Jokes- Southern stuff  

HardNhorneee 52M
127 posts
5/22/2005 9:23 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Jokes- Southern stuff


The owner of a golf course in Alabama was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University
of Alabama and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%,
how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

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A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the
day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the
weight of an eight-point buck.

"Where's Henry?" the others asked.

"Henry done had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the
trail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry layin' out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to be
a'stealin' Henry!"

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A senior citizen in Alabama was overheard saying... "When the end of the
world comes, I hope to be in Alabama."

When asked why, he replied I'd rather be in Alabama because everything
happens in here 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

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The young man from Alabama came running into the store and said to his
buddy, "Bubba, somebody done stolled your pickup truck from the parkin'
lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who done it?

"The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got his license number."

*************************************************************
NEWS FLASH! -
" Alabama's worst air disaster occurred this morning when a small two-seater
Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Auburn University students crashed into a
cemetery earlier today. Search and Rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery effort.

****************************************************************

An Alabama State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-85. The trooper asked,
"Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

****************************************************************

A man in Alabama had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and
proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind
it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned
around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man
replied, "I have a flat tire."

The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flar's in front and flar's in the back!
I never did understand it neither."

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