Ode to the Nice Guys  

HELLYES1985 31F
161 posts
2/23/2006 10:06 am

Last Read:
10/2/2006 7:26 pm

Ode to the Nice Guys

This is a tribute to the nice guys. As you read, you may notice I've bolded a few lines which many females in my generation don't appriciate enough.

The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while at the same time disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and walk their female friends safetly to her door before they drive off. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but gives them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing serious between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: oh, but we're just friends!, And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that.

The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches.

Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as oh, he's too nice to date, or he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me, or he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!, or the most frustrating of all: no, it would ruin our friendship. Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003
-------
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal


whats4dessert2 49M

2/23/2006 11:35 am

Wow sarah...great post...I don't know if I'm a nice guy. I like to think of myself as one.

If I'm in the category, thanks. If not, all I can do is work harder to get there because it's a place all guys should be.


rm_observer106 66M
6 posts
2/23/2006 1:12 pm

Sarah,

I think I hate you!!!<grin> You have just perfectly described why I am attracted to younger women. Because some of them _do_ grow out of that behavior but if you're not quick enough someone "grabs them" and they are gone!!! Or maybe you were lucky enough to "grab one" and then something happens . . .<sigh>

So anyway, after reading this I just had to thank you. From your posts in the group I know you to be a cute, quick-witted, articulate, intelligent, hard-working girl. Now I know that you are wise, too.

Take care, Kid! See ya on the groups!
o106


rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
2/23/2006 1:20 pm

Nice post! Something I have started doing is paying attention to the nice guys. Discovered something very wonderful. They are also the best lovers. Gee, wonder how that happened ...?


rm_cru1972 44M
4407 posts
2/23/2006 3:01 pm

Thank nyou sooo very much for saying nice things like that. It was wonderfull 2 hear that you appreciate the things some women take for granted & some of us MEN try to incorporate into our daily lives. Believe it or not there are lots of us out there.


rm_Thickdick762 41M

2/23/2006 4:40 pm

Sarah,
As a long-time nice guy, I have to agree 100% with the post. It is true that the lying swine get more women into bed than us nice guys. However, I claim that the QUALITY of the sex we get is much better than that the assholes get through their " . . . uh huh, get 'em drunk and 'em . . . huh, huh, huh . . ." routines. My philosophy has always been to treat a woman right, treat her with respect, and then when we finally do get into bed give her the best experience she has ever had . . . and thus get invited back for repeat encounters. For me that has worked pretty well, but I never make sexual advances until the woman signals unmistakably that she is receptive to such gestures, because (like all humans) I intensely dislike rejection.


Everyman1111 41M
2992 posts
2/24/2006 2:16 am

Hello Sarah

I'm pretty sure you've described me as well, to a good extent. I certainly DON'T class myself as an angel of any sort... and I haven't had the opportunity to tolerate any young female friends THAT much (e.g. hours and hours of whining about men or hangovers).

In the past I have played what seems to be a 'priest' or listener 'therapist' role (for the want of better terms) to a number of young ladies over the years, including even a few dancers. It's almost as if friendship and sex were diametrically 'opposed' to each other in my psyche, once upon a time. And hence I may have projected that perception to a lot of my past young female friends, whether they were already 'taken' or not.

But I guess it can be the standards that a lot of us 'nice guys' perhaps live by. We refuse to treat women anything less than with courtesy - if not dignity - regardless of their life circumstances, and even if for some reason they try to convince us they dress or behave 'slutty' elsewhere.

I sure wish I would get laid once in a while. Websites like these seem to be testimony to the fact that there has to be a lot of 'selling' and glamour - and even a bit of lying and cajoling now and then - to try and convince any prospective playmate that we are worth the moments. Not unlike the proverbial peacock displaying his colourful feathers.

Like Thickdick, I have a hard time handling direct rejection, which is why I wouldn't even ask any young female directly for a date.... even though her reasons for saying "no" might not necessarily have nothing to do with me personally. Sensitivity abounds.

