Relieving One's Self (Of Boredom)  

Fallic40 53M
3214 posts
1/14/2006 1:21 pm
Relieving One's Self (Of Boredom)

I have been somewhat house bound during my convalescence. I get e-mails and phone calls from friends. I peruse the AdultFriendFinder site and leave lots of comments on my favourite sites such as _Safira and [blog tennismaiden]. I have found some new favourites such as fantasia_shares and impish_pixie. But most of all, I am bored. I cannot go out and play because of the rain and I am twiddling my thumbs.

But help seemed to be at hand. I found an amazing new book that had gone on sale in the UK. It is called Bored Stupid. At first it looked exciting ‒ lots of new things to do. But I found the items listed to be rather mundane. So, having lots of time on my hand, I raised the bar a little and improved upon a theme. So give these a try for your own amusement and the discomfort of all around you.

Ring McDonalds and complain about the food. Then name only Burger King or Jack-In-The box items.

Braid your dog’s hair, braid your cat's hair, or better yet, braid your back or pubic hair.

Shave a coconut.

Test your acting skills by pretending to be Scottish for a day. As an example, think about Mike Myers as Fat Bastard, and do not forget the all important Glasgow Kiss (head butt). This is too much fun at McDonalds. “I love you, man.”

Complicate simple everyday conversations by making a rule that you can only speak in riddles or rhymes a la Dr. Seuss.

If you're twiddling your thumbs at home, why not have some fun by removing all your significant other's DVDs and CDs from their cases and then put them back in the wrong ones. This sent my oldest daughter into orbit.

Place a personal ad for your dog in your local newspaper. Be sure to state that he/she is looking for a friend with benefits. Better yet ladies, why not get that little bitch of yours her own AdultFriendFinder account and laugh at all the cock shots she is sent that are bigger than your Chihuahua. “Oh look Schatzy, it’s your twin!”

Make enemies and lose friends in the name of fun by staring at people until they snap and turn around. Then say “what?” It is most important to look like you are about to say something to them all the time also.

If you're stuck indoors, why not head to your wardrobe and put on all of the clothes you own - at the same time. And if you’re a total pervert, put on all of your loved one’s clothes at the same time.

Look disgusted when people call your name. Flare your nostrils and raise an eyebrow at the same time to strike the right note of condescension. This is sure to keep you amused.

Whenever anyone tells you anything, demand that they prove it. This will drive them round the bend. Answer every question with a question.

Agree with every statement said to you, no matter how inane. A simple “you are so right, what was I thinking,” will give anyone talking to you a nervous break down after about 20 minutes. It works brilliantly with sports officials.


And please, one of you very bright and articulate ladies that come and visit me, please, please place the dog ad in here. We could call it a “social experiment” and you can post the results for all of us.


Fox4aKnight1 43F

1/14/2006 11:21 pm

ROTFLMFAO

Okies I was a tad bored till I read that list and you might want to add,

1.Calling into Domino's and trying to get a deal from Pizza Hut.

2. Going thru the Micky D's drive thru and orgering a whoper. (old but amusing)
3. walking into any "fast food" resturant and telling them that a bus load of senior citizens just pulled up.

4. Again walking into a "fast food" place and ordering 237 hamburgers and 25 happy meals w/a straight face.

5. Sit faceing a mirror (which family is able to see your reflection) and when they look at the mirror, cross you eyes. They will at the very least be doing double takes.

6. Wink very obviosly after every paragraph. It will make pl really wonder if you have lost it or if you are just kidding with them all the time.

Have fun Fallic *grinz*

hugs,
Kelli/foxy


Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
1/15/2006 8:23 am

Fox4aKnight, I really like number 6. Number 3 is also extremely good.


_Safira 53F
11260 posts
1/15/2006 10:49 am

OMG!!! I'm laughing at ALL of these!

GREAT post, my dear!

(And GREAT follow-ups, Fox4!!)

This is my blog - Comes With Warning Labels. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

RECOMMENDED READING: A F F ... The Only Site For Me?


FeistySyn 51F

1/15/2006 12:01 pm

Great stuff!!! Though my personal all time fav was, a year ago I was dating this very yummy man who was just a tad anal (OCD?) about how things were organized in his house... and to mess with him, about once a month when he would leave for work before me and I was alone at his place, I would rearrange his closet and sock drawer for him. Mind you, not a MASSIVE re-arrange that would be immediately noticed and corrected, just a shirt here from this "casual" section over to dressy, or these nice slacks moved into the middle of the jeans... and the socks were the BEST!!! damned if he didn't end up wearing miss-matched pairs to work more than once, not noticing in the dark of the morning and his rush I had once again played my "game" .... and yes, I did this all out of love, I swear!!! Aren't I good to my men?

