nice guys ...  

Goldenhairgodess 63F
471 posts
5/29/2006 2:16 pm

Last Read:
11/7/2006 11:19 pm

nice guys ...

nice guys
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point.

This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who
hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores.

This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support.

This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern.

This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her
theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned,
this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it.

This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically
linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive personm in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor.

This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just
friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due.

And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already
puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks.
Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last
phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But
the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Repost this if you're a nice guy
Girls Repost if you're lookin for this/or appreciate these guys


rm_tmbg1978 38M
2 posts
6/1/2006 11:43 am

I feel that your comments are well earned and not addressed enough. There was one part that that you did leave out through. When the nice guy actually does find someone. Many times the women who sleep with the ass find a nice guy. But does it really work? Well it does work for a time. The beginning is total bliss. However what happens when the other person gets bored. Suddendly the nice guy ends up giving 110% when the other person has droped down to 30%. But foolish as it is the nice guy keeps on pushing on and putting everything they have into the relationship. Is this always the case? No. However, the nice guy never wants to believe that this could happen to them, even when it does.

Are there really women out there who would be perfect for this dying breed? If you find one please let me know. I have always been classified as a nice guy. I tried to be the ass at one point, but it wasn't me, and didn't work. So I guess I am doomed. But I shall raise a glass to the other nice guys in the world. May you find happiness in what ever form. As for me, you just have to take it one day at a time. Try to not let it get you down. Take some time for me and only me. That is all you really can do. I am just happy that someone has taken the time to remind the world that we are still around. Cheers!


Goldenhairgodess 63F
396 posts
6/2/2006 9:22 am

    Quoting rm_tmbg1978:
    I feel that your comments are well earned and not addressed enough. There was one part that that you did leave out through. When the nice guy actually does find someone. Many times the women who sleep with the ass find a nice guy. But does it really work? Well it does work for a time. The beginning is total bliss. However what happens when the other person gets bored. Suddendly the nice guy ends up giving 110% when the other person has droped down to 30%. But foolish as it is the nice guy keeps on pushing on and putting everything they have into the relationship. Is this always the case? No. However, the nice guy never wants to believe that this could happen to them, even when it does.

    Are there really women out there who would be perfect for this dying breed? If you find one please let me know. I have always been classified as a nice guy. I tried to be the ass at one point, but it wasn't me, and didn't work. So I guess I am doomed. But I shall raise a glass to the other nice guys in the world. May you find happiness in what ever form. As for me, you just have to take it one day at a time. Try to not let it get you down. Take some time for me and only me. That is all you really can do. I am just happy that someone has taken the time to remind the world that we are still around. Cheers!
tmbq1978;
Everyones experience is a unique and yet similar through life. I did not write that piece. Yet I do understand the jest of it and of your observations too.
No one is "all nice" or "all bad" we are all guilty of somethings and innocent of others. The bottom line is that we must be as complete of a person as we can be and set boundaries as to what we will or will not do to continue any relationship. If we lay expectations on another person, we will be let down sooner or later. There is no such thing as a 50/50 relationship. As time goes on and needs are changing we need to, at times deal with a 30/70 or even a 10/90. The successes are those who can hang in there till it evens out-and being honest with your partner about your needs but not deny their needs as a punishment or to demand them to comply. At least that is how I see it. My happiness is my responsibility and no one else's. Does that make sense?


honeypot7473 43F

6/2/2006 10:56 am

I agreed with you, so i reposted you nice guy post in my blog. I did of course give you the credit, I married a nice guy, and I have never been happier.You thoughts and heart are special in this world today, please don't ever change who you are.Thank you.


rm_tmbg1978 38M
2 posts
6/2/2006 4:56 pm

    Quoting Goldenhairgodess:
    tmbq1978;
    Everyones experience is a unique and yet similar through life. I did not write that piece. Yet I do understand the jest of it and of your observations too.
    No one is "all nice" or "all bad" we are all guilty of somethings and innocent of others. The bottom line is that we must be as complete of a person as we can be and set boundaries as to what we will or will not do to continue any relationship. If we lay expectations on another person, we will be let down sooner or later. There is no such thing as a 50/50 relationship. As time goes on and needs are changing we need to, at times deal with a 30/70 or even a 10/90. The successes are those who can hang in there till it evens out-and being honest with your partner about your needs but not deny their needs as a punishment or to demand them to comply. At least that is how I see it. My happiness is my responsibility and no one else's. Does that make sense?
It does make complete and total sense. And I guess I should apologize a little for letting my own bitterness at my current situtation spill over a little bit into your blog. I love the whole post. And your amended comments do ring true. You are the only one who truly can make you happy or not. Thank you for your understanding into the world that I live in. ^_^


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