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If I could Choose Again....
If I could Choose Again....
If I could choose again - I'd still choose you~
When I was in a 'relationship' with the EX boyfriend, I found this lil' calligraphy with the above saying on it and gave it to him for Christmas one year.
It meant alot to me to buy this and it took alot for me to give it to him - that meant that I finally felt like I was giving him my heart, my ENTIRE heart and soul, which I dont give very well.
When things started to go to shit, I did something that probably wasnt right...but it felt right at the time. He had this on his dresser, and as I was making sure all my belongings were out of his house, I packed this lil framed saying up in my bag.
What the hell was he gonna do with it? Pack it in a box? Throw it away? IT meant alot to me to have bought this and I wasnt going to let it just be tossed away - like my feelings had been.
I was cleaning out dresser drawers today and I found this framed saying ~ I got a lump in my throat thinking about how much this had meant to me. And then I got to thinking about it ~
For my married readers of my blog ~ would you choose your s/o again - if you had a choice?
At the time I bought this - most definetly yes.....but as I make my way in the dating world again - I think of this saying and wonder if there is someone out there that I would truly feel this way about ever again?
The truth is - I dont think I EVER want to feel this way about someone again.
5/15/2005 7:46 am
No, having made the decision, and having had good reasons for that decision, I'd never go back.|
5/15/2005 1:22 pm
It is losing a trusted friend, even if you are good with it. You feel betrayed by a trusted lover even if the fire has gone out it is a loss. Marriage is not what it once was. No one is ever satisfied. “The ASS always looks better on the other mans Fiancée” |
5/18/2005 4:11 am
Marriage doesn't mean a thing to most people any longer...it's not a commitment, more a way of dividing the mortgage. Sad really. My wife and I have gone through some major league shit over the past few years but we're still together (somehow) and determined to make it work but it still isn't easy - society puts too much stress on people nowadays vis a vis expectations and simply the pressure to be able to provide for your family in a world where wages never keep pace with inflation. |
If, knowing what I know now, I went back and had to choose again...yeah, I'd still choose to be with my wife because the good times have been REALLY good and I wouldn't give that up for anything. Even if we had split up, my answer would be the same for the same reasons. It's better not to regret but, instead, to learn and move forward. However, if you asked my wife the same question, I think her answer would be an emphatic "NO!"...but such is life.
5/20/2005 2:48 pm
Yes...without a doubt I would. Even after the problems and some hard times (hey with 5 kids and 1000 miles away from family who wouldn't have problems).|
But at the end...somedays...we might say to each other.."I Like you".. but hopefuly those are far and few apart.
I dont know what she would say, but the notes I write and the response I get says that maybe, just maybe she would say what she said 17 years ago....
It was "Of course...."
You have to realize...."Still choose.."...its more than a feeling...its a choice...
I choose to love...even on the god awful PMS days....
Or the days when shes sick in bed....
Or the days when the kids have put us in a bad mood...
It took me 6 years after High School...but she was worth it...
I only hope I am....
Here's to finding someone that you can "choose" over and over again...even on the bad days.......