My past  

Gemini_62 29F
51 posts
4/3/2006 8:50 am

Last Read:
4/23/2006 11:27 pm

My past

Hi everyone, this is Amber typing for ash as she wants to start a
blog but doesnt quite know how to go about it.

So me being the wonderful and multitalented person that i am is
going to type for her, but also speak for her in her own words
about her life and experiences.. kinda like a narrator...
here goes....

For those who think they know me, and those that dont, im Ash, and if you don't like me then i dont really care...

Thats the kinda person i am.

I've had a bit of a tough upbringing, and that plays a big part in my attitude towards life.
Im young, sometimes niave. And sometimes i hate the world and wish everyone would just leave me the fuck alone.

My mother is a bitch, and i hate her for the way she treated me as a child, most of my family dont give a shit about me and that hurts.
Sometimes i cry about it, sometimes i get real angry and need to find a punching bag quick!
But as confused and angry and hurt as i am, i still sometimes feel like i missed out on things that other 'normal' people did.

I've been angy and hurt most my life, being bounced around from a few foster homes, and have had many people give up on me and walk away or leave me because they dont understand or 'get' me.

I cling onto whatever happiness i can, because im afraid that when i wake up tommorow it could be gone, because this seems to be the way that my life has gone so far.

Yeah i have an attitude problem, and sometimes i speak to people the wrong way, or get on the defensive very easy, but please understand that this is because it has been my way of dealing with life and situations that have backed me up against a wall.

I feel alone sometimes, i feel like no one gives a shit about me... but im slowly learning to deal with things better now as i am recieving help and advice from a wonderful older friend who means the world to me.

She is teaching me things about life and people that no one else has had the patience to teach me. And even though sometimes it seems like im not listening, or i do the wrong thing time and time again, its because im learning.

you can tell me its wrong, but i wont know that till i experience it myself.

meerkittykat 42F

4/3/2006 9:24 am

Welcome to blogland, Ash and Amber...

Hope you find whatever you seek.


Gemini_62 29F
24 posts
4/3/2006 11:16 am

Hey thnx guys.

imsohorny19822 34F
1728 posts
4/3/2006 3:58 pm

Hey Ash, nice to see another one of us with a blog.

LIfe can really kick us in the guts sometimes, believe me, i understand, but sometimes, you need to just kick it right back. Keep your chin up. I think you have a wonderful friend in Amber, hold on to her.

Catch up with you at the next drinks night hopefully.


Gemini_62 29F
24 posts
4/4/2006 2:23 am

Hey ally..

Yeah i shal hold on 2 er and bloody oath ul c me at the nxt drinks night..

AussieCuckold 53M/41F

4/4/2006 8:49 am


Loved reading about this real side of you Ash.

As much hurt as you have had, as much as you put walls up, I only have one bit of motherly advice, start knocking thm down, while you are young enough to repair you hurt and disapointment.

I have seen too many people let their 'old' life dictate the chips on their shoulders in their new. You are special, you shine and you are alive and well. THAT is the only thing you need to know.

That and we care about you (even though I have ZERO credit on my phone and haven't replied yet. So sorry)


Gemini_62 29F
24 posts
4/4/2006 10:59 am

Hey, Ur soooo sweet me luvs u and matty.
cant wait to c u on the 21) and wenevva the nxt drinx nite is on matty i betta meet u soon the curiousity is killin me. tht damn wives
tale is true lol.

thnx beckie 4 the advice.
kissz and all the hugs in the world!!
p.s beckie did u read the 1 bout mez an chris..

rm_MustangD6644 51M
1031 posts
4/4/2006 10:19 pm

Welcome to Blogland Ash;

Use your blog to vent some of the pain and hurt and get it out of your mind. Very therapeutic.

As for the anger and hurt there are ways to deal with it so that it does not consume you and your life.

Remember Its your Life YOU CONTROL IT. Dont allow KAOS to win.


Gemini_62 29F
24 posts
4/5/2006 6:11 am

yer thnx mustang..

u sound sweet the lot of u.

rm_scottben2 37M
4 posts
4/10/2006 12:56 am

Hi Ash sorry to hear about your recent relationship as you know i understand. about that other post about me , no offence taken.

Hope that everything works out for you and might see you one day again at another drinks night

keep punchin

Gemini_62 29F
24 posts
4/10/2006 3:55 pm

hehe scotty.
Come to the nxt 1 and i should c u there weve got the rel bak together but im not really understandin him at the moment.
yer im real sorry bout tht txt its jusst i really do understand *lol*

SirMounts 102M

4/23/2006 3:13 pm

Well, I think it's an old Norwegian saying that goes... "Whatever doesn't kill you, just makes you stronger." Always keep that strength, to get you through life's difficulties.
Welcome to blogging, ash. Um... and you too, Amber. *wink*

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