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Info On Swing Clubs
Info On Swing Clubs
So You Want to Try a Swing Club
We're not sure there is such a thing as a guide to swinging. If you do it, you really just learn as you go. This is not researched to any great extent. It is based on what we have found from personal experience and there is so much more to not only consider, but to discover. This is primarily about swing clubs and although there is mention of singles, it is really geared to couples. Really though, the rules, if you want to call them that, are similar. This is written only to see if you're interested and, if so, the rest of what you need to know is available on-line or through personal discovery. Our hope is you will find it informative.
Okay, so you want to try the swinging lifestyle-now what? Please keep in mind everything written here is based on personal observation and experience by going to clubs. Swinging is not like an over-sized t-shirt where "one size fits all." What works for one person or couple will not necessarily work for another person or couple. In fact, it shouldn't. If it did, there wouldn't be the diversity the various clubs offer. So, take from this what you will and remember it's written in general terms and is not meant to be an exhaustive treatise on the subject by any means. That, if you elect to engage in this activity, you can write later.
However, before beginning, let us share our thoughts on one thing. Swinging is often referred to as a "lifestyle." Some even refer to it as an "alternative lifestyle." We completely discount the latter because of the "alternate" and essentially reject the former by way of definition. The most common definition of a lifestyle is a way of life or style of living that reflects the attitudes and values of a person or group. By this, definition, it would seem to be the main focus of one's life. Our preference is to think of it as only a part of our life together, but certainly not the focus of it. Still, experience indicates for some it the focal point and we guess is truly a lifestyle for those persons. That however connotes to us something more than it should ever be. For us, swinging is more accurately defined as a form of recreational social and sexual behavior between consenting adults-but nothing more. We're not sure if there is a consensus regarding this except to us it does mean one thing; it is not going to interfere with our personal relationship and if it appeared at anytime it would, the so-called lifestyle for us is over. Our relationship together is more important to us than any interlude with another person or couple.
The last statement is a personal one by and between us and not wholly the theme of this writing, although the thought pervades the article anyway. Our real goal is not to make people so much aware of swing clubs, which we take as a given, but to let others know what goes on so an opinion of giving one a try can be formed by the reader.
Before making the decision to go to a swing club, while there are many considerations we can't begin to cover here, it's important to know at least three concepts. There is soft, open and closed swinging and each is distinct and as a couple in particular, important to know which one is best suited for you. Soft-swinging is essentially one that encompasses, or can, everything sexual but stops short of actual sexual intercourse with other partners. Closed swinging is sexual interaction among couples using separate rooms and open swinging refers to two or more couples participating in sexual acts in the same room. The latter two obviously do not exclude the joining of single person, generally a male, in the activities whereas the first implies it does but wouldn't necessarily preclude a single person being involved.
The differences would seem to be self-evident. Soft-swinging may satisfy the voyeuristic and/or exhibitionist tendencies of a couple and certainly cuts down the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. Closed swinging obviously provides the most privacy and open swinging the least privacy. Now from here you can get into sub-categories such as watersports, BDSM, etc. Of course, you have to find a club to go to but we're leaving that part up to the reader.
At the same time, just a brief overview of clubs is important. Generally clubs come in two types. There are those defined as on-premises and there are off -premises clubs. The latter is typically a party in a private home or hotel while the former is simply a club with private and public areas for engaging in a brief sexual interlude with others. In this writing, we're dealing only with the on-premises club because that's been the extent of our experience to date. It, in our opinion, offers a night club or bar atmosphere for meeting like minded persons and more than that, it seems to provide the safest environment to indulge in your sexual fantasies and beyond.
What types of people will you find at a club? It may depend on the club as some do cater to persons seeking a specific type of activity. Generally though, swingers come from all walks of life, races, and socio-economic backgrounds. There are those that feel people going to clubs are interested in exploring their sexual fantasies and that may very well be true. We have heard it said swingers are more honest with themselves and others and tend to have better communication skills with their partners than most couples. While communication between partners is essential, to boldly state it is better between a swinging couple than a non-swinging couple would seem to us to be bullshit. What kinds of people won't you find? Although there are always those singles and couples that describe themselves as looking for other people they can have a relationship outside of the swing club, we haven't met those people as yet. It seems to be more of a one night stand and then people move on. In the grand scheme of things, this may not be a bad thing. If it's more recreational, it becomes or is, devoid of deep emotional attachment, so it makes sense. This does not however mean it can't happen-we just haven't as yet found it to be the case.
When looking for a club, do some research. You can use the Internet as a good starting point or you get magazines that cater to the so-called "lifestyle." One thing it would appear most clubs have in common is the requirement you must contact the management first before going. When you do finally arrive, you most likely will be given a tour. If you're thinking, or especially hoping, you're going to see naked people running around engaged in sex acts, you'll be somewhat disappointed-at least at first. This should not be taken as a blanket statement you won't, because at some point you no doubt will persons in public areas. As an aside, a few days before this will be actually posted to Literotica, one of us was engaged in a limited threesome on a sofa in main area and plenty of people stood around watching two women and a man engage in oral sex.
Most clubs belong to NASCA. NASCA describes itself as an association of clubs, events, services and others related to the swinger/lifestyle community. Incidentally, if you really don't know how to find a club, this is one place to look. Clubs affiliated with NASCA are generally EOLO-Equal Opportunity Lifestyle Organizations. Please understand this does not mean what one would probably first believe. It seems almost all clubs have rules prohibiting male to male contact. Female contact with another female seems rarely discouraged. It sounds like an equal protection violation of the 14th Amendment doesn't it! That last comment is tongue in cheek because the 14th Amendment obviously apply so don't go out and file a lawsuit if you're male and you get thrown out of a club for having, or trying to have, contact with another male. EOLO really is a way of letting members or potential members the club is open to all races and nationalities. Going back to the male to contact being prohibited and female to female almost encouraged, that is not always case. There are some clubs that cater to same sex, either gender, or open up a particular night for it. The important message here is to read the rules of the club y