Just confused  

H20DVL 52M
6 posts
5/14/2006 4:23 pm

Last Read:
5/14/2006 4:26 pm

Just confused


When it comes to women. I'm a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. I am very mild-mannered. Like most men I simply adore women. I can't think of anything else on God's green earth that I would rather look at. Women are like the finest art. They come in all shapes and sizes and there is someone out there that is looking for them. In telling my story the guys are going to say I'm stupid and the women--who knows (hence the title).

I like to think I'm a loyal and honest person, but after reading this I'm not sure. I am married to whom I thought was the love of my life. We have been married for 17 years. That in itself is an accomplishment. I have wanted to walk on numerous occasions, but every time I look at her I remember why I married her in the first place. I try not to lose sight of this because in today's society it is very easy to loose sight of the things that really matter. Take for instance why I am on this site. No matter how hard I try to work things out, I just am not getting the satisfaction (emotional or physical). And not to mention this site hasn't helped in that department, but I think that is more due to the fact that I won't act on an impulse. Believe you me there have been times. I even went as far as to meet someone from AAF. She was very nice, but I couldn't take the next step. Now before you go jumping to conclusion there has been straying on both sides--so it isn't like I haven't done it. Yes, we both know about each others infidelities. I was reading goddessofthedawn about fuck buddies (I will tackle this some other time). Before being sidetracked--why confused?

Well for 17 years I have been the guy opening doors, cooking and cleaning, spending time with the kids, running bubble baths, giving massages, kissing hello and goodbye (I never let a day start or end or a conversation end without telling her "I love you"), calling just to say "I love you" , and sending flower arrangements for everything from "thinking of you" to "I'm sorry". But I am made to feel as if none of it is good enough. Why???

Now there are some things that I am not proud of in this relationship, but putting her on a pedestal and first isn't one of them. I truly believe in letting your significant other know they are your every forethought. So how can I say that and be on this site or with the infidelities? Well in my case they happened during break ups. I just never deleted my account. So my question (which is also my blog) do women know what they really want?

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