My Feelings about The Lifestyle  

Frnds4Play 52M/62F
2686 posts
8/14/2006 8:27 am
My Feelings about The Lifestyle

I had always known that I was monogamous. One man at a time for me, so when I met Stan and we hit it off in more ways than one I knew I was headed for trouble.

Stan was interested in women that could put up with his lifestyle. Swinging, and although I had thought about sex with another woman, or sex in a group I really never thought it would come to pass.

I am not, oops should say was not with a lot of men. 5 including Stan up until we started going to the swinging parties. Not a lot for my age. Not by todays standards. By yesteryear's standards meaning that I grew up during a time when sex wasn't seen or heard about and certainly not done until you were married, I was a slut.

Stan and I started off on my journey of experiencing more of what life has to over. First off I had to get over being nude in a room full of people that I had never met before and because I am overweight that added to the problem for me. My fears came screaming to the surface. Fears of rejection.

Then their was my first 4 some. Ah yes I was expecting more than what I felt. So I began to feel there was something wrong with me. Why couldn't or didn't I feel anything. Don't get me wrong here. I have many orgasms, but that was from oral stimulation not from having another guys cock inside of me.

As time went on and we had more experiences and my feelings stayed the same I started getting really worried. In a room full of naked people having sex it seemed I was the only one that didn't get off through penis, Vagina stimulation. More worries arose for me. Was this normal? Was I ever going to feel anything with a man other than Stan?

I enjoyed the parties on a different level it seemed than most everyone else. I loved, absolutely love being in a room full of naked people. I love the openness, the comradery, the being able to talk about anything without worrying and I love being comfortable in my body for the first time ever. Amazing.

So I talked with Stan and I did a lot of thinking and have decided not to worry about it so much.

For me to have a complete sexual experience I need more than what I thought the average woman needed. I need a CONNECTION with the person I am fucking.

I give totally to one man. He gets all of me not just a part. We have to be friends as well, we have to be able to talk to each other. What friends/lovers are like. I am in a committed relationship and with that I am a whole woman and he gets all of me not just a part. That's what makes it for me. I have stopped worrying.

As for the parties I miss them. We haven't been going the last couple of months because it is way too hot in the Phoenix area for me. I am waiting for the cooler months to come around again. We are looking at September. Hopefully the upper 90's instead of triple digits.


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