I'm sure you're right, Sarah, that many girls have to go through this kind of trial-and-error pathway of disappointment, pain, rejection etc until perhaps they learn that much of the problem had to do with themselves and their beliefs (which probably stem from childhood experiences or whatever).

On the other hand, I think a lot of so-called 'nice guys' may carry around our own share of 'stuff' or baggage as well. Maybe some of us have a need to 'adore' a beautiful young 'goddess' from afar, like some would adore an unttainable and distant moviestar. Maybe there are some have a need to play father-figure to pretty but insecure ladies, or to even play rescuer or father-confessor to them. Such roles probably enable some 'nice guys' to maintain the upper hand, so that they feel in charge and never have to be vulnerable and 'equal' to the lady in question... and so that they don't have to dip their toes into the heady waters of strong emotional currents that can underlie many relationships.

Or maybe some of us nice guys who have never gotten laid (except when paid for) probably can't face the 'devil' or 'bad boy' in ourselves. Though I'm sure such a category of 'nice guy' could bring that kind of alter-ego out of himself, if he would allow himself permission to and accept that part of himself.

Just my guess.

And yes, Sarah, again you've hit the nail on the head with me when you suggest that some of us nice guys can be suckers for a pretty smile LOL . Sometimes a ravishing female body can house a cold face, and even a cold heart.
But if a pretty woman happens to beam a heartwarming smile in my direction - like the sun parting the clouds on a bleak day - then BOY , is my interest piqued .

Thanks again for your ode, Sarah. Much appreciated, saved and kept. You seem to display quite a bit of insight for your age, in this department.

If even half the young adult population would scratch below the surface in the manner you have done with your piece here, gee we'd be close to having heaven on earth. Many may say I am a dreamer for saying this, but I bet I'm not the only one .

Thank you, Beautiful, for sharing your literary gift with us here.

xoxo E.


rm_wander1171 45M
2 posts
2/24/2006 8:49 am

Miss Sarah,

First thank you for showing us that there are ladys out there that do know or atleast acknolage we are out there.
I dont know how it happends but I seem to fall in that catagory, but Im not bitching, yeah we end up alone and lonely for the most part, get scruwed over alot and keep being the way we are for the one lil hope that one glories day we will find a lady that treats us as good as we treat them. Not saying that we cant do anything as good or better than the guy that can sweet talk woman in between the sheets, if more woman or ladys would take that chance they just mite be very supreised. Just a thought.?
Once again thank you and have great life


Move2YourBeat 59M

2/24/2006 6:59 pm

Sarah, I think you're an incurable romantic, and more than that I hope you're an INCURABLE romantic. Please don't let the cynics wear you down. If you can keep seeing the good in people then your life will be both happy and worthwhile. Now that I've found your blog I'll be visiting regularly to find out your latest thoughts. I know there's plenty of nice guys out there for you and I pray that you continue to find them.


Therealniceguy01 47M
35 posts
2/24/2006 11:47 pm

Thanks for the toast and the recognition of us nice guys, but, speaking for myslef, I've been waiting my whole life for "vindication" and I no longer hope. But thanks anyway.


jackattack6969 58M
1 post
2/26/2006 1:52 am

Thank you so much for this ode. I feel as if you were describing my entire life. Especially as to the getting laid part. The last time that happened that was not part of a cash transaction was over 7 years ago. The time before that it was , I just didn't know it, you know, the old "I'm in a tight spot, could you help me out?" routine. She slept with me once and got me to move her and her two children in with me and then proceeded to spend the rest of her time with the boyfriend I didn't know about before then, and I still didn't kick her out. Instead I proceeded to make an even bigger fool of myself by watching her children while she was out partying and even giving her my backup ATM card and PIN. That woman cost me my self-respect for years and almost made me lose my life. I spent the next 2 years after that avoiding women altogether. I've loved and lusted after many women quite fruitlessly, only to become their "best friend", as you so aptly put it. I've since come to recognize that particular kiss of death when they're with their girlfriends and they treat me as one of the girls, and start talking about guys freely. I must say I've heard some things that I don't think the men they sleep with have ever heard though, quite illuminating, except for answering the question of how do I get them to think of me as a man and fuckable, without turning into the sort of asshole that I despise, and they wind up going to bed with. Your ode doesn't really answer that either, but at least you recognize my predicament and sympathize and appreciate us "nice guys". Thank you, sincerely, jackattack6969


mmm69sx 44M
1 post
2/26/2006 11:44 pm

I just had to drop you a line after reading your blog, you seem to be an ok girl. Reading it made me feel the best I felt all day.

