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No, You won't go blind....
No, You won't go blind....
This is a normal email coversation had this morning between me and my guy...no wonder people think we are a little...well weird..
Scene setup: Email conversation between Felony and Mr.Meaner. He has found his beloved X-Files series on sale for half price ($50 instead of $100). How far is he willing to go to get them.......
Felony: why do you torture yourself by looking all of the time.
you are going to order it aren't you????
Mr.Meaner: Damnit! This is on Amazon--not the Best Buy Dipshit Website. FORTY-NINE BUCKS! WHY? WHY? WHY?
Felony: i can't answer that baby...
did you check and see if best buy has it going on also?
Mr.Meaner: for $350 bucks I could get the rest of the series!!!!!!!!!!!
Felony: well...borders bookstore also has them for that price it seems...at least at their website...which is part of amazon. so there is a possibility the borders in bailey's crossroads has them cheap.
Mr.Meaner: what's cheap? cheaper than $50?
Felony: i am on the phone with them right now...just a sec. they are looking up how much they are.
Felony: nope it is only through the website.
Mr.Meaner: you are hilarious!
Mr. Meaner: because of you already being on the phone 2.2 seconds after i brought it up.
Felony: it was 4.8 secs...neener
and i figured if i checked...if you wanted it you could get it without putting it on your credit card....but the woman said it was only an online sale.
Mr. Meaner: hopefully it'll still be on sale on Thursday, and I can get it then.
Felony: DO NOT USE YOUR CREDIT CARD BABY!!!!!!!!
You will just be upset when you see the balance
Mr. Meaner: i know...
how about a 1000 watt surround sound system for $169.00?
Felony: well you would probably get more use out of that in the long run. but...wait a minute....no no no no no. nothing until after the wedding, and you have paid some of that off...remember???
Mr. Meaner: DAMNIT!!!!! I need $. Maybe I could hire myself out as a gigolo.
Mr. Meaner: why not? not good enough?
Felony: because i don't play well with others
Mr. Meaner: I don't get it.
Felony: oh i meant to write share...not play...
Mr. Meaner: i'll share the $ with you?????
Felony: you know...do what you have to...if the x-files is worth turning in to a whore for...go for it..I will try to stick by you and your new lifestyle for as long as I can...but ...no promises.
Felony: that was turning INTO a whore for...not to a whore
Felony: you think so now...
once you whore yourself out for something small like this...it becomes easier and easier each time...then you live on the streets, have no teeth, giving 5$ blowjobs to random men you meet...oh yes...men....
Mr. Meaner: Well, it isn't just for ONE X-files season. C'mon?! How big of a slut do you think I am?! I'm at least going to get the whole series! Duh!
Felony: well...now it is just one x-files, then what is next....all 9 seasons of CSI? Rescue Me? oh and then it is going to be...but baby...I just need to get the AFI Top 100...then it turns into I just need the New York Times list of the top 1000...when will it end?....When dvds are no longer the ultimate home media experiance? and you need to replace all of your old dvd's with the new holographic versions of all of your movies...? it will become an neverending cycle of sex for movies...hell...it will get to a point where you have so much cum in your eyes you won't even be able to watch them