April 13th, a Black day for me...........  

HOTNBOTHERED0414 46F
6876 posts
4/12/2006 2:28 am

Last Read:
4/29/2006 11:47 am

April 13th, a Black day for me...........


My mother had just moved us to Tuscon AZ, from Kansas. She was runnin from her ex.(my first step dad)
She had made friends with a new couple, who had two sons our age (my brothers and I ).

They came to our house everyday. But then I started to noticed that just the dad (russel) was coming over, at night, alone. I may have been only 9 but I knew what was going on.

He was a big man, with long stringy brown hair and a long beard and a big tattoo of an eagle on his back.

I had heard he had just got out of prison, but I was told he killed a man defending himself.

Mom made us swear to never talk about him coming over when his wife and kids were with him.

One night, mom had us kids go to bed, and as I lay there in my dark room, trying to go to sleep,I heard the front door open and close, and her car start and drive away.

The next thing I know my bedroom door is opened by "HIM". My innocents was stolen from me that night, the day before my 10th birthday.

When my mom returned he was already back in the livingroom like nothing had happened. And if he would not have told me he would do the same to my brothers if I told, I would have run out right at that moment and told my mother. But she was sitting with him and laughing and having fun, while I was laying there crying, and hurting.

My mother cont. dating him. And I had to see him daily. He would try to touch me when no one was looking. I lived like this til I was 13 and we moved to Georgia.

I finally got up the nerve to tell her when I turned 16. She slapped my face and called me a liar.And that I was just jealous of her and I always tried to ruin her relationships. And that I was the reason he broke up with her, cause I was a little Bitch. I moved out that night.

When I was 18 I moved back to Tucson. I went to the store with my aunt. And there he was! I froze, tears in my eyes, as he came up to us to talk to my aunt. My aunt noticed my discomfort, and when he walked away asked me what was wrong. I told her the story. She automatically went to my uncle.

And from what I have been told, my uncle and younger brother took him for a ride into the desert, but he never came back out.

I was then also informed, he had gotten out of prison for molesting children, and my mother knew it! She left me alone in the house with a child molester! And did not believe me when I told her he had done it to me!

And yes it is 26 years later,And I have been told he got what he deserved, but it does not erase the memories. It still haunts me.

I probably will not be on for sometime.

randyquade Just sent me an e-mail, he is heading out the door to the airport heading here.

See you all soon! Be good while I am gone!

H~N~B


rm_cru1972 44M
4407 posts
4/12/2006 3:15 am

Iknow what you mean, I too told and was called a liar by my mother. The pain I feel will never go away. But I have learned to deal with it. I have given my own retribution to my uncle. He may never know I have but it helps me. That took courage to tell, I know. Thank you!!!!


libgemOH 56M/52F

4/12/2006 3:43 am

Sweetie, that took a lot of courage to write it down. It's my hope that healing and a lessening of your pain begins now. Thank you so much for being so brave and a big *HUG* to you!! -B


papyrina 50F
21133 posts
4/12/2006 5:08 am

hugs for you,that was so brave to put it all down ,too many on here and outside of here have been abused at such innocent ages again hugs


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


LustGoddess2469 49F  
2453 posts
4/12/2006 5:18 am

That was so brave. (HUGGGGGS)

Lusty


readytolay_3
(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)
105F

4/12/2006 6:17 am

Sister you have touched my Heart....Just so you know your not alone...My mother had pretty much the same reaction when I finely told her...she said and I quote "Well what the hell do you want me to do about it..??" And no your not the same after, as a child your world has changed for ever....But for me I learned to embrace that child with in and Love Her as she deserved to be Loved then...For me that aloud me to set the pain free and walk away from those who were involved....But we all Heal in different ways and it takes some REAL COURAGE to speak of such tragedies...HUGS FROM BUTTERFLIES TO YOU...Ready

Ready


rm_affbreak 45M
287 posts
4/12/2006 6:44 am

> it does not erase the memories

Nothing probably ever will.

But as we age we have a chance of growing stronger by dealing with the events happening to us in the past - finally realizing we did what we were able to do back then being kids, enableing us to focus to look forward again, enjoying life.

What I'm reading is that probably your mother (failing to protect you, failing to help you, denying to listen to you, punishing you
for trying to say the truth) did in a way hurt you similar than the continuing itself.

Neither your brother nor your uncle will take care this scar your mom left on your soul will heal or won't be broken open again. It's your decision - and it helps to know parents are just normal human beings - flawed, doing big mistakes and sometimes denying truth, unconsciously trying to protect their own souls.

As long as your mom is alive you can confront her with the mistakes she made - if that's something you want or something which might help your scars to hurt less in the future. But it's your decision.


loadeddice05 44M

4/12/2006 6:51 am

Some men are disgusting!! Why anyone would ever hurt a child?? Beyond my comperehension!!!!


firestarter665 42M/39F

4/12/2006 8:38 am

Unfortunately something like this can never be erased from the mind. It must have taken a lot of strength for you to write this.