Syn

Apparently the depth of depravity here is bottomless... don't you feel right at home?
~~~~~


Fox4aKnight1 43F

1/15/2006 12:52 pm

LOL Fallic glad ya liked.....some were obviously old standbys and some I happen to know from personal experince. LMAO ....like the winking thing. We have an ongoing joke in our family that we have a winking disease LOL.

Safira,
thank hun hugs .....glad ya liked. *grinz*

hugs,
Kelli/Foxy


Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
1/15/2006 4:11 pm

FiestySyn, so you were dating Monk hmmm. My ex-sister in law has OCD and my father in law would play for hours by scattering coasters on the coffee table every time she left the room. He would time her to see how long it took her to tidy them up.


Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
1/15/2006 4:17 pm

Hi Shaye, I still don't know if any of these ways to brighten up a rainy day quite as well as your way.

For those who are not sure what I am talking about, read [post 202819].


Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
1/15/2006 4:19 pm

Nikki, go for it. You know that there will be guys out there sending out all kinds of invites. You could title it "cold nose, warm tongue".


Fox4aKnight1 43F

1/15/2006 8:06 pm

LMAO Fallic ....nope no OCD but we use to call our dog that ....we got him addicted to the laser pointer and if he was ina mood (which he was about half the time) he would just stand there looking at us till we got out the laser pointer in pure self defense. LOL and to get him to quit drooling all over us. Now he is about 5 yrs old and now going "bye bye" is the height of fun for him ....all you have to do is jingle some keys andwhere in the house and he is waiting at the door with this dreadfully pathetic hopeful look on his poor doggy face. LOL I am sooooo awful sometimes. But I get it from my dad. LOL

pst hey at least I didn't suggest tying the laser to the cats colaar and then settting her loose in the house *grinz*


impish_pixie 54F
6867 posts
1/15/2006 8:24 pm

Place a personal ad for your dog in your local newspaper. Be sure to state that he/she is looking for a friend with benefits. Better yet ladies, why not get that little bitch of yours her own Passion.com account and laugh at all the cock shots she is sent that are bigger than your Chihuahua. “Oh look Schatzy, it’s your twin!”

OMG...I LOVE It. Loved your list - and all the comments. I spoke with Maggie and she's all for it. So here's our most honest attempt:

OLDER BITCH LOOKING FOR YOUNG STUD

"I have a bad reputation, but don't let it scare you away. My bark is usually worse than my bite. I am a strong spirited female, used to getting my own way, and can on occasion turn on my dominant side. I've been told my soft brown eyes can melt the hardest of hearts, which is good because I require immense amounts of affection. PDA's are very important to me as I constantly need to know that you are happy with me by your side. If quiet is what you're looking for, look elsewhere. I am a very vocal female and have been known to let my pleasure as well as my displeasure be heard with absolutly no inhibitions. I love moonlit walks on the beach, playing ball, snuggling on the bed or couch watching "Bear" shows on Discovery. I'm not a dainty female who can't take care of myself, I'm actually quite muscled and strong and have had many compliments on my well defined chest. Especially when I run. If you're not afraid of a strong, dominant, sweet, loving, loyal female...well then sweetie, I'm the bitch for you."

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn


Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
1/16/2006 9:57 am

impish, my darlin', do you realize how many hits that will generate? Your dog will be inundated with responses. That is brilliant.


Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
1/16/2006 10:01 am

so, saffy, light of my life, come up with some ideas for us. I know that you have a wicked (but not evil)and devious (deviant?) mind.


impish_pixie 54F
6867 posts
1/16/2006 7:03 pm

So Darlin'... (giggle) Look for a post on my darling "bitch" within the next few days...quite the story how she came to be with me.

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn


Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
1/16/2006 7:39 pm

imp, I will


_Safira 53F
11260 posts
1/17/2006 8:07 pm

Oh, Fallic ~ May I take a pass on this one? I'm afraid I'm one of those disgusting people who is never bored nor boring. (Perhaps a bit boorish at times ...)

This is my blog - Comes With Warning Labels. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

RECOMMENDED READING: A F F ... The Only Site For Me?


Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
1/17/2006 8:57 pm

Saf - just this once


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