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Relationship goals vs. Sexual appetite
Relationship goals vs. Sexual appetite
Is there a difference when it comes to relationship goals vs. sexual appetite? Or should ones sexual appetite be very much considered as part of a relationship goal? I think that sexual appetite should be part of ones relationship goal. Ya we've all heard the phrases "can't you love me for my mind and not my body", or "it's not the size that matters but how you work it". Let's be honest here. If people really felt that way about the other person to where "size doesn't matter" or "can't you love me for my mind" then physical attraction would never matter in a relationship now would it. We have all seen a couple and asked ourselves (aloud or quietly) "What do they see in each other". When the two people met it could have been under ANY kind of circumstance. Blind date, matchmaking services, bar scene or even happenstance. Whatever the case the end result is still the same, they are together. When we think of someone as pretty, cute, hunk, nerd or what ever the case may be there has to be some sort of attraction. Be it physical or personality there must be some sort of attraction. It is when people start to get to know one another that the sexual appetite comes into play. Ones sexual appetite can either draw them closer or shy them away. Let's say for example that we have a couple. Her name is Mary and his name is Bob (these names are fake and for example purposes only). Well if Mary is prude and Bob is a nymph, how long do you think the relationship will last before they break up or Bob cheats on Mary? Not long I would think. So you see, this is how I feel that sexual appetite is just as important in a relationship as the first attraction be it physical or personality that attracted them together in the first place.
I started my account here on this site to try to find someone that might be able to fit my appetite sexually. While at the same time hopeful that that person does exist that may fit the description of a relationship mate for me. I am not a nymph nor am I a prude individual but I do know what I want. I broke up with my (at the time) fiancée on 7/21/05 because her father called my mother to ask what was going on between her and I (we had an argument earlier that day). I thought to myself, why is her dad calling my mother to find out what was going on with my 26 yr old fiancée and I and didn't call me to find out from the horses mouth as they say? It was at this point I decided that I could not continue in this relationship with her. We only had sex on average once about every month and a half. Being engaged and thinking that after we were married the sex would be less, the aspect that she always wanted to go out together with friends and not have any quality "us" time (sex or no sex) bothered me to the point that I ended the relationship.
When it comes to relationship goals we need to ask ourselves what is it we truly want in our mate. And what can our mate offer us. Both in companionship and in the bedroom. If they are willing to go out and have fun with friends and the like, then no problem there. However, if that is ALL there wanting to do and they want to call you boyfriend/girlfriend without quality "alone" time (sexual or not), then they are leading the other on. They are not only leading the other on but they are also leading a false sense of security for themselves. A boyfriend/girlfriend relationship without quality "alone" time (with or without sex) is nothing more then a friendship at most. It is when it goes into the bedroom that the other can get to know the others sexual desires and over time there sexual appetite. Consider Mary and Bob (our fictitious couple). If they were to get married and not venture into the bedroom till then, how well do you think that the marriage will go?
Sexual appetite and desire should be (in my opinion) very much considered in relationship goals and not tabooed as society would suggest. If we, as individuals are open and honest, not only to others, but also to ourselves then we could obtain and maintain good relationship with each other. Physical attraction or personality attraction is only the beginning part of a relationship. It is however the easiest part of it all though. Relationships take allot of work and compromise from both parties involved. If one is unwilling to do either then the other needs to ask, is it worth pursuing a mate of this kind.
Please feel free to share your comments on this topic.