Sending lots of hugs your way!


angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
4/12/2006 9:18 am

~hugs~ This took alot of courage to write down. Just know that you are the person we know and love today in spite of all of this. You have given the gift of voice to so many others here who have experience similar experiences. I think the worst thing a mom can do is not believe their child. Even if later it is proven to be blown out of proportion....I think we have to show them support from the gitgo! I suppose that until we walk a mile in your moms shoes, we cannot really know why she did what she did. But you....you are in control of the rest of your life. And you are a gift to all of us!


pragmaticCTcpl 61M/50F

4/12/2006 9:43 am

Thank you for opening up yourself and sharing your very private and heart breaking story. I am very sad to hear that he still continues to haunt you. No ones going to hurt you anymore. ***Placing my arms around you and holding you tight***


wildoats19622 54M
3483 posts
4/12/2006 11:22 am

Such a happy birthday. It just gets to me to hear about the number of people robbed of their innocence.

Wild

Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.


digdug41 49M

4/12/2006 2:00 pm

httas some shit to go through and the worse is telling your mother and she said that stupid shit to you wow glad your here and you surviverd it dont let him(the molester) nor anyone else haunt you I know its easier said than done it took me a long time to when it happened to me

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


MrNuttz05 49M

4/12/2006 6:13 pm

I luv ya*
And I love your family for taking that sumovaBITCH for that ride. Those are the kind of rides I live for...
I was part of one down in Louisisana years ago...
And here is a lil' something else; He DIDN'T get what he deserved...


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
4/12/2006 7:10 pm

not being believed is as bad as or worse than the on us...I'm sorry you had to go through all that...thanks for sharing, you'll definately help some folks with this post.

lustytaurus


mycin62 54F

4/12/2006 7:38 pm

Thank you for sharing and baring your soul to us, that took a lot of courage. I admire and applaud you. For the scared child you were then, who live thru that and for the strong woman you've grown to be now!!

Big hugs,
Cin


AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
4/12/2006 8:13 pm

I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you. You are quite brave for saying this. I was beaming with pride for you when you stated that he was "taken for a ride". be strong, pretty one.


rm_Sylent72 44M

4/12/2006 8:40 pm

Men like that deserve death. The pain never goes away. You just learn to live with it untill you are numb and one day you realize you are still alive. You have to learn to find happiness in the current moment and realize you are worth all the good things that happen to you.


LadytoPleaseYou 64F
5447 posts
4/12/2006 10:46 pm

God bless you sweetie

PENIS CHARMING....where are you?


Green_Tea_Boy 49M
1064 posts
4/13/2006 2:33 am

Took a lot of courage to write that..

men like that never change..

I'm not excusing your mother's failure to protect you... but the first thing a man like that does is to 'groom' those that protect a child..

so your mother was probably made to feel that she could trust him and that he'd be safe around children..however his only real interest was in getting unrestricted access to you...

revenge is never enough..it doesn't erase the feelings and emotions.. you maybe need to talk to someone who does specialist counselling in this area...

enjoy your break...xxx


HOTNBOTHERED0414 46F

4/13/2006 9:34 pm

Green_Tea_Boy-- Went to a counceler, and walked ot on him! He said that all the abuse my mother had shown me was maybe her way of showing love!

LadytoPleaseYou-- TY!

longhairednikki--SSSSSHHHHHHHH I have a reputation remember?

Sylent72-- TY

AtomicArtist-- TY BABE!

mycin62-- Happy birthday!

LustyTaurus-- TY

MrNuttz05-- To be honest, the drive did not help me!

digdug41-- Sorry to hear it happened to you too

wildoats19622-- It has happened to so many!

pragmaticCTcpl-- TY

angelofmercy5-- My mom was or IS a drug addict.

firestarter665-- TY

loadeddice05-- I have no clue why adults hurt children.

affbreak--- I have not spoke to my mother in 10 years!

readytolay_3-- Hugs back to ya sis!

LustGoddess2469-- TY Busty Lusty!

papyrina-- It amazes me how many have been hurt!

libgemOH-- TY

cru1972-- Soryy to hear you have shared the same pain as me! How could moms do that to thier children? I never could!


rm_yukonpaul 51M
1120 posts
4/13/2006 11:03 pm

I don't know if this will help, but check a post by SoyKOFLA. He submitted this on March 4th, it's called [blog 257528].

Thank you for sharing a very painful part of your life.


rm_goddess1946 105F
13518 posts
4/13/2006 11:38 pm

I'm so sorry that you had to experience what you did. It can
be healing to share the story and I only pray that you have
some peace about what happened now. It was not your fault. You
were innocent. I hope you know that.

I am on the board of directors for an amazing organization that
assists children in *telling*...the work is done through the
creative and brilliantly angelic efforts of one woman who created
puppets and the program is presented in the schools. You can find
their website as it is called stopabuse and then the dot and the com along with the w's.

Gentle hugs and love to you always...

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...
{=}


HOTNBOTHERED0414 46F

4/14/2006 9:25 am

Sassy_Lady_NYC--TY

goddess1946-- I am going to go look it up, TY

yukonpaul-- TY I am gonna go look now.


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