Humor-Sexual urges of men & women  

HardNhorneee 52M
127 posts
7/30/2005 11:55 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Humor-Sexual urges of men & women

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing.

And I never have figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. Also, I never have figured out how sexual desire gets
thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the words, "I do."

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. The passion starts to heat up, and she then says, "I don't feel like it, I just want
you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT?!"

So she says the words that I and every other husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs
as a Woman.

I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realized that nothing is going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.

The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store .

. . I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them.

She smiles a big smile and tells me that she'd also like matching shoes worth $200 each, to which I say, "OK."

And then, we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she picks out a set of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you ... she was so excited! She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared.

I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet, because she doesn't even play tennis. I really threw her for a loop when I told
her that it was OK.

She was almost sexually excited from all of this. You should have seen the elation in her face when she said, "OK, I'm ready, let's go pay for
all of this!"

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."

You should have seen her face . . . it went completely blank. I then said,
"Really honey! I just wanted you to HOLD this stuff for a while."

Just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."

I figure that I might have sex again sometime during the Spring thaw of 2006....

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