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Single Dad finds life daunting ! But also fulfilling !
Single Dad finds life daunting ! But also fulfilling !
First: I have great respect for ALL single parents here in AdultFriendFinder and even those not here....
Second: I thank not only those who have read and responded to my Blog... but also to those who have read my other writings throughout this site. Of particular thanks are to those who have sent me personal notes... I am sorry if I have not gotten back to you. I have been amazed at how many I have gotten and am a bit overwhelmed. TO those I have actually had a live conversation with I am going to post my personal "situation" below but I have to be a bit covert in how I do it because I don't want to involve other people .
I am a single daddy... I am a stay at home / work at home dad who has a stay at home (no.. she is not in school) daughter. She has been diagnosed over the years with ADHD and Asperger's syndrome (high functioning autism) she is sweet, loving and an overall good kid... and I love her to death (well I don't want to kill her just love her).
She recently has had other problems and we are now in the process of getting those taken care of and properly diagnosed. Hearing loss in both ears (partial and fluctuating ) and vision problems, and we suspect Cushing's disease. From that we believe a lot of her problems have ensued, to wit, a pituitary gland problem (most likely small tumors ... usually benign) in her brain. Severe headaches, and fatigue are common every day.
My Daughter T was a 14 week Preemie and under 2 pounds when she was born.
The shocker to most people is: I am not her real Biological father... I met her mother when T was 5 months old... and since there was no father on the birth certif. we put my name as father after her mom and I were married.
I have sole legal and physical custody of T. Mom has supervised visitation only.
I do not want to diss the mom. She was a great Mother, friend and wife for 11 years..... but she would sometimes get depressed. Finally we got her doctor to prescribe anti depressants for her.... however every other month she would need the dosage increased. That was our down fall. As I see it now... she was actually Bi-Polar and the anti depressants changed her completely.
I used to travel the world Monday to Thursday 2 or 3 times a month for work. After the 4th increase of anti depressants ... when I would go away... mom would go out and sometimes not come home... so I stopped my work and began to stay at home for the kids (yea there were more than one... but all are safe elsewhere... we had 4 daughters between us.
Mom started having a "friend" and he would sometimes come to the house... and I later found out her was a sex offender and that is where she would not only so and spend nights and some weekends out,... but sometimes took the kids there.
When I confronted her on this I was hit by her and received my final gift... seven stitches in my head and 3 ruptured discs in my neck... Naturally we got divorced and I got custody... and no I did not hit her back... but I wanted to.
In the last 2 and a half years the mother has only visited the child one time... despite me leaving a plane ticket when we went back to Cali, she used that ticket to go to NY for a party. So I moved back east to Georgia less than 300 miles from Sarasota Florida.... but she only came on Good Friday because she was on lithium and started to think right... but she was sooo lethargic (so she said that she took herself off her meds and went back to whatever she was doing... despite the medical problems of T... mom has not called since May and has changed her phone number,, so... it is just T and me together.
I will be honest... I do miss the way that mom was... but after almost 3 years... I never expect her to "get better" or now even to be a mom again. T with her problems and while she is chronologically almost 15 now.. is really mentally about 8. her "problems" have given her a secret blessing in that she does not think of her mom much and therefor does not have the compunction to miss her mom.
So T an I live her by ourselves... and now I am not going to wait for mom to be a mom any longer and am about to move... hopefully to Long Beach, maybe to Athens (Georgia not Greece...lol) or who knows where. T thinks we should move to Denver because of soccer and because it is hot for singles... yet she does not let me really date (how Ironic). Me i like warm.. but cold is great for snuggling in front of a fire.
No matter where we move to I know a few important things.... I will always take care and love T.... And we will always be a family.... and I will always take care of her (she may never be self sufficient) and I may never be able to sleep in the nude again with her home (lol).
Why do I belong to AdultFriendFinder... I have always been a people person.. I have always enjoyed Sexuality and SENSUALITY (yea some call it foreplay...lol) and I do get lonely for female companionship... I am not looking for a new mother for T... I am looking for a person or persons I can share adult things with and hopefully travel with... I can expect no more and it is unfair for me to say I can give more.
SO... now you know a lot more about me then my neighbors... not quite as much as my friends....
I am called Lucifer by my ex... but as much as it hurts... well I know I AM DOING THE RIGHT THING FOR A CHILD THAT REALLY NEEDS ME AND THAT I LOVE.
to let you know... I do believe
Maybe this is too much for AdultFriendFinder... ( and I certainly not looking for a mercy fuck) but if nothing else I believe that honesty has its own rewards and if you like me... then you like ME... and if you are my friend with or without benefits then you will be my friend...
Way too much for one day... maybe 2 or more before I write again... Mr. C
11/9/2005 12:18 pm
I just recently started reading your blogs.
And my heart goes out to your daughter.
Because it is her who will suffer because of her mothers mental illness.
I also suffer from depression. However sometimes it's my 3 kids who keep me sane and around for them. I know now that I can never be without my meds. (My doctor also recomended that as well.)
And as another stay at home parent 24/7 365 I know how you feel in a way. (Only my oldest is in school.) However today I also have a meeting with our local school about my middle child. He will start kindergarden next year. But I also suspect he might be ADHD. And I'll be talking with the pre-school teacher there about having him tested. (He goes to a different preschool right now.)
But I've also spent years working with people who were devolpemntal disabled. (It bothers me when people use the "r" word.) I truely loved that job. Not something many did. Because it ment not only working with them at their home, but also making sure they got out in the community often as well. Something I did all the time. But they were older people than your daughter.
I learned a lot working there. And know you can't take life for granted.
Not to mention that my hubby is not the biological father of my oldest child. Her biological father left long before. And when my daughter was about 4 months old, my now hubby legally adopted her as his own. So hugs to you for doing that. It's not blood that counts it's the relationship that means the most.
HUGS to your daughter
she sounds precious
I look forward to reading more of your blogs as you write them.
Since you said you were not going to write much for anouther couple of days. Here is a thought for the next time you do write. How about something happy. Something that is special to you. A memory that is cherished that you would like to share.