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Porn, Gagging and Humor...
Porn, Gagging and Humor...
This one's for you, RD...
OK...so what is a guy thinking, when he has a lady (whom he considers a friend with benefits) in his presence and turns on a porn? We were just sitting there watching some movie, on cable, and suddenly he turns on a porn and trying to pass it off as a surprise, calls out, "What the?! How'd we get to this?!" as if I'm gullible enough to buy into it. What's especially funny is when he turns on the DVD player and pretends to be bewildered that there's a porn in the DVD player. "I didn't put that in there!" he coyly retorts in response to my protests.
Then, of course, we sit there and watch it. And yes, guys...I do the one thing that makes you all crazy...I do commentary. "Those aren't real" "She's soooo fake!" "He can't even get it up!" "Who says that?!" and the famous..."eewwww!" I do it for effect, mind you. I know it bothers the masses...and so I do it. Yes, I'm a naughty girl...I know.
Does porn make me uncomfortable? No, is it supposed to? I think what makes me uncomfortable is the ackward silence with slurping in the background. The "Yeah baby! Fuck me! Yeah!" which is sooooo not real when you read her body, her voice and the unmistakable *FACT* that I just caught her fighting a yawn...or the time she rolled her eyes! I even saw one girl biting back her hangnail during a scene...You can NOT tell me that she's into it, when she's giving herself a manicure while he's ramming her "tiny" little pussy. ROFLMAO. Tiny?? Who are you KIDDING!
Then, RD tells me, "Watch, this is my favorite part!" A cute little dirty blond attempts to give a blow job (notice the word give there, boys...GIVE...) and she's doing a TERRIBLE job. (Is there a website called "TerriblePorn.com or something?? Where do you guys keep getting this crap?) Suddenly, she starts to gag and RD calls out, "YEAH! GAG BABY!" This normally quiet, keeps to himself, happy go lucky guy just about climbs over the coffee table to cheer on the owner of the cock doing the damage. ((Settle down, children...settle down...I can imagine several of you, reading this, are cheering RD on for cheering on the porn star.))
Now...by complete coincidence...I **JUST** had a conversation about gagging, the other day, with a wonderfully dear lover of mine. He informed me that gagging is wonderful...something of an ego boost. We made jokes about it and I even have "Gag Bitch" on one of my internet profiles now. However, gagging seems rather unessesary to me. The poor thing obviously hasn't learned how to breathe, (or not breathe) how to pace herself and how to slow down a bit. She's not enjoying it. Isn't that what you guys say you want? Isn't what we girls always hear, "I want a girl to actually *enjoy* giving oral"? Um. How's she supposed to do that when she's about to chuck her cookies?
Anyway...back to the porn issue. RD looks at me and says, (last night) "Is this turning you on? Aren't you even a little interested?" Um. No. I'm sorry. It doesn't do anything for me. I'm much more interested in the real thing...and by real thing, I mean something that doesn't give me the "willies". I know there's better porn out there...or at least better bad porn. Amatuer porn is pretty damn good. My tastes are a bit twisted and so I won't go on to types of porn...to each his own...but you all get the idea.
What I guess I'm doing here is giggeling. Boys are, once again, silly. Maybe it's not even that, in fact I'm sure it's not that. Maybe it's a classic case of boys vs. girls; Men are from Mars...etc. Maybe I just don't get the gender and maybe I never will. But the facts remain the same....
Guys like porn, gagging and humor...oh...and "Sensuous...Sense-You-was-up...could you poor me another drink? Thanks hon."
2/21/2006 6:06 pm
Porn is funnier than it is sexy -I relate to you on finding the thrill in reality. Reality and porn don't much resemble one another. I've never had a girl gag. Ego boost? I'm not sure. Funny? Probably! Hopefully I wouldn't laugh right then, but in private. Sensuous? Your tag photo- truly beautiful. Take Care!|
2/24/2006 12:43 pm
had to chuckel over that one,, >lol< |
I have this thing about gaging,, it's that sound that turns my own stomack and if it gos on to long I'd be doing it to
the bad porn,, some of the worst is the best that way for humor
I've seen this one called Mr 18 in, it's so funny that he cant hardly keep it up long enough to strech a rubber over, then most of the rest of the cut to gether seans are of him trying to shove tis masive half limp dick into some girl sceaming YES YES fuck me harder
reminds me of some thing an old unchel of mine used say
some times lifes a drag,,, cause ya just can't shove a chain