thanks


KMR1387 29M
1 post
2/28/2006 10:24 am

wow, can I just say you have made my day. hell you've made my year. Now Im no goodie 2 shoes, but you had to be watching my life when you wrote this, except I was playing halo 2. please email me, you seem like the type of person I could really get into once of the best conversations of my life with. medicwannabe76345@ yahoo.com

pat


Everyman1111 41M
2992 posts
2/28/2006 3:28 pm

Gee whiz,Sarah, looks like you've flushed a few "nice guys" out of the AdultFriendFinder woodwork, LOL .


angelus44960 56M  
29 posts
2/28/2006 8:45 pm

I'd just like to say thank you!!Coming from one of those "guys" I appreciate the thought and acknowledgement, though am still trying to live with the "bad reputation"..........But, after reading this, I feel much better, stronger, and secure in the thought that someone recognizes my feelings and deeds. THANK YOU





coulditbeyou25 55M
27 posts
3/1/2006 3:57 am

Well done, well said! If you are busy, are there anymore like you at home?


allmybesttoyou 57M
1 post
3/1/2006 10:18 pm

Maybe there is hope that some values from years past can survive in today's social climate, and not force the "Dating Dinosaurs" to evolve a self-centered perspective just to avoid romantic extinction.


monkeyspank1973 43M
2 posts
3/2/2006 3:13 pm

Thanx Sarah. I thought I was doing something wrong all these years. I always lost the women closest to me because they wanted the bad boy, and ended up crying back to me when they got hurt. I have three really close girls that think this way, but they all also know where to come if they need somebody to pour their guts to.


MrTickleStick4u 41M

3/2/2006 9:02 pm

Nice post Sarah, I think i'm somewere in the middle, BTW. your a cutie and my shoulder is always there 4 u to cry on(hopefully u wont need it) lets chat..


rm_grummps 72M
56 posts
3/3/2006 8:35 am

It happens all over the world Sarah. Thank you for your thoughts. I try my dammedest not to be that nice guy and get more fun outta life but we are what we are and nothing will change that.

Sure as eggs are eggs you'll find a nice guy though. You have the mind for it. Bless.

Grummps x x x


greeneyezwantsU 50M
14 posts
3/3/2006 12:38 pm

Thank you Sarah. As all of the men have described above, your acknowledgement is long overdue...and very appreciated.
On the other side of this however is the fact that most (if any) of the women who NEED to read this won't. And, if by some chance they DO read this, my feeling is that they are such small creatures (internally that is) that they will somehow justify their mis-treatment of the Nice Guys even further. You made a blanket statement as to your feelings of these women : "the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches." I would like to concur with this thought in a way my best friend uses often. It is a term that is commonly used in the UK, although we Americans believe it to be one of "THOSE" words :

Can't
Understand
Normal
Thinking

I applaude you Sarah for truly setting forth your belief here and acknowledging the mis-treatment of Mr Nice Guy.


notsureyet993 51M
1 post
3/5/2006 2:39 am

That is a perfect description of the relationship between me and my favorite person in the world. She can walk in to a room with 99 great guys and 1 ass, before anyone says a word she will go strait for the one who's looking to cheat on the wife he just beat up. The hard part is that I moved accross the country about a year ago and she is who I miss most. I wory too. So Kat, this seems more like your kind of site than mine, keep your ass out of trouble. There's nothing I can do at 3000 miles.


alessio67bug 33M
1 post
3/5/2006 4:43 pm

ı like u honey,ı guess ı am nice guy if u wanna chat me add me ur messenger,plzz AdultFriendFinder,see u ı hope


