Things guys shouldn't do  

179 posts
3/5/2006 10:06 am

Last Read:
3/11/2006 9:33 am

Things guys shouldn't do best friend is an active blogger here.....and just thougt I would start trying to put some thoughts down.

Met a guy Friday nite.....went okay.....walked me to my car.....kissed me.....said we would see each other again. Sent him a nice email thanking him for coming out to the club and that I hoped to see him again......and nothing.....not even now 48 hours later....though he has been on the site where the email was several times over the weekend.


1. Don't tell her you will see her again....if you don't mean it. We are big girls.....don't tell us what you think we want to hear....tell us the truth...or don't commit to seeing again at all. It is a much kinder way.

2. If she emails you...give her the courtesy of a reply. Don't just blow her off. Many of us are very nice people....and we all deserve the respect.

_Safira 53F
11260 posts
3/6/2006 12:17 pm

I am sooooooooo pimping this in my blog post later tonight! Welcome to Blogville, my dear, dear friend! I love you!

This is my blog - Comes With Warning Labels. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

RECOMMENDED READING: A F F ... The Only Site For Me?

Sariel1122 51M

3/6/2006 3:33 pm

It's just as hard for guys to do that sort of thing as it is for women... I mena, is there a "polite" way to tell someone you're not into them? That sparks didn't fly for you? I think people (not just guys) do it that way for two reasons:

1) Most of us don't know how to be "diplomatic" about telling someone there's no attraction... I don't know about anyone else, but despite my age, and relative maturity, and the number of these things I've been involved in, phrases like "There's no attraction...", "You're not really my type..." and other similar things still translates to my as-yet-untamed id as "I don't find you attractive"... I think we must think, at least subconsciously, that people would rather hear nothing at all than hear something that may attack their ego.

2) The Stalker Factor: I have been on the recieving end of this one myself. I actually was a stand-up guy, and told the lady after our first date that I really wasn't feeling it after that first meeting, I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but it just wasn't there for me... let's just say the lady didn't take it very well, and the phone calls started, the harrassing e-mails... it wasn't pleasant at all. I stopped dating for a few months because of it, in fact.

The problem is, that same ego that doesn't want to be hurt is still just a primal thing, and cars nothing for the psychology of life; it really hates to be ignored, which is what this amounts to. It's kind of a lose-lose situation there, because what the ego demands ends up hurting it either way. I know I would have liked to hear something back from the couple dozen contact mails I sent out, but alas, I didn't...


3/6/2006 4:40 pm

Sariel: You are so right on both factors. I..too...was the subject of one who didn't take the "I don't think we are right for each other" answer well....and in fact was scared for a week and walked around with my cell phone in my hand to call my best friend or son should the need arise.

But I do try to answer all emails....and after a date I always send a follow up email....even if it's just to say thank you for a good time. I don't like to have people wondering what went wrong or where things stand.

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