|Blogs > HardlyBreathing > Curbside Check-In|
August 10, 2005
Read any good profiles lately?
I enjoy reading the profiles even more than the blogs sometimes. Now there is a place for some creative writing skills.
The following is my guide for profile newbies, sort of a 'here's what they really mean.' Hope it is either more helpful or amusing than it is offensive - but no promises.
no drama: member doesn't want to help carry your baggage, would prefer to not be aware of it. Or they don't like Law & Order
highly selective: you won't be getting a response
select males: must be reminiscent of the late John Holmes (longest schlong to grace the porn screen)
height/weight proportional: please refer to the American Medical Association homepage for charts which give appropriate heights and weights with adjustments based on shoulder width
race unimportant: not a huge NASCAR or Indy fan
romance: looking for true love, not to be ridden like a mule at the Grand Canyon then turned out to pasture
seeks a generous man: she is either looking for a sugar daddy or she is a professional (not in the dental technician kinda way)
not interested in married men: means 'not interested in married men'
please no whatever: if you are a whatever, you are already out; why clog up the apparently over-burdened email and IM lines here at AdultFriendFinder if you've been eliminated? If you already see that the sign says you must be 'x' inches tall to ride this ride, and you are x-1, find another ride. Desperate doesn't play well here. Believe me. I know. From experience.
cheaters not wanted: phrase usually found in the profile of women who have been very badly hurt by someone who was married, often to the writer of the profile, which is a much more strongly (and unnecessarily harsh) version of 'not interested in married men.' And duds, I mean dudes - if you are married, BE HONEST. The guys who can't be up front about that are doing damage that the rest of us pay for. Off the soapbox. Thank you.
I'm not changing my life: I have NO idea what the hell that means, unless it is a way of saying, "I'm so disinterested I don't expect this to affect the way I live at all." If someone knows the REAL meaning of this phrase, please enlighten the rest of us.
9/27/2005 2:58 am
I never saw this one first time around (I know, I know) but allow me to say a belated nice! |
9/27/2005 5:24 am
I always take "I'm not changing my life" to indiciate that the reader will only be required for sexual services, must take his condom and wrapper home with him and never expect clean sheets. It isn't a phrase I use, although I may well be guilty of variations on the others.|
I think the selective things come into play on editted profiles once a woman has drowned in the initial surge of mail. Our standards get higher as we see the pool we're fishing in.