|Blogs > HNDSMESOLDIERBY9 > My Thoughts|
I dunno what to title it
I dunno what to title it
14 JUN 06 12:13 am
OK, so why is it do I always want to rush into a relationship? Lael isn’t the reason for this. I know this now. Why do I think I’m so ready for marriage? Am I really? I can’t even keep my finance’s in order… I do know that I have found a person I would love to be with for the near future, but now I’m going to Hawaii. I hate life some time’s. Why Can’t I just be able to be with her? Like a normal, hopefully, boyfriend. Why did I join the army? Will I be strong enough to try? Will she be able to deal with me being that far away? Will we be faithful to each other should we decide to continue with “us”? God I want her to myself. When I think about her, I get, I don’t know, giddy. No, happy. Something I haven’t truly felt in a long time when I think about a woman. She has always made feel good. From the first time I met her, way back in like ’97, even after we had something like a 7 year break in contact. When I got back in touch with her, that same feeling came back. It’s been there even after we decided not to carry on a relationship anymore after I got back from Kuwait. Every time she calls, I jump. We may not say much to each other at all, just knowing that she’s there on the other end is enough. To think that she wants to be with me… Like I told her, I could fly. Beckah is one in a million. Her personality put together with her looks, she is the most attractive woman I have ever met in my life. But again, we’re fixin’ to have to deal with ten times the distance we have now. Someone asked me today if I was in love. I didn’t respond, but maybe I am. Should I be? Should I let go some so as not to get hurt if things don’t work? I know this; I will do anything to make me and Beckah work. I just hope she can handle me being far away for long periods of time. Just thinking of that make me sick and want to cry. I’m only 2 hrs away and haven’t seen her in like 2 months and miss her incredibly. Should I? God, I really think I love Beckah. I would do anything for her. This may seem a little extreme, but I would die for Beckah, no questions asked. If it meant keeping her safe, alive and well, I would do anything. I just wish I could tell her my true feelings and not scare her.
6/14/2006 7:55 pm
If you feel that strongly about her, you might want to ask her how she feels about you before you go and rush into talking about you and her and a future.|
If she says she cares for you alot, that's not love.
If she says that she loves you, but not like that ... nope, not love.
If she says that she can't live without you ... you have a lover.
AND yes, some women will stay faithful to the right man, if she's unfaithful, you didn't lose anything, she wasn't right to begin with.
and thanks for all you do to keep everyone safe.