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The Animal Within
The Animal Within
I have now had a few dates since I joined AdultFriendFinder. Each lady, in her own way, has complimented me on what a gentleman I am. I thank them very much for the adulation. However, I must confess that being a gentleman is a struggle. My baser urges are constantly at odds with my desire to show the respect each lady deserves.
Until, relatively recently, I had sworn off pursuing any further romantic relationships in my life. After my heart had been broken time and again, I was dispirited. I imposed celibacy on myself, fearing emotional entanglement with a sexual partner. There were times that one lady or another would send such strong signals that even someone as dense as me could pick up on them. However, I resisted the urge to ask them out and to bed.
In my weaker moments, I would have a lunch or dinner date with a lady and each time they would explain that they just wanted to be friends or that they just were not interested in a relationship at that time. My reaction was that I was foolish for even thinking about trying to have a meaningful relationship, that I was damned to a life alone. In truth, I was damned, but I damned myself by giving up or setting parameters for finding love. After an acquaintance recently suffered a series of tragic events, I was jolted into realizing that I was not doing myself any favors by isolating myself from the outside world and the possibilities it brings.
Now that I am trying again and seeing interest from some very sexy, beautiful ladies, my spirits are lifted. However, my libido is also awakening. Like a caged animal seeing an opportunity for escape, the urge to take a woman in my arms and ravish her with romance is struggling against the restraints of my own civil sensibility. Even as I write this, I feel the tightening in my chest, my pulse quickens, and my breathing grows ragged. I am certain that I can continue to constrain the beast within. I will not make an unwanted pass; I will not pressure a lady for sex. However, when the right lady decides that I am the right one, she is going to cut the ties that bind the animal within and we shall see what happens…