'Twas the Night of My Birthday  

HardlyYours4Now 52M
951 posts
9/9/2005 1:55 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

'Twas the Night of My Birthday

'Twas the night of my birthday,
And all through the night
I slept on the sofa
By my laptop's soft light.

A post I was writing
Sat still on the screen
When I heard something stirring -
Was it real or a dream?

I glanced toward the staircase -
Footfalls descending -
Computer still logged in -
My life I saw ending.

And who, to my fretful
Eyes, should appear?
But my Mrs. Hardly
Who glanced with a sneer

"Don't even bother,"
She said, as I scrambled,
"You always sleep logged in"
And further she rambled,

"I've seen them for months now,
The posts you've been writing;
But since its your birthday
It seemed inviting

To come give you a present
To ease what I see growing"
Indeed, I was excited
As I thought of her blowing

A little in my ear -
That I'd been missing.
But she bent down by my pants,
And began hissing

"You think I've been frigid
This year and three quarters;
Tonight I give passion
That has no borders"

With that, she was on me;
I'd forgotten that feeling.
Her hands and lips busy,
My head simply reeling.

Now, I am not usually
One for kissing and telling
But then, I wasn't kissing
And my member was swelling

She worked me over
With slurping and kissing,
Then said with a smile,
"I know what is missing"

She called out her friend's name -
Of whom I'd been dreaming
When she then appeared,
I almost was creaming.

Two lovely women,
And I was their focus
Was this for real,
Or some hocus pocus?

Her friend was disrobing,
My heart hardly pounding,
When, there on the table
The alarm started sounding...

As I reached to get it,
I discovered with sadness
I'd only been dreaming.
And from my nocturnal madness

I said to myself,
As I turned on the light,
"At least I have dreaming."
Now I bid you good night.

All references to my birthday are intentionally misleading. Any references to my wife's friend are also only there for dramatic effect; I really don't think of her in that way.

Or at least, I didn't until now. Damn, we're meeting them for dinner; I'm going to have to think about something else.

Here's the story, of a lovely lady...
That isn't working...now what?


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
9/9/2005 6:38 am

You are trying to win me over with your poetry, aren't you?

Excuse me while I clean up the coffee I spit all over my desk.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

AlbertPrince 58M

9/9/2005 6:42 am

I try to daydream, but my mind keeps wandering.

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
9/9/2005 8:20 am

Al is following me. Make him stop.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
9/9/2005 8:24 am

Oh! I almost forgot ...

You are so incredibly sexy - I want you, now!

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

HardlyYours4Now 52M

9/9/2005 8:30 am

Daphne -

Whatever it takes.

HardlyYours4Now 52M

9/9/2005 8:31 am

AP - Try putting on a collar and staking yourself to the back porch. It works for my kids.

xx_44DD_xx 51F

9/9/2005 1:48 pm

*starting a new rumor about Al, Daphne and Hardly*

You three are together often enough to make it rumor worthy

ProtonicMan 48M

9/9/2005 7:16 pm

You three (or is that just one with schizophrenia?) are funny.

Another great poem, Mr. Hardly.

Reading the fine print at the end (no, not the REALLY SMALL stuff), I wonder how much your wife's friend knows about your "situation." Do you pretend to be happy in your marriage around them, or your families for that matter? I don't miss that. Kids or no, sometimes it just isn't worth staying. My 2ยข.


HardlyYours4Now 52M

9/9/2005 8:01 pm

44DD -

But oddly, you never see us in a chat room at the same time - kinda like Michael and Janet Jackson. Hmm. Food for thought.

HardlyYours4Now 52M

9/9/2005 8:10 pm


Friends know there are issues - but most prefer to take the "we'll be praying for you" route. To quote Forrest Gump, "That's all I've got to say about that."

duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
9/10/2005 12:27 pm

Great poem. I am glad I got out of my marriage before I felt I had to stay for whatever reason.


HardlyYours4Now 52M

9/10/2005 5:45 pm

dusty -

Someday, probably. But for now, I'm still here.

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