thats just creepy, ew. But I am 34 so my answers are true, true, true, and true.


digdug41 49M

11/8/2005 7:56 am

I agree with you hardly I had an icident with my oldest son who is in catholic school where the teacher in religion class mind you told the students that oral sex was a sin before marriage now what kind of crap is that but it has not happened since so I let it go but yeah it is crazy these days what people feel is appropriate to tell your children I'd rather my kids sit down and watch the hazelden tapes I have on sex and std's then we can have a healthy discussion about it

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


truckerwidow 46F
35 posts
11/8/2005 11:17 am

It scares me to even think that my eight year old daughter would be asked those kind of questions. I believe in OPEN dialogue about sex with my kids. As someone who has children in three different ages ranges (17, 11, , all daughters (pray really hard for me!) I deal with three different sets of "sex issues" on a daily basis. My 17 yr. old is in the throes of first love (geez) and I feel the time is appropriate for discussing birth control...cause I'm not stupid, I remember! My 11 year old is on the cusp of puberty, hormonal, moody, you name it. I'm at a loss with her. Everything embarrasses her. My eight year old I'm hoping is still innocent of "feeling dirty" when she thinks about sex. God, would she even know what the hell they were talking about??? I would hope not. I know that kids know a lot more than we give them credit for, but that survey seems way too extreme for that age group.


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
11/8/2005 11:53 am

    Quoting rm_1hotwahine:
    Sure, I'll toss in my two cents worth. As a mom and as someone who has worked with public schools, when I read this I kept thinking, "why a lawsuit?" Couldn't have this been addressed differently? I didn't read/see the orginal story so I'm interesting a hearing a larger context of why this was not handled through meetings, discussions, school groups, etc. Was the school board that closed off to hearing parental concerns? Additionally, although I would also would have had similar concerns about those questions, I would once again like to have a bigger picture of context - who was asking the questions, what was the setting, tone like, etc.

    Basically I that the 'oh no, yet another lawsuit' aspect of it bothered me more than the actual questions. As a parent, the questions were more of a red flag, until I got the full story.
This country, this ENTIRE country is lawsuit or the threat of a lawsuit crazy. You'd be surprised at the people that contact their lawyers faster than they try to use their own brain cells. Tiny little petty things that could be solved by a simple discussion are being brought up before the courts. It's insane.

As far as the questions to the kids go, those are out of line, even for my 20 year old. She'd have gotten grossed out.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


HardlyYours4Now 52M

11/8/2005 4:52 pm

Serious stuff, huh?

For those who were bothered about the lawsuit - I agree, that certainly shouldn't be the first line of defense for righting every wrong. A talk radio dude was talking about it, and the outside documentation I've found supports what he said, that the parents did try to talk to school administrators and were ignored.

I'm with Billy Shakespeare, let's kill the lawyers to start. But the parents were primarily trying to assert their parental rights to have more say in sex ed.

It needs to happen, it needs to start younger than it did with any of us; but it still should be presented in a way that addresses an individual child. I don't see how the homogenized approach of public education (75% of my family are in teaching - I understand the NEA point of view) can meet such a critical issue.

I learned about sex from a video we watched in seventh (yes I said seventh) grade. It was news to me, but I was clearly in the minority. When the lights came up, one of the class bullies pointed out that I was red in the face and had an erection. That isn't going to happen to my kids.


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