|Blogs > Frnds4Play > Sparks and Rivulets|
I am wondering why some men just never learn to make love to a woman.
This blog is not about Stan. He is a wonderful lover and worth the wait.
I am going to talk about the other's. The ones that won't listen to their partner, that insist they know it all, and god forbid you tell them differently.
My husband couldn't learn, I certainly tried enough times to teach him but he always went back to his old ways. Sort of a wham bam thank you, roll over and go to sleep thing, once a week and one time only if I was lucky.
For me a gentle touch is awesome. You can get more out of me with gentle manipulation than you can if you bang away with your finger or cock, or suck on my clit till it hurts. I am not saying that rough sex isn't fun, sometimes.
I was with a man a few years ago that told me "if you want something let me know" and "if I am hurting you, let me know". Well, I took him at his word and told him, I wanted this instead of that and what did I get for it. He got hurt. I hurt is feelings and sex with him from that time on wasn't as good.
The photo on this blog shows a woman's neck. That part of my neck is extremely sensitive and if a man blows on me their, or rubs his chin against me their it sends shivers through my body. I love it. My back and butt are sensitive, as is the back of my neck. My inner upper arms are just as sensitive.
But most men don't go their. Why?
As for men and their fingers, whatever happened to cutting your fingernails? and cleaning the dirt out of them before being with someone.
Why do some (not many) men know exactly where to touch a woman inside her pussy and others don't? Why do some men think that squeezing the tit hard enough to leave bruises ok?
Why don't men accept what a woman tells them. I would think that they would appreciate it.
I am just wondering
Take care everyone
5/30/2006 1:17 pm
Probably because most men get their sexual-technique education from fourth-rate porn films. Softcore does a better job of highllighting foreplay (not by much, but better than nothing), but since it's all tailored to fit the fantasies of mysoginist heterosexuals, the majority of men truly believe what they see on film is how they should behave. |
5/31/2006 9:46 am
I would like to take a moment to respond to your blog. I'm 49 years old I found out early on that making love to the woman was an art to be practiced in a wide range of environments. I believe most men don't realize that a woman's body tells them things as they touch them caress them and taste them. Every woman is quite unique as to what part of their body excites and it's being able to see the reaction to those touches that makes the orgasm much better or multiple orgasms. This applies to women young and old it takes a real artist to satisfy a woman to the point of total exhaustion. I know this three by the number of partners that immediately fell asleep after a lovemaking session.|
6/1/2006 12:56 am
Great post, Kat! You know how I feel about this. Have a lovely day, hun, me|
6/1/2006 2:03 am
A really profound post, kat. If my ideas about sex have evolved over the years they have moved to sex being a very intimate form of communication. Sex with different partners is as different as a conversation with different partners would be and it's having the emotional and interpersonal intelligence to be aware of that that makes sex good.|
What's more even though a person might be a highly skilled communicator it doesn't mean s/he doesn't miss a cue, say the wrong thing and misinterpret from time to time, and this happens in sex as well. Of course the stronger the rapport, the closer the emotional bond, the greater the empathy the better the sex will be, as partners learn about each other, not simply the techniques.
Simply focusing on technique is a bit like knowing how to say things to people, but not really knowing what to say. When men rate themselves as lovers they often, but not always, refer to aspects of technique rather than the depth of communication that occurred. That's not to say that technique doesn't matter - it does - but it does not go far enough to make great sex.
You just need to watch men and women talking to see the analogy at work. Or couples that have been together for years don't only often become stilted in their sex lives, but even moreso in their daily talk and the adventures those conversations are (or not, as more often is the case).
So if sex with every person is different then we are lifelong learners in love and we're eternally learning from each other. Perhaps the male ego at times finds this humility hard, but the paradox is that it is precisely this that a real man should be.