FriendsNMore22 53F
37 posts
12/3/2005 5:29 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


Today was a fun day. I went to Sarasota with a friend. We went to an Arts and Craft festival. Then drove to Passagrille beach and had a late lunch at Sea Kritters. Driving back to my friend's house I received a call from my dad. They live in NC, but I talk to them at least once a week. But it's usually my mother who calls and then my dad will get on the phone after we've chatted. But this time it was my father. I knew something must have been wrong and I was right. My mother had a mild heart attack in the middle of the night. They will be doing an angoplasty(?) on her monday to check out the blockage.

That word scares me. I remember years ago when my grandmother had that same procedure, and died during it.

This month scares me too. My brother passed away two years ago, on December 18th. He was 38.

I brought him to the hospital on December the 8th. On the 9th they were going to perform emergency open heart surgery, but they couldn't. Because his kidneys failed. So they had to have a machine pump blood to his heart and wait to see if kidney dialysis would work. Then they ended up putting him on a ventilator and he didn't make it.

It seems my brother had been having mild heart attacks, but this asshole of a dr. that he had said it was anxiety and put him on paxil. My brother was a diabetic since the age of 8. Many have said that when you are a diabetic, the pain of a heart attack isn't as extreme as a person without diabetes. But you would think a dr. would have performed other tests since the paxil wasn't helping him !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I talked with my mother and she said that she feels fine. Deep down, I guess I know that everything will be ok. But I can't help being nervous. I can't help remembering my grandmother, remembering how we all thought it was going to be a simple procedure.

Although it was about 10 years ago, I can remember the day so clearly. We were in NY for my other grandmother's funeral. My mother's mother. And we stayed at my father's brother's house. We were supposed to come back to Florida that day, but then received word that my other grandmother passed away. They lived in Florida at the time, so they shipped her body up to NY and my other relatives that lived here flew up for the funeral. So, both of my grandmothers died within a week of each other.

Thinking about death is not helping me. I have to stop. I have to think positive thoughts. I just think maybe I would feel better if this happened in another month. I know that probably sounds strange, but I do.

rm_ron33983 70M

12/11/2005 10:10 am

Try thinking about the good times you shared and the fun you all had. Just becuase they are not here doesn't mean they are not with you.

A friend once asked me how I dealt with my Dads passing .....I said oh he's around he just doesn't call as often as he used too LOL

rm_honeybear2k 61M

12/25/2005 2:47 pm

I lost my daughter to brain cancer 2 years ago. It does not do you anygood to bring this to mind, just think good thoughts and have happy times and try not to look back.


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