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Freaking fraking and fretting
Freaking fraking and fretting
I have been out of sorts cos my puter here at home had gone on the fritz!
So, I get it back and started to roam the halls of AdultFriendFinder once again...
I know me...I go at everything I do full force...I started to chat again....started to peruse the profiles again...and I did it with a vengance.
And every time I do it...I get soo frustrated and disappointed that I shut down.
Here's my frettings:
1. The man I blogged about earlier in my anal story hurt my feelings very badly and made me feel very 'dirty'. I know that may be hard to believe...but I had thought that maybe this man thought of me as a decent person....and all he wants is a slut to train and be at his beck and call....I dont want that...and it made me feel ugly and hurt when he suggested that...that I wasnt good enough to just have a casual relationship with...that I obviously didnt enjoy certain parts of sex...cos I wasnt so into it while he was here...I was like A) - I really didnt wanna sleep with you right off the bat.....I wanted a lil more but I did it anyhow and - I am not so sure I am into this whole total dominant life style...its not something I am comfortable with...but then, that's all he wants from me....I see him chat with others in the chat room and he treats them all with respect (as he does me in chat) but I am not good enough for more than just to be controlled. I am not against learning a different lifestyle, hell, I might even like it, its just I felt so DEMEANED.
2. Met a fella via chat and we emailed and imed a bit....come to find out...he's engaged to a fellow chatter....but she's not enough for him and he's not enough for her...so they fuck other ppl...now...thats not what I am all about...a fuck buddy is one thing....but when I am in a relationship...I generally dont want anyone else and I am not comfortable about fucking another person's man...and she know about it...he spent like hours this morning in im to convince me of that....and I mean, wtf?
3. I am so tired of the rains its not even funny....I had made plans to rendevous with an occasional buddy this morning...and all that fell through...thus leaving me in a very aroused, vulnerable and confused state...thus the wiggings about the previous males.
4. And I have found a very nice man via my blog that I have found to be charming, interesting, warm and thoughtful...and he lives like thousands of miles away.....thunk thunk thunk (thats the sound of my head pounding against the wall).....
5. I still have my pocket rocket...lol....
Uggh...I dont want much...I just want something...that makes me comfortable...I am willing to cooperate and share...not all my terms....
3/29/2005 1:32 pm
1. This man is doing his own thing and that is what we all are doing. Certainly the feelings you felt are genuine and I am not trying to set them aside. In many ways you could consider yourself fortunate that this man at least let you know from the start what he is looking for. You weren't strung along like so many folks have complained about in the blogs here. Pat yourself on the back for the new experience. You got a glimpse of a world that might call to you later on down the road. |
2. That is an issue that bothers me somewhat too. There is a real and present danger from STD's. It is very important to practice safe sex period. As far as the emotional part of it goes...it is hard to share I guess. Hard, but not impossible. If it is a "friends with benefits" type of relationship then you have to accept that your partner will possibly have more than one friend. Still, with those two being engaged, I would not want to get in the middle of that situation either.
3. All I can say here is "I love females". Y'all are awesome. Truly the spice of life as I will never be able to fully understand your mysteries.
4. Blogging is cool. Most fun I have had here so far but I have only been here a week now.
5. I am with you on that honey. I don't need batteries though. Just a bottle of lotion.
3/30/2005 4:33 pm
SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU FELT LESS THEN, BECAUSE OF YOUR HOOKING UP. I DOUBT THAT WAS ANYONES INTENTION, BUT AS WAS STAED BY SOMEONE ELSE HERE,,,, AT LEAST YOU WERE FORWARNED....AND NOT STRUNG ALONG ...GOOD LUCK IN YOUR CONTINUED SEARCH |
4/12/2005 1:46 am
well babe u have my number and i have yours iam here when ever u want together and see what happens lets talk and become great friends and take it from there|