Silver_Tongue_79 36M
1 post
3/6/2006 5:43 pm

couldn't have said it better any other way. Another problem is that a lot of nice guys are ruined or go bad because they get tired of waiting and see all the ugly asshole types getting the girls (sex and relationships)and become disheartened and bitter. I fear I myself have become more selfish and a little bitter because of this exact problem. Yet still hold the inner hope that there is someone worthwhile holding out for. Cheers!


wewnta3wy 49M/49F

3/9/2006 4:17 pm

Nice story about the nice guy finishing last. I used to finish last. I am still a nice guy. I have been and done everything you posted. I have girlfriends who think of me that way and call me with their boyfriend issues. And trust me, I am no slouch!
I learned that women, ALL WOMEN!, like the nice guy. They just don't want him to be a wuss! It's ok to be the wuss after 3-4 months, but not initially, or she will lose interest, fast. Girls like the bad boys that they think they can change. The trick is, and to keep the girl from getting a bad boy-----ACT LIKE ONE INITIALLY!. When I learned that, I had a date a phone call away. My sex life went from zero to hero, My confidence level is approaching arrogance and to this point it all works! I have girls who don't care if I have a girlfriend, they just want to party with me. I went from begging for dates and lonely weekends to deciding which girl I wanted to go out with,and when. And girls like to "kick the tires" first, just like men do! I posted this profile for an ex-lover. We don't see each other any more, but she still wants a three way, with me and another girl, She's never been there, and I brought the freak out in her. She is totally uninhibited with me.
Hope that answers some of your questions, and helps others. Share it with the guys on your blog.


scsc93 36M
1 post
3/14/2006 1:06 am

whats up/were u frm


SeoulMan10 39M  
9 posts
3/16/2006 6:28 am

Good on you for giving them a tribute, cause thats all those pussies are ever gonna get. Don't fool yourself into thinking these guys are the unsung knights in shining armor, they want whats between your legs just as much as any man does, they just take the pussy(no pun intended) road, and end up being just that, pussies


rm_HornyUK79 37M
56 posts
3/16/2006 7:18 am

I'm echoing what a number of people have already said, but had to throw my hat into the ring...

It's fantastic to read such an insightful and sensitive post into the issue of nice guys... Not all, but a lot of what you said rings SO true with me...

Some guys are so far up their own arse they are practically inside out. But some are not. Some are considerate, and caring and respectful, and everything else you describe.

It is great to hear this recognised by anyone, but especially a gorgeous and vibrant young woman like you...

Gives us all just a little hope...


rm_fitjake 36M
1 post
3/16/2006 10:57 am

contact me i like your attitude


Nuzzy4 65M
2 posts
3/17/2006 2:07 pm

Here's to your perceptive nature Sarah. I commend a woman who asks the questions about why things are the way they have become. Nature and 5,000 years of human evolution and you would think our "higher brain who be in better sync with our older (sometimes more natural) one that is supposed to evaluate what will do us the most good in our choice of a "mate". Certainly, both sexes need a dose of reality. Women as you describe are not all to blame; too many outside messages to filter. All the men who have been as you describe appreciate those women like yourself who see beyond that sometimes confusing socialization. We are all still individuals aren't we? I see by your other article that you are still looking for that clarity you perceive should be there between another and yourself. I wish you absolute success.


rm_martinilove0 41M
8 posts
3/17/2006 4:11 pm

Well said HELLYES1985. Your absolutely correct.Nice guys sometimes dont stand a chance. You observation is very correct and thoughful and as meaning as in depth.It makes me wonder how you know so much.

A Nice guy!


slick_man35 46M

3/18/2006 7:30 pm

thank you


rm_DickDriveway 35M
2 posts
3/20/2006 10:25 pm

FINALLY! Someone who get's it, it's like I was reading a page right out of my life, right down to the Holding the hair back for the unbelievable drunk friend as she throws up all over her toilet, LOL.

Only to carry here to here bed and cover her up, turning off her light's and locking the door behind me on the way out. If I had a dollar for every drunk women that through herself at me (and started undoing my belt on the dancefloor of a bar), only to be the gentleman of integrity and do the honorable thing...track down her friends and tell them she needs a ride home before she throws herself at some asshole who's gonna take advantage of her. I'd be frickin' Rich by now!

