Taking names and kicking arses  

Fallic40 53M
3214 posts
9/5/2005 5:05 pm
Taking names and kicking arses

I had written in Big bad dad about an incident that happened in an indoor socer match between a male player and my 15 year old daughter. He called her a cunt.

My first reaction was to go over and beat the shit out of him. Two of the guys that were on my team grabbed me instantly and got me down to the other end of the field. Two of the ladies on the team grabbed my daughter and got her over to the bench. She was pissed. The referee gave the guy a two minute penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct which is about all the rules allow.

We huddled up as a team before play resumed and we made a decision. I would be cool about what happened. My daughter would be cool about what happened. However, the other team would pay for what the guy had said.

Over the five minutes before half time, I can only describe what happened as a reign of terror. Every opposing player went down hard at least once, most going down three or four times. Every player was told they were paying for what the guy had said.

We never laid a finger on the guy himself. He was left alone. After the half time whistle, the other team was given an ultimatum by one of our players - kick the guy off the team at the half or pay a really heavy price for his presence.

What would you do? Did my team handle it correctly? What should my daughter have done?

Remember the tale is not done yet.


rm_lickmepretty 50F
851 posts
9/6/2005 12:23 am

I realize that daddies want to protect their little princesses, but if you daughter is to play in the boyz world, she's gonna need to take some heat (as crass as the little prick was) and she's gonna need to do it with dignity. Pounding lumps on unsuspecting people really isn't going to help the situation.(well, maybe make you feel a tad better at the moment ...tehe) But like I said, if she's gonna make it in the big bad world, let her fight her own battles to speak. Teach her self defense, and set her out there. She sounds pretty spunky already in her choice of sports, let her exhibit her sportsman like qualities by taking the dignified route. (and if she chooses to kick the shit out of the little bastard, smirk while she's not looking)


freetime648 52F

9/6/2005 4:03 am

Fallic, I am thinking I would have knocked the guys dick in the dirt! I like what your team did though! That is classic. But, if it had been me in the same situation...I would have taken the being kicked out of the game just to kick his pansy ass!!!! Then when the game was over..I would have held him down to let my daughter have a whack or too!!!! Anger management is not my strongest suit! LOL


xx FREETIME648 xx


DirtyLilSecret61 55F

9/6/2005 4:23 am

I think it was handled perfectly. Amazing how instantly rage comes on when our children are hurt in some way in life.

"Lil"


SunneyOne 43F

9/6/2005 10:50 am

I'm dying to know the rest of the story, Paul Harvey!!!


Barbiebunny69 43F

9/6/2005 6:08 pm

Personally, Oh lordy,
U should have paid the waterboy to hunt down that guys car, deflate all the tires, write "U monkeyspunk" in your daughters current lipstick color, then smile at the guy freakin him out, continue the pounding.. then have your daughter learn how to take the guy out herself.. May i suggest she learn what to do with a whip?

I think I need to go now..


MiAmore62 49M

9/6/2005 6:44 pm

Fallic.... I never read yuor blog before. I am ......... the type to strike out immediately at stuff but weirdly when I read your blog......... I felt bad for YOU..... AND your daughter of course. But you say in anohter you were an abused husband. Do you think it was right to take out YOUR anger on people that had nothing to do with it? Your daughter is going to get called far worse than a "cunt" in her lifetime..... the kid who called her that was an idiot but they are kids. SHE may call people worse than that in HER life..... I dunno..... they way you explained everyting it just sounds like youn were being like the person you divorced..... those other kids had nothing to do with the one kids actions. Turn the situation around..... think for a minute that someone onyour daughters team called a player on the opposing team a cunt.... would you want to see your daughter beat down because of that? No....you taight her very UN SPORTSMANLIKE behavour in MY opinion .............and at the saem time taught her how NOT to be a dignified young lady.
So to sum it up: What would I have done? I would habe told my daughter to laugh it off............. Did your team handle it correctly? Not even close. What should your daughter have done was the last question.... Ignore the remark with dignity and walk away standing tall............. I dont think any of you could have been more worng and i cant stress that hard enough. I cant belive i am saying all this as I would be the fisrt to want to do something like that but in reading it it sounds so wrong, juvenile, and way way worse than the kid calling your daughter a stupid name..... you just taught her to react like the woman you divorced..... and worse...you taught a whole team of vulnerable, trusting teens who are lokoing to you for guidanc to act like assholes....


MiAmore62 49M

9/6/2005 6:45 pm

Fallic.... I never read yuor blog before. I am ......... the type to strike out immediately at stuff but weirdly when I read your blog......... I felt bad for YOU..... AND your daughter of course. But you say in anohter you were an abused husband. Do you think it was right to take out YOUR anger on people that had nothing to do with it? Your daughter is going to get called far worse than a "cunt" in her lifetime..... the kid who called her that was an idiot but they are kids. SHE may call people worse than that in HER life..... I dunno..... they way you explained everyting it just sounds like youn were being like the person you divorced..... those other kids had nothing to do with the one kids actions. Turn the situation around..... think for a minute that someone onyour daughters team called a player on the opposing team a cunt.... would you want to see your daughter beat down because of that? No....you taight her very UN SPORTSMANLIKE behavour in MY opinion .............and at the saem time taught her how NOT to be a dignified young lady.
So to sum it up: What would I have done? I would habe told my daughter to laugh it off............. Did your team handle it correctly? Not even close. What should your daughter have done was the last question.... Ignore the remark with dignity and walk away standing tall............. I dont think any of you could have been more worng and i cant stress that hard enough. I cant belive i am saying all this as I would be the fisrt to want to do something like that but in reading it it sounds so wrong, juvenile, and way way worse than the kid calling your daughter a stupid name..... you just taught her to react like the woman you divorced..... and worse...you taught a whole team of vulnerable, trusting teens who are looking to you for guidance to act like assholes....


Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
9/6/2005 8:24 pm

lmp,

Rest assured this is one daddy who has no problems leaving his little princess to fend for herself on the soccer field - in a fair fight. This did not seem to be a fair fight. Her godfather is also on the team and has the same regard as I have.

The other team cannot be considered unsuspecting because their lack of action when the guy did what he did had the effect of condoning what he did. Soccer is a team sport. It is also a violent sport. Only ice hockey has more violence than soccer.

I would not allow any player to remain on a team that I played on who did what he did. There is what I shall refer to as honour amongst thieves. Strong players do not pick on weak players - especially at the recreational level. If a player does that, there are consequences.

If I had chosen to do so, I could have ended the guy's playing career with ease. It is very easy - just step over the ball and put all of one's weight on the ankle. The leg snaps like a matchstick. This was what I did not want to happen.

I was what is referred to as "a hatchet" for years in the top leagues in this area. My job was to enforce that code of conduct. I did not start the crap - I finished it.

What I ensured with the actions Friday night was that a lesson was handed out - also that every player was walking the following morning: bruised and battered - but walking.

Sportsmanship is a two way street. The second the guy opened his mouth to one of the female members of the team he had stepped over a line that he thought no-one would cross over with him. If he had called me a cunt, I would have laughed at him and maybe elbowed him when the referee wasn't looking - no big deal, it happens all the time.

What my daughter learned was how a team protects it's players at all times. She learned a valuable survival skill. She learned about the strength of the pack versus individual strength. A true team stays together.


Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
9/6/2005 10:43 pm

MiAmore,

I don't believe that anywhere so far has my daughter done anything unsporting. She has not retaliated, she has not sworn or in any way gone after the man - not kid, and let me re-iterate that - the man who thought he could break both written league rules and team rules.

The actions of my team are a standard action of any solid soccer team. The actions of my daughter should not include laughing it off. It was not funny, she was the only teen out there playing in a recreational league with adults. She is playing at that level because this will be one of the few opportunities we will ever have to play on a team together.

I also do not believe that anyone will try this again this season with her.


slightly_sexy8 38F
314 posts
9/7/2005 6:49 am

she probably shouldn't of been there.

if you are saying that it happens all the time," no big deal"... then you would have warned her that you play with or against teams of obnoxious people like that.

and i disagree with you actually. on a practical level it's not a big deal, the guy paid his two minute penalty for his mistake. it was word, not a hanging offence. how would he have know who she was or how old she was? if it happens all the time then he probably just blurted it out without even thinking. you took it far more personally than you probably should have because it was your daughter.

on a personal level, it is a big deal for men to go around calling women names like that and i hope, even without knowing you, that you don't call women names like that nor let your daughter grow up thinking she ever has to take that sort of language from men.

good luck with the season ahead, but remember, you are the one making your choice taking her there.


MiAmore62 49M

9/7/2005 1:10 pm

YOU WERE WRONG.


Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
9/7/2005 4:04 pm

As you all can see, there is no moral ambiguity out there when it comes to this event. People either agreed or disagreed. There was no middle ground. I include myself in this. Why would this be?

The question that goes to those who said the actions taken were inappropriate is which of you has played competitive soccer at any level. Have you ever beenin a situation such as this and what did you do?

The question to those who said give the guy a beating is why? Why take care of the issue off the field when it can be decided on the field. This way there are no pressing legal ramifications.

The issue that I will leave this update on is this. The fact that it was my daughter is secondary to the fact that it was a team mate. The matter would have evolved the same way no matter which of our 6 female players had been sworn at by ne of the male players.


Barbiebunny69 43F

9/7/2005 7:08 pm

im tellin ya.. a whip..shees people....


rm_lickmepretty 50F
851 posts
9/7/2005 9:10 pm

(hasn't played competitive soccer) But I have been involved in some what aggressive sports...field hockey, volleyball, fencing, archery, basketball, flag football, and martial arts (some of it coed)...teaching what I consider to be unsportsmanlike conduct isn't the answer...I got it that it may having given your daughter the comfort of team commardarie, but hurting others is just plain wrong. Keep in mind also that his was a assault of a word, not a physical offense. And she is not gonna have the team backing her ass in the big bad world. I've climbed the ladder in the corporate world and I've taken a lot of crap (and dished some back) from male bullies in the workforce(due I expect to their low self esteem and ever lower valuation of women) and I not only survived, I thrived...and I'm guessing your daughter has what it takes to make it on her own two feet. Maybe your background has you viewing things with different eyes than some of us, but the way I see it bullying on the unsuspecting teammates of his isn't the way to go. Not trying to piss you off here, just expressing a grown up viewpoint from a woman that has already lived it.


rm_lickmepretty 50F
851 posts
9/7/2005 9:11 pm

lol at barbiebunny--you go gurl!


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