My story, formerly my profile...  

Galant-passion 54M
3 posts
7/7/2006 9:54 pm
My story, formerly my profile...

I took this out of my profile, but thought I'd preserve it here, for the curious.

Twenty-six years ago I met the love of my life, my soul mate, my perfect match. Six years later after dating each other, dating others and spending time apart, we came back together, more convinced than ever that we had been right at the start.

We did everything together and shared a unique view on a future of sexual adventure—we would do everything, experience everything—always together. We swung together, invited friends into our bed, went to adult movies, shopped for dildos and went to nude beaches. Everything we experienced together made us stronger as a couple…we were experiencing sensuality more intensely than one person could alone.

And then gradually, but unknown to us at the time, the same condition that eventually took her father’s life stripped away her desire. Adventures became less and less frequent, and then disappeared. Then sex became an increasingly infrequent interest, then a chore until making love was an exceptional event, undertaken more from pity and guilt than from any real interest. We ultimately came to recognize the disease and stopped it before it could shorten her life, but it’s too late to rebuild the desire that was lost along the way.

But I haven’t changed…not that much, I’m still within ten pounds of the trim weight I was in college, and new acquaintances frequently express shock that I have a child ready to start college soon—I just don’t look old enough, they say.

More importantly, though, I still have my teenage libido and the sexual curiosity of my college days…I still yearn for the sense of adventure and the sensual exploration.

It won’t be—can’t be—with my beloved wife…years of couples and individual therapy have eliminated the false hope of deep and meaningful change for either of us.

And yet I feel that I cannot continue this way either. I’ve come here in the hope that I can satiate my needs without harming what we have together. I’m hoping I can be with someone who truly desires me—sexually—for who I am, and not from obligation.

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