Maybe a nice guy might get laid less often but he can sleep with a sound conscience, knowing he stands tall with his integrity and upholds his principles and values. Never sacrificing his honesty to himself and the life he Chooses to lead.

It's to bad more women don't understand...How you do anything is how you do everything, so if a guy types, talks and acts like an asshole chances are extremely high he is an asshole and you'll just get hurt again and again if you fall for that crap. If a guy is straight forward and honest, confident and interested in what you have to say not just how damn fine your ass is...chances are he can offer you more both in and out of the bedroom. Trust Me

"it is better to be silent and thought a fool, then to open ones mouth and remove all doubt"


rm_DickDriveway 35M
2 posts
3/20/2006 10:26 pm

Whoops that text turned out WAY bigger then I wanted...Oh well,lol


rm_fathomeless 43M

3/25/2006 12:37 am

Hey - thanks! Keep spreading the word: maybe we can reverse the trend. Nice guys always get tagged as being gay, too. That sucks. Thank you.
P.


rm_arun19833 32M
1 post
3/27/2006 1:09 am

waan sex


rm_apl16 53M
9 posts
3/28/2006 12:50 am

thx for the compliment. i've always been a nice guy, and rather lonely because of it. i just can't be a pig. all i want is an intelligent woman.
at least you give me a little hope. thx!!!!


StilltheOtherGuy 56M

3/28/2006 12:23 pm

You are a most remarkable young lady. Reading your post was truly a breath of fresh air, and just the assurance this gentleman needed to remain ever gallant.


godoffcuk 33M

3/28/2006 10:11 pm

Great writing, its nice to know that there is at least one women out there that notices the nice guys


SteveWheeler 36M
6 posts
3/28/2006 11:07 pm

thanks for the recognition of us nice guys.


BlackHeatLust 47M

3/30/2006 6:50 pm

This is a very insightful as well as thoughtful post Sarah. It is also nice to know that at least some females out there still believe in us nice guys and care enough to thank us on a site like this? I have nothing but much Love and Much respect for you as a person and I hope that you succeed in all of your life passions and pleasures as you make this journey in life in whatever you decide to do. Take cae always.


COOKINGMAN4 54M

3/31/2006 5:40 pm

I am amazed. Never before has someone put into words MY feelings. I'm not vindictive or ticked off about it, well, maybe a little. It just seems that so many women are like you say, self centered and unappreciatieve of the nice guy, that is until after. I've had a few, three or less, come back to me after a relationship is over and tell me, "I always liked the hunky guy with big money and material things but, they didn't treat me like you did". Why can't they see that in the present? You're right, we can't help ourselves, we are what we are. I have a mom and sister that taught me how to treat women, what they like, what they want. I guess their teachings were based on what the expected. That places them in the numbers of women that appreciate a good man, not a bad boy. I hope to meet a woman like you someday. Times running out quickly though so I'm not sure that will happen. I'm just impressed as hell that you have the insight at such a young age to realize what is real and what is reality. I hope you meet the man that fits your desires and treats you the way you deserve soon. AML - Scott


COOKINGMAN4 54M

3/31/2006 5:51 pm

BTW Sarah, If you do want to cry on someone's shoulder, I'm here. COOKINGMAN4.


blkhawk61 55M
2 posts
4/1/2006 1:56 pm

That is an excellent tribute where did you find it?


hangin4one2 48M

4/2/2006 3:34 am

What can I say .The story of my life used and abused.Maybe one day it will change I hope.


needin_you 40M
1 post
4/2/2006 9:16 pm

Sarah,
I think I love you!!! That is a wonderful post and I thought no one would ever realize what "nice guys" go through. I have always been a nice guy and guess what.....I'm still single. I guess one day, hopefully, someone like yourself will realize what a catch I am and give me the chance I need to show them I will make them happy! Thanks again for the post.....it made my day!


propersubd 42M

4/7/2006 6:11 am

bless you...i keep hoping everyday i will meet someone with that in mind and not seek too merely just abuse my nature.


ExtreamPleas1000 45M

4/8/2006 1:30 am

Sarah
Just wanted to say thanks but a little late, used to be a nice guy but found out that they not only don't finish last, because they don't finish at all. Learned thought life experiances to strike a balance of bad boy and nice guy. If you want to find the nice guy in me you have to get through the bad boy. It is crule but it works.


tallmysticman 59M

4/8/2006 7:55 pm

I just wanted to say " Thank You! ",....the one thing ive learned is, Love is a gift!,..it is not an obllgation.
And you are truely a Gift!
Thank You!,...
Rick.


gypsyeyesforu 62M

4/9/2006 10:12 am

To HELLYES1985,
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I think you are above the rest in knowing what matters to a persons soul. It's all in the details I have always believed. I am glad that there is someone who has finally noticed that there are men that are true gentleman through and through.

Maybe, it's because we were raised in a different generation and time when honor, integrity and a man's words and actions meant something.

gypsyeyesforu


rm_radioflyer71 45M
1 post
4/10/2006 10:42 am

good on yer girl a women who appreciates a nice guy.......if i had a £ for every girl who said "you're too nice thats why i can't see you anymore" i'd be a rich man!!
all the best!!
radioflyer71


birdmantweeter 50M

4/10/2006 3:28 pm

Wow !!
Now I understand


joysticktx 47M

4/14/2006 2:40 pm

I read this and just had to chime in. Because I have always been that 'nice guy'. To tell you the truth I hate it. In the past, I have fallen in love with girls only to stand by their side as their 'best friend' and coach them on how to go about getting some other guy. There was one that I was sure I'd end up marrying someday; she even had the gall to whisper in my ear that I would 'have my chance', while she got ready to go out with some other guy!! That broke my heart. That was about 15 years ago and it still hurts to think about it. And yeah I've heard the others too, "thanks for being my psychiatrist".. "you're like a brother to me"..."you're so sweet". I'm sick of it all!! Being nice has destroyed my life, driven a wedge between myself and family members, and has turned me into a social outcast. I try to be as rude and thoughtless as the 'popular guys' but I feel like I'm wearing a costume and people can see right through me. I guess I'm just born to fail. Not everybody can be succesfull. Thanks for the shout out. My heart goes out to all the 'nice guys and girls in the world'...


emmitt228 47M
2 posts
4/15/2006 9:22 pm

Its is nice to hear a beautiful woman encouraging men to be nice. Far to often in this world men feel like they won't get anywhere by being nice. We've all been down that round, to be good or evil, to be naughty or nice, to be a friend instead of a lover. I have come to my own conclusions on this matter, I am going to a be a nice guy. I might not look it, but I act it. I am a gentleman, I do open doors, pull out chairs, and compliment a lady even if she is 100. I refuse to be the person that I'm not, and I will say to you guys out there I am a nice guy that gets the girl. So thanks Sarah for being the real deal and recognizing the real men in this world.


rm_MasterZeine 55M

4/17/2006 7:20 am

Nice Sarah... and this is why i cringe when someone says i am nice.. lol and I laugh out loud when i hear a girl/lady say... why can't i meet any nice guys or I would just like to meet a nice guy. In most instances, women don't know what to do with a nice guy. How do i know? Cause i am a nice guy... used to be a lot nicer.. but seems being an ass gets you further. Since from most women I know as friends; are telling me about the last guy they dated.. what a jerk he was, how he treated them etc and what do they look for in the next guy. same thing. It has to do with your "confidence" blog. If a woman is confident in herself, she will realize that being treated nice and respectful is better in the long run. And will know what to do with a nice guy.


caveman197221 44M
32 posts
9/18/2006 7:40 am

Sarah, thank you for the recognition of nice guys. Apparantly there are more of us than I thought. The worst words that I have ever heard are "Your too good of a friend to date". It hurts.

Hopefully not too many guys do as I did and settle for the woman that they can get instead of waiting for the one they want. It leads to an unhappy life. That is why I